Pride Goes Before the Fall
by writinginthemargins
Summary: Marion Shepard avoids using her biotics at all costs, scarred from her encounter on Akuze. Her father, dead in the First Contact War, fuels her desire to be the best...as well as her prejudice against turians. Shepard must battle Reapers and her own demons if she is to find peace for the galaxy and for herself. A rewrite of the ME trilogy, FemShep/Garrus.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first ME fan fiction. It is a work-in-progress and I am writing as I replay the games so bear with me. If you love FemShep/Garrus, then hopefully you will love this story. Just be patient; this Shep has a long way to go. I will try to post chapters weekly. This story will follow the ME trilogy and will sometimes stick to canon...and sometimes not. And of course this story owes its existence to Bioware and the creators of the ME trilogy and all rights belong to them. Enjoy!**

* * *

There she was. The Normandy SR-1. She was the most beautiful thing Shepard had ever laid eyes on. Sleek and shining on the docks of Arcturus Station, Shepard felt a smile twitching at the corners of her lips. Damn proud. That's how she felt, knowing that was her assigned ship. If only Pop could see her...

Shepard was jogged from her daydream by a body slamming into her from behind. She stumbled forward cursing, trying to balance herself for defense.

"I am so sorry," a husky voice apologized, reaching out to steady her. Shepard pushed the hands away brusquely.

"Try paying attention," she muttered, embarrassed to have been caught unawares. She looked up into a pair of concerned brown eyes. His strong chiseled features contrasted with a soft full mouth, currently frowning. It was the kind of face girls would dream after, and Shepard had no time for that.

"No you're right," he said, bending down to grab a duffel bag he must have dropped. "Are you assigned to the Normandy?"

Shepard nodded, shouldering her own bag. "I'm Commander Marion Shepard, Executive Officer," holding out her hand in an effort to appear professional.

His eyes widened, but if he was surprised by her appearance he said nothing. "Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko ma'am," he replied, taking her hand firmly but without testing her grip.

"I hope you're more alert when we're on the field Alenko," Shepard responded, walking up the gangplank.

"I try to be ma'am," he said with a smirk. "But wouldn't you be distracted at your first sight of the SSV Normandy?"

She decided to remain silent on that point.

* * *

She settled into her bunk, stowing her belongings in her locker. Shepard tucked her holo under the pillow, brushing the image gently with her fingers before she left. Gear checked, Marion stretched her hands, settling her nerves. When she left this room she would become Commander Shepard, Executive Officer of the Alliance. Nerves had no business outside this room.

Shepard knew she had a reputation. That reputation had been necessary to build up respect and not just pity among peers and officers. Her long wavy black hair was kept back in an elaborate bun, her one show of vanity that was also remarkably convenient under a helmet. The scars on her cheek and lip were constant reminders of Akuze, but even if they bothered Shepard, they also reminded others of who they were dealing with. Still mirrors hadn't been a friend to this marine in a long time.

She shook her head suddenly to be rid of the nightmares that threatened to rear their heads. Today she was here, on the most advanced starship in the Alliance fleet. She would do her duty and make her family proud.

"Time to show off," she grinned.

* * *

Nihlus strode past her in the CIC, nodding at her. Abruptly tense, Shepard barely resisted the urge to clench her fists and forced herself to nod civilly. 'On this ship, he is a Spectre, not a turian,' she struggled to remind herself. If nothing else, she could obey the rules of command. By the time she got up to the pilot, Shepard could already hear Joker wise-cracking to…someone?

"Playing nice today Joker?" Shepard asked with a smirk.

"As always Commander," he shot back. "Hey Captain, Nihlus the Grim Reaper is coming to see you. Be sure to batten down the hatches."

"He's already here Joker," replied the Captain through the comm, making Joker wince.

"You're just making friends all over the place today, aren't you?" Shepard asked with a quirked brow.

Joker spun around to glare. "Hey, I make plenty of friends," he retorted. "For example, meet my new friend, Kaidan…"

"Alenko," Shepard finished. "We met."

Kaidan stood with a brief salute. "Ma'am," he said respectfully.

"At ease Alenko," said Shepard. "I'm just here to enjoy the ride." _And those eyes_, she thought to herself. If Alenko was disconcerted by the sudden dreamy quality to her eyes, he masked it well.

* * *

The Normandy glided through space with an ease that seemed unearthly. Shepard could feel the gentle thrum of the engines through her feet as she headed toward the comm room, nodding at Jenkins and Dr Chakwas on her way. The young recruit was talking about the glories of going into battle. Shepard could not help but scoff as she walked past. Someday, all too soon, he would know what battle truly was. And it was never glory.

Entering the comm room, Shepard was less than pleased to see Nihlus and not her captain. She stopped several feet away, holding herself at rest to try and restrain her tension. "Shepard. I was hoping we could speak for a moment," said the turian, taking in her guarded stance.

"About what sir?" she asked, keeping her tone neutral.

"You don't care for my being aboard this ship," he said bluntly.

Shepard cleared her throat but held his gaze. "My personal opinions don't enter in my professional capacity abroad this ship sir," she replied with a slight strain.

"I know your history Commander," he said, pacing across the room. "You were exposed to element O while your mother was on shore leave on Earth. You were then born in 2154 and have spent your entire life in space. A military brat." His mandibles flapped at the visible tension in Shepard's jaw but he continued his recitation. "Your father was killed in the First Contact War when you were a small child. You enlisted in 2172 and in 2177 were the sole survivor of a thresher maw attack on Akuze. You displayed prodigious biotic power I've heard." He stopped in front of her, leaning forward. "And yet I've also heard that despite your talent and prodigious skill, you avoid using biotics at any cost and you demonstrate an inclined disgust for other species."

"Not all species," Shepard said through gritted teeth.

"Fair enough," Nihlus acknowledged. "But as humanity seeks to expand, perhaps even join the Council, it is imperative that its prime examples remain open to cooperation. It's the only way to survive in this galaxy."

"I will take your advice into consideration Spectre," said Shepard. "Could we please return to the mission at hand?"

"We are headed to Eden Prime Commander," said the Spectre, pulling up images of a green and beautiful word. "One of the Alliance's premier colonies. Something of a symbol for your people."

"I've never been sir," said Shepard, eyeing the door.

"I wonder though…" He turned to look back at Shepard, his dark eyes made sinister by the dim lighting of the comm room. "How safe is this colony? And how prepared is the Alliance to take on a leadership role in the galaxy?"

Shepard's gray blue eyes turned stormy. "I hope this is all hypothetical and not a threat, sir," she said, gaze level.

"Just a question." The two stared at each other, measuring as Captain Anderson entered.

"Have you had a chance to inform the commander of our mission Nihlus?" the captain asked, nodding at Shepard. She felt more relaxed as her friend and commanding officer stepped between them. Anderson would be straight with her, if nothing else.

"No, but I hope to be filled in shortly Captain," said Shepard, glaring at the Spectre.

He chuckled as Nihlus turned back to the image of Eden Prime. "The crew is suspicious that this is more than a shakedown run. And they are right."

"We needed the stealth systems for a pick-up on Eden Prime," explained the captain. "A research team found a Prothean beacon during an excavation. This could be big for the Alliance, Shepard. We need to bring the beacon back to the Citadel to properly examine it."

"Of course the Council is very interested in this discovery," interjected Nihlus. "Any and all discoveries of Prothean technology must be registered with the Council by law."

"Is that why we have a Spectre on board Captain?" asked Shepard. "Or are we expecting trouble on the ground?"

"I always expect trouble," said Nihlus.

"Nihlus is also here for you Shepard," said Anderson. "He's here to evaluate you."

If a turian could look smug, Shepard imagined that was the look on the Spectre's face. She felt flutters of anger building in her chest but forced herself to address the Captain calmly. "I wasn't aware that the Council now evaluated Alliance personnel," she said.

"The Alliance is looking to gain more traction on the Council. Adding a human Spectre to their ranks will help demonstrate our potential and what we can add to the galaxy."

Shepard stood in silence for a moment, blinking slowly. "You…are considering me for Spectre candidacy?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"You showed a remarkable will to survive on Akuze Shepard," said Nihlus. "And though you prefer not to use them, your biotic abilities serve you well. That's why I put your name forward for candidacy. We shouldn't let the asari have all the fun," he added with a grin at the Captain.

"You put my name forward?" Shepard asked, her surprise breaking through the façade.

"Yes Commander. Together we'll complete a series of missions so I can evaluate your skills firsthand. Are you prepared for that?"

Shepard swallowed tightly and pushed away the warring feelings of embarrassment and excitement. "Just say the word, Captain," she said.

Anderson smiled. "Excellent. We should reach Eden Prime shortly. We'll…"

"Captain!" Joker's voice came through the intercom. "We might have a problem. I'm getting a transmission from Eden Prime."

"Patch it through Joker," ordered the captain, stepping up to the comm link.

Fire. Soliders running. A young woman rushing at the camera. "Get down," she cried. "We are taking heavy casualties," shouted another woman in a heavy Indian accent. Shepard stepped forward, eyes intent. The weapons…they didn't sound familiar. "They came out of nowhere!" someone else shouted. Suddenly everyone froze in horror. The camera panned to take in an image of…a ship?

"What is that?" Shepard muttered. The great metallic beast came through the clouds, red lightening seeming to crackle along its appendages. It looked like some terrifying insect come to life before her eyes, raining death and destruction down on what had been a peaceful colony.

Suddenly the transmission cut out, replaced by static. "That's all we get Captain," said Joker over the comm. "Cuts out after that. I can't get any more transmissions." Shepard looked to Anderson, who was still staring at the static filled screen.

"Reverse it to 38.5," he ordered. Joker complied and the image of that terrible ship froze before them. Shepard stepped forward, eyes narrowed. "I can't say I recognize the ship Captain," she said. "I've never seen anything like it."

"I don't think any of us have Commander," said Nihlus, his voice grim.

"Status report Joker," barked Anderson, marching out of the comm room and headed to the bridge. Nihlus and Shepard followed, rushing past a bewildered Pressley.

"We're 17 minutes out Captain," shouted Joker. Shepard nodded at Alenko, who was helping sort through the data beside Joker. "No other Alliance ships in the area. Just us."

"Shepard, Alenko, suit up. Grab Jenkins. Our mission just got complicated," order Anderson.

Shepard smiled grimly as she headed past him. "That's what makes it interesting Captain."

* * *

The Normandy glided toward the beleaguered colony, her stealth systems active for the first time. Though Shepard could feel her heart pounding from the adrenaline, she stepped into her suit in the cargo bay, focusing on the feel of the inner fabric on her skin. It was a ritual to center her for every mission.

"Oh sorry Commander!" She turned, attempting to zip up her suit. Alenko was behind her, stepping into his own suit, his chest bare and face pink.

"No problem Alenko," she replied with a chuckle. "Same species, just slightly different anatomy."

"I guess that's true Commander," he said, though his eyes remained focused on his own suit as he prepped. Shepard just laughed again and continued her ritual.

Jenkins bounded into the cargo bay, already suited, weapon in hand. "Finally some action!" he crowed.

"Cool it kid," Shepard ordered. "This is a mission, not a picnic. Store your weapon until it's needed and take a seat."

"Yes ma'am," he replied, barely abashed.

Nihlus and Anderson entered behind him. "Are you coming with us Spectre?" asked Alenko as he pulled his helmet on.

"No I'll be traveling alone. It's faster. Your commander could tell you all about working alone," he said, his mandibles flapping.

Shepard stepped forward, fists clenching again. "I only work with those I can trust," she said tightly.

"Oh? And how long have you been working with Lieutenant Alenko and Corporal Jenkins?" he questioned. Shepard swallowed tightly and bit back any reply.

"I'll see you at the rendezvous point Commander," said Nihlus. With that, he headed down the ramp, leaving the strike team and a fuming Shepard behind.

"Get in, get out Commander," ordered Anderson. "No fancy footwork, just secure the beacon. Extra forces are on the way to help the colony."

"What about survivors Captain?" asked Alenko, worried.

"The mission is priority Lieutenant," Anderson said, pity in his eyes. "Helping survivors is secondary. Get that beacon. It's vital we bring it intact on board the ship."

* * *

Stepping onto the surface of Eden Prime, of any planet really, was always a strange experience for Shepard. Most of her life had been spent aboard ships and space stations; the hum of engines, the coolness of the metal, the sight of the stars around her. That was home. Land was foreign.

But this place felt extra strange. Jenkins looked around in horror. The bodies on the ground, the sound of gunfire in the air. The sun was beginning to set, casting a sinister red glow on what should have been a beautiful cliff side. The strike team moved forward, Shepard on point. She reached a rock formation before a clearing and paused, signaling for her team to stop.

It was quiet here. Her instincts tingled and she felt her biotics rising. She thrust them down, refusing to let them influence her work. After a moment, she gestured forward and Jenkins and Alenko fanned out, carefully evaluating the area.

Suddenly there was a strange gurgling sound. Shepard stood, looking around. And then she saw them: three drones rushing down the hill. Their target was Jenkins.

"Jenkins, take cover!" she shouted, rushing forward with her pistol out.

But she was too late. In a flash of fire the drones gunned him down and he dropped before her. He cried out as the rounds hit him in the chest, then lay still. Shepard rushed to cover, Alenko behind her. He suddenly leaped up, his omni-tool lighting as he sabotaged one drone, sending it spinning into another. Shepard popped out of cover, taking a cool aim at the last drone, and dropping it with a precision shot.

Alenko was already rushing to Jenkins. "He's gone Alenko," said Shepard, her voice tired. She lifted a hand to her helmet, by habit touching where a headset would be. "Normandy this is Commander Shepard. Jenkins is down, we need a pick-up. Marking his location now and proceeding to the dig site."

The lieutenant still knelt by the young man, a finger at his pulse point, his head hung. Shepard knelt beside him, a hand on his back. "Never lost someone on your squad, have you?" she asked, her voice low.

"No ma'am," he replied. "It's hard to see, he's just so young."

"It never gets easier lieutenant," said Shepard. She stood, readying her weapon. "But I need you to stay focused, understood? We have to complete our objective and honor his memory in doing so."

Alenko stood, a grim expression settling onto his face. "Aye aye ma'am."

"Good." Shepard looked toward the ridge. "Let's go get these sons of bitches."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone. Normally I won't be able to update this quickly, but I had some free time so here it is! I know the first few chapters are going to sound somewhat repetitive. My changes to the narrative will start to come once Eden Prime is over with. So stick with me. Ok enough of my jabbering. See you at the bottom!**

* * *

Panic threatened to overwhelm her. Ashley Williams ran like hell for the boulder that promised some safe haven just ahead. Those…things were behind her with their strange and frightening gurgling noises. Nirali and Tim and Calvin and Regina: they were all gone. Only she was left. Her feet pounded harder and she felt a round strike her shield, causing her to stumble. She let the momentum throw her forward, twisting as she landed on the ground to aim and shoot. She struck one of the AIs in its headlight and used the distraction to lunge for the boulder, desperately trying to breathe.

After a moment she realized there were no sounds of pursuit. Cautiously, she peered around the edge. The enemy were holding a man, a colonist by his clothes. The man looked dazed, bewildered, likely from the gash across his forehead. One of the synthetics placed him on top of a strange three-pronged platform. Williams' eyes narrowed and in the moment it took her to blink, a spike shot out of the platform, spearing the man and lifting him high in the air. Williams gasped and hid again, fighting the urge to vomit. "Like hell will I let you do that to me," she muttered.

She could hear them moving across the scorched grass, that strange gurgling sound proceeding them. Williams tried to slow her breathing, gripping her gun tightly. Suddenly she lunged out from her cover, shotgun drawn. "Vaya al diablo!" she screamed, taking aim.

But before she could fire, one of the AIs dropped in an explosion of electronic parts. The other collapsed, its headlight sparking. Williams turned and watched two marines make their way down the hill, pistols drawn. She sagged back against the boulder and pulled off her helmet. "Oh thank God," she muttered before vomiting violently into the grass.

* * *

Shepard trotted down to the young soldier, instinctually scanning the area. "You all right?" she asked, pulling the helmet out of the heaving woman's hands.

The brunette nodded, wiping her mouth and bracing herself on her knees before standing up to salute. "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, ma'am," she said, managing to still sound professional despite the exhaustion and fear in her eyes. In another time, another place the young woman would be considered pretty, beautiful even with strong tan cheekbones and thick brown hair. Today on Eden Prime, she was drenched in sweat, her cheeks pale and her eyes holding ghosts. Shepard remembered that look only too well.

"Commander Marion Shepard, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko," Shepard gestured to her comrade. "What's the sit rep Chief?"

Williams took back her helmet, suiting up as she spoke. "We were on a routine patrol when…chaos happened." She gestured around her. "We were ambushed by these metal things and that ship came out of the sky. I've never seen anything like this. Communications got cut off and we were on our own. There were so many of them. Eden Prime has always been quiet, a bit dull, at least until that damn beacon was dug up. That must be why the geth are here."

"Geth?" repeated Alenko, his brow furrowed. "The geth haven't left the Veil in 200 years."

"Well they're here now apparently," said Shepard, cutting off what would have been a sharp retort from Williams. "Where's the dig site Williams?"

"Just around the ridge Commander," she replied gesturing behind her. "I can take you there."

"If you're up for it, we'll move out. Our mission is to secure the beacon. But I need to be sure you have a clear head," said Shepard. She looked past Williams, not seeming to see what was around her. "Surviving when your squad has been lost takes a toll on a person."

Alenko glanced over at the commander but said nothing. Williams just straightened and saluted. "I'm five by Commander. I couldn't defend this colony, but I will get you to your objective."

Shepard smiled crookedly and slapped Williams on the shoulder. "You're all right Chief," she said. "Now where's that beacon?"

* * *

The last geth on the dig site dropped. Williams rushed forward cursing. "The beacon's gone," she said, spinning around in a futile search. "It was right here this morning. It must have been moved just before the attack."

"Nothing's ever easy," Shepard muttered, stretching her shoulders as Alenko scanned the perimeter. "Ok, where would the beacon have been moved Williams?"

"We could check the research camp. It's at the top of the ridge."

"All right. Alenko, you good?" Shepard asked.

"Aye ma'am," he answered. "Biotics aren't overheating. I should be all right for a while."

"Feel free to down a bar if you need to," Shepard said, already heading up the ridge.

"How about you Commander? Do you need one?" It was a simple question, the product of a kind and thoughtful mind.

But it was like something had shot the commander. Shepard visibly tensed, her free hand clenching and unclenching. When she turned to face the lieutenant, he found himself taking an involuntary step back. "I don't use that Jedi bullshit anymore," she said in a deadly low voice, her blue eyes turned to a cold grey. "Use it as you need, but don't ever ask me about my biotics again. Am I understood lieutenant?"

Alenko stared for a moment, his own eyes going hard beneath his helmet. He slowly straightened and saluted, as if mocking her. "Aye aye ma'am," he said, refusing to look away.

Shepard's jaw tightened beneath her helmet but she forced herself to let go. _He's just watching out for the squad_, she reminded herself as they began to climb the ridge. _Not everyone knows the story of Akuze and it's not fair to go after your squad. You will apologize later when…_

"Holy hell," she muttered as they reached the camp.

The small research camp was in flames. Trailers tipped over, equipment splashed everywhere mixed with a blood. A few synthetics littered the ground but they were outnumbered by the bodies of fallen marines and researchers. Alenko and Williams fanned out to check vital signs while Shepard approached three of the spikes. The bodies of a few poor souls hung above her. Shepard dropped her head and began examining the device, searching for a way to retract the spikes and free the men and women trapped up there. Though…

She glanced back up again, narrowing her eyes. The bodies looked…different. Were those wires running along their limbs? And there! A hand twitch.

Shepard backed away, a cold sweat beginning to break out on her neck. "Williams, Alenko, we need to move on. Something's not right here," she called out. She trotted back to her squad, one eye on the spikes.

That's when she saw it. The spikes began to retract all on their own. Shepard froze in horror as the bodies flopped down onto the platform and then began to stand, sparks coming off their bodies.

"Oh my God," Williams whispered behind her as the three soldiers watched in pure horror. And then the things that had once been people, the husks, rushed at them.

"Fire!" Shepard yelled. It was pure instinct that made them lift their weapons and begin to fire, even as thoughts of the people these things had once been made Shepard's gorge rise. Hitting them in their limbs did not seem to faze the husks as they rushed at the marines. Only a headshot or a direct hit to the center of the chest seemed to affect them. Shepard discovered that when she got one through the head. Williams hit the other in the chest while Alenko threw a warp at the third, partially disintegrating it before he finished it off in the head.

"They're not just killing the colonists," Williams said, her voice dazed. "They're turning them into synthetics."

Shepard could feel her blood boiling. This was supposed to be a simple mission. What the hell were these synthetics doing to this poor colony? She charged forward to one of the geth synthetics on the ground and unloaded a few rounds into it, letting out a scream of disgust. After a moment she halted, breathing heavily. "Where do we find this goddamned beacon now Williams?" she spat.

"It must have already made it to the spaceport," the young soldier said, swallowing tightly. "We can take the tram down the hill."

Shepard began stalking in the gestured direction, activating her comm link with the Spectre. "Nihlus, the geth are turning the colonists into these husks. If you haven't already encountered them be on the lookout. Nihlus, do you copy?" Silence. "As usual, can't count on a turian," she muttered.

* * *

As they trotted down the hill toward the spaceport, Shepard would never forget her first eyewitness siting of a Reaper. It was drawing back up into the atmosphere, its insect-like appendages waving with red lightening sparking around them. It was a ship designed to instill fear.

"Look at the size of that thing," Williams said, mouth agape.

"Enemies at our 12!" Alenko suddenly shouted. With a biotic shove he pushed Williams and Shepard behind a boulder as geth opened fire. Shepard gasped as she felt that familiar tingle around her body. Her biotics rose in her, responding to the sensations. She swallowed and forced them back, ignoring the way an anxious nausea gripped her gut at the sudden rush of power.

But a firefight was always a good distraction. Shepard fired at the geth below her, focusing down the scope of her Kessler pistol. One dropped on the steps of the space port; Alenko electrocuted another. She was so focused on the geth's returning fire that Shepard did not see the spikes releasing a new set of husks, who were now charging at her around the boulder.

"Commander!" Williams shouted, firing at the closest one. It exploded in a loud burst of electronics, sending Shepard reeling backward into the rock wall. She gasped, her shields evaporating. She felt heat on her right arm and yelped, leaping away from the still sparking corpse. Alenko biotically threw the last geth and then rushed to his commander. "Shepard, you all right?" he asked, reaching for her arm.

She shied away, making her wince even more. "A burn I think. Some medigel should patch me up." Alenko passed her a packet that she spread along the affected area, wincing and then relaxing as the cool gel took effect.

"Let's keep going," she said after a moment, shaking out the burned arm. "I just want to find this damn beacon and get off this planet."

* * *

Reaching the spaceport and seeing Nihlus' still body in a pool of blue blood made Shepard's stomach knot in a rare moment of guilt. "Shot in the back of the head," Alenko said, examining the body. "How did he not see that coming?"

"There was someone else here," Shepard replied, looking around. "Someone he trusted enough to turn his back for a moment."

"A turian?" Williams said, looking perplexed. "What the hell is a turian doing here?"

"He's a Spectre," explained Alenko, standing up. "He came with us on the SSV Normandy to secure the beacon."

Sudden movement behind a crate. To her credit, Williams' reaction was fastest, her assault rifle out and aimed. "Commander! Over there!" Shepard lifted her pistol, walking forward slowly, Alenko on her six.

"This is Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy. Come out with your hands up. Now!" she shouted.

Very slowly a pair of hands peeked out behind the crate, followed by a skull cap and a pair of wide frightened eyes. "Don't shoot!" the colonist said.

Shepard sighed, lowering her weapon. "There's no way you took out Nihlus," she said, eyeing his flabby stomach and trembling hands.

"The turian? No way!" he exclaimed, looking down at the body with a shiver. "It was his friend. I couldn't believe it. When that one turned away, the other one shot him in the back, cool as you please."

"The other one?" Shepard repeated. "Another turian?"

"Yeah, big guy, lots of white face paint. Mean looking son of a bitch. I've never been so thankful for a nap in my life…"

"Wait. You were taking a nap?" Williams asked in disbelief.

The man bristled, puffing himself up. "Hey, sometimes I need a few to get through my shift!" he said defensively. "Luckily I had or I wouldn't have seen that Saren character kill your friend."

"Saren?" Shepard repeated. "That's the other turian?"

"Yeah, that's what your friend called him. He thought Saren was here to help him. Guess he was wrong."

"Have you seen the beacon?" Alenko asked.

"Yeah, I helped load it onto the tram this morning. That Saren ordered some of the geth to follow him over there. He probably already has it," said the man.

Shepard cursed under her breath. "This mission just gets worse and worse. Ok people let's move out. You," she pointed at the colonist, "as you were." The man meekly went back to his corner. "Hopefully we can end this mission before I lose my mind," she muttered as they headed to the tram.

* * *

"I hate juggernauts, I hate juggernauts," Shepard chanted to herself as they raced through the space port, Williams disabling the bombs Saren had left scattered for them.

She signaled for Alenko to open cover fire then charged out, overloading one geth as she rushed toward a rocket trooper. It fired and she swerved, taking aim as she skidded. One shot in the headlight and that was down too.

"This one's done Commander!" Williams shouted behind her. Shepard spared a glance at her omnitool.

"One more up ahead Williams!" she called back. "I'll cover you!"

With a deep breath Shepard charged back down the pathway, ramming one geth in the shoulder and sending it over the railing with a squeal. Williams came up behind her, dropping to one knee beside the last bomb. Shepard stood over her, firing at a few geth troopers. Alenko warped one as he came up behind it before shooting it in the chest.

The bomb beeped and then silenced. "We're all good Commander," Williams said, pulling off her helmet to wipe off her forehead. When she didn't respond, Williams looked up. "Commander?"

But Shepard was staring down at the port below them. There, standing peacefully as if it had been undisturbed for thousands of years, stood a Prothean beacon. It glowed a gentle green in small ripples running up and down the ancient metal.

Shepard smiled. The job was done. The beacon was theirs. She practically felt like skipping down to it. She always felt unexplainably gleeful at the end of a successful mission. But that would look undignified. So she strolled down, still sweeping the area out of habit though her combat sensor was no longer picking up any other presences. Which meant Saren was gone, but she would go after him later. Right now, she had to secure the beacon. With a smile she turned away from it as Alenko and Williams approached the technology, examining it with wonder.

"Normandy this is Commander Shepard. Beacon is secure and ready for pick up. We are ready to get off this planet…" She half-turned to glance at the beacon and froze.

Alenko was caught in the green cloud. It was as if the beacon had come to life and with its own eerie biotic powers was slowly reeling the lieutenant in. Shepard did not know what would happen if he reached it, but she knew it was not good. The commander registered Williams stepping forward and only one thought entered Shepard's head: _Not again. _Without thinking, Shepard charged, running full tilt at the lieutenant and throwing her body at him like a battering ram. Her biotics flared as she wrapped her arms around him and biotically flung him aside. She felt a brief moment of triumph until the creeping green ensnared her. She cried out, struggling, letting her biotics flare in a futile attempt to escape. The gun at her side was useless; she had lost control of her own body.

Alenko must have tried to run back for her because Shepard heard Williams scream, "No, keep away from it!"

And then she was in the air, like those poor husks without a spike. Her body felt like it was being pulled apart at the seams. Her muscles stretched nearly to their breaking point as the energy flooded her body. And then it wasn't her body anymore. Images and sensations overwhelmed her. Blood, metal, screeching, mechanics, tortured faces, impassive synthetics. Death. Fire. Destruction. It was a hundred times worse than Akuze.

Shepard did the only thing she could.

She screamed.

* * *

**Please leave a review, a question, constructive criticism. Let me know if you have ideas for improvement. Your suggestions and support will make me a better writer and help create a more enjoyable story! Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**All right, we are slowly moving into more creative territory. This will be a Garrus/FemShep story but Shep has to work through some stuff first. I have some interesting twists planned for this story, so I hope you stick with me and enjoy this chapter! See you at the bottom.**

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Ch 3

Did she lose consciousness? Shepard couldn't tell. The images bombarded her, the sounds overwhelmed her. A deep boom like some sinister trumpet, the screeches of the people decimated before her eyes. Panic welled inside her as she fought to separate herself from the images, but it was hard to find herself amidst the frenzy.

_Your name is Marion Shepard, _she chanted to herself. _You are the Executive Officer of the SSV Normandy. You are an Alliance Marine. You are the daughter of Ronald and Hannah Shepard. You have to get your team to safety. _

A different sort of panic broke free at that thought. Alenko and Williams? Were they all right? Different images, very familiar images, came through. It was dark. Shepard hid behind a rock outcropping, panting hard. Men were screaming just past her. She could save them, if she just could use her biotics one more time. She struggled but she was exhausted. "Marion, help me!" someone screamed and Shepard's heart clenched. She was going to fail them…

She tried to move but her limbs felt so heavy.

"Doctor Chakwas! I think she's waking up!" someone said. Shepard reacted to the voice, forced herself to focus on it and let the images, synthetic, organic and remembered alike, fade away.

Her fingers twitched. Ah, that's where they were. Eyelids were next. She felt bruised and weighed down. She swallowed and groaned. Her throat was dry as bone.

Suddenly there was moisture against her lips. She opened them eagerly and let the precious liquid drip in. Shepard swallowed and then remembered where her eyelids were.

She recognized the med bay, though she had not seen it from this angle before. The bed beneath her was uncomfortable though someone had thoughtfully tucked a pillow under her head. The sheets around her were soaked, as were the loose cotton shirt and pants she had been dressed in.

"How are you feeling Commander?" Doctor Chakwas moved into view, her omni-tool lit up.

Shepard gingerly sat up, the doctor's hand on her back. "Like a piece of ancient technology tried to shred me," she replied, her voice gravelly. "Are Alenko and Williams safe?"

"We made it back just fine Commander." Alenko stepped out of the shadows, relief in his eyes. "I carried you back to the ship."

"Remind me to return the favor sometime," Shepard responded wryly, earning a small smile from the lieutenant. "What about the beacon?"

"Destroyed unfortunately," said Alenko. "It's my fault, I never should have gotten so close to it until the Alliance could properly examine it. You managed to throw me out of the way but then you got caught in some kind of field. After it lifted you up this shock seemed to pass through your body and then it exploded. You were thrown back a good ten feet at least."

It was the longest speech Shepard had ever heard from Alenko, a rambling explanation filled with remorse. Shepard hung her head, barely able to process his emotions in the grip of her own. Overconfident and careless, that's what she had been. It had been her responsibility to get the beacon, to impress Nihlus and earn a spot as a Spectre. It would have been a big step for humanity. Her father would have been proud. All of it was gone now: Nihlus, the beacon, becoming a Spectre.

Still, the needs of her team came first. "You didn't know what was going to happen," she said, looking up at Alenko. "The report from the archaeologists never mentioned a field or anything like what we experienced. It was not your fault." She got a ghost of a grateful smile for that.

"I thought the bump on your head had knocked you unconscious," the doctor continued, gesturing to the back of Shepard's head. "But you've been under for most of the day. Something else happened. Your brain activity has been off the charts."

"That explains the massive headache," said Shepard. In an instant, Chakwas had a pill and water in hand. Shepard gulped it down and sighed as the relief to the pain, if not the guilt, came almost instantaneously.

"Can you tell us what happened Commander?" asked Chakwas.

"I'd like to hear that myself," said Anderson as he entered the med bay.

Shepard tried to jump to attention with Alenko but her ribs protested the movement and she winced. She settled for a respectful "Captain" instead.

"How's the commander doing?" he asked the doctor.

"Physically fine. But her brain activity was…unusual."

Shepard did not appreciate the three pairs of eyes that turned to look at her, but she kept her focus on the Captain to give her report. "I can only assume it was from the beacon Captain," she said. "I had…some kind of vision." Shepard shook her head, crossing her arms as some of the images threatened to rear their heads. "Synthetics of some kind attacking organics. Wiping them out. It was horrible to see." She swallowed and made her finish her report. "But they did not look like geth. Something was different but it was hard to tell. They came and went so quickly."

"Protheans perhaps?" Anderson said.

"I wouldn't know sir." Shepard rubbed a hand over her face. "I just wish we could have kept the beacon intact. I'm sorry sir."

Anderson shook his head. "Commander we walked into the unknown. The attack on Eden Prime came from nowhere. It should have been a routine pick-up…"

"And I should have been able to adapt to that situation! Sir," she added belatedly, frustration coloring her voice.

"From what Alenko and Williams told me, you saved that colony Commander. Stopped those charges, confirmed the enemy as geth, and Saren…" The captain paused and glanced around. "I'd like to speak with the Commander privately for a moment."

Alenko saluted and left, with a quick worried glance at the Commander. Chakwas eyed Anderson, plainly displeased. "Take it easy Captain. It's been a long night for Shepard and she needs rest."

"Noted Doctor." When the room was clear, Anderson stepped closer, leaning against the bed opposite and crossing his arms. "You know the Council is going to have questions. Nihlus is dead, the beacon destroyed, the geth are apparently invading. They are going to grill you about this mission."

"They can't do worse than what I'm already doing to myself," she muttered.

"You'd be surprised," he responded dryly. "But we need to discuss Saren, the other turian Spectre apparently on the scene. He's very good at what he does. Brutal but efficient. If he is working with the geth however, he's tipped the scales to brutal. It would seem he's gone rogue. And with his resources and hatred of humans, he has become a deadly storm for us."

Shepard frowned. "Captain, I am not the biggest fan of turians, but I would never go attack a colony. If Saren is as good as you say he is, he wouldn't be this straightforward in an attack on the Alliance. He would be much more subtle. He went to Eden Prime for that beacon. Our colony was just in the way."

"It's true he did not take the beacon with him when he left. So he already got what he wanted from it." Anderson was pacing up and down the med bay now, deep in thought. Shepard continued to lean happily against her bed. Her legs were still feeling wobbly, though she would never admit it.

"Do you think he saw the same images I did?" she asked.

"It seems likely. Though why he would want such things in his head is beyond me," replied Anderson. "Perhaps he got something more from it. Plans for a weapon, whatever it was you saw destroying people. If he has that knowledge, he could use it against humanity. And he won't stop until he's achieved his goal."

"If he's a threat then we have to take him out Captain," said Shepard firmly.

He shook his head at her. "It's not that easy Shepard," he said. "Saren is a Spectre and has all the authority that that implies. He can do anything, go anywhere. We'll have to turn the Council against him if we are even going to have a chance."

Shepard smiled darkly. "So we prove he's gone rogue."

* * *

Shepard left the med bay some twenty minutes later, dressed in clean fatigues, her head spinning. A traitor Spectre? Not that Shepard felt turians needed much of a motive to cause trouble, but nothing made sense. Saren hated humans so he had enlisted the geth to go after colonies? It hardly seemed like the well thought out strategy of a proven warrior. The beacon was at the center of all of this, though she could not understand why Saren would willingly seek out such horrific images.

Caught up in her thoughts, she nearly walked into Alenko by the elevator. He caught her by the elbow, murmuring apologies. "We really have to stop meeting like this," joked Shepard.

"I don't mind it," said Alenko, who almost instantly blushed.

Shepard pushed the button and shoved her hands in her pockets, suddenly inexplicably nervous. "Thanks for hauling my useless ass back to the ship," she blurted out.

Alenko gave a startled chuckle. "Not a problem Commander."

"You can call me Shepard you know. I only use the title to intimidate the likes of Jenkins…" Shepard cut herself off, suddenly remembering the young lieutenant, now gone. Another failure.

The elevator opened and Alenko followed her in, not paying attention to where Shepard was heading. "That wasn't your fault," he said, watching her intently. Shepard glared at the elevator doors. "You did everything right."

"Then why are Jenkins and Nihlus dead?" she said harshly.

"Because sometimes the mission demands the ultimate sacrifice," replied Alenko. Shepard looked up to see him, looking utterly sincere and calm. "We are soldiers. We have a job to do. And we're well trained sure, but we aren't psychic. We can't know what's around the next corner. We take that risk whenever we suit up. Nihlus was betrayed by one of his own; Jenkins was hit by the unexpected. Taking blame for the hands of fate will only distract you from the next mission."

The elevator came to a halt and Shepard stepped out, looking back at the lieutenant. "Have some training in psych Alenko?" she asked.

He held the doors open and shook his head, looking amused. "I'm sure my mom would have preferred it but my dad and I are Alliance through and through. I just try to spread her wisdom where I can."

"Well thanks for that," said Shepard. "It actually…helped."

"Any time Shepard." He nodded and stepped back, letting the elevator carry him back up.

Shepard turned around to face the cargo bay. A few soldiers were scattered around, modifying weapons, getting supplies. But Shepard moved past them, heading for the two simple capsules lying apart from the bustle.

Jenkins and Nihlus lay side by side, made equal comrades in death. The insignia of the turian military covered Nihlus while Alliance blue marked the young soldier. Shepard sighed as she placed a hand on his capsule, her shoulders slumped under the burden she could not seem to escape. She was a survivor. It was a blessing and a curse. All around her, people seemed to die. She continued on.

Shepard slumped down to sit between the two capsules, leaning against Jenkins with her hands between her knees. "I'm sorry about what happened, Jenkins," she whispered. "Eden Prime was your home and it was destroyed. We…_I _should have scouted the area better, been better prepared. Anderson wants to see me become a Spectre," Shepard scoffed. "A Spectre would have seen what was coming, would have protected her team. You are, were, so young. Brash and overexcited but…" She swallowed the large lump in her throat. "It was my job to keep my team safe and I failed you. And Nihlus…"

She looked up at the larger capsule holding the fallen Spectre. "You were an ass, and a turian, and the person who decided to put me forward for this ridiculous candidacy. What were you thinking?" It was not the most respectful thing she'd ever done, but Shepard kicked his metal coffin, frustrated and angry. If other soldiers in the cargo bay noticed, Shepard paid no attention, all her guilt and irritation focused on the fallen figure in front of her. "What the fuck were you thinking? I'm not ready for that! This whole mission went to hell, again! But you had to go off on your own. Hard to evaluate me when you're not there, dumbass!" She kicked the capsule again and then leaned back against Jenkins, blinking back the hot liquid crowding her eyes.

"I'll do better. For Jenkins, for dad, for Miles and Callie and Dee. And for you Nihlus. Even if you are a turian."

* * *

Watching the Citadel appear through the clouds of gas, shining in the light of the nearest star, was a fulfillment of every dream Shepard had had as a child. She had traveled from ship to ship, station to station. You would think she would be used to seeing hunks of metal floating in an endless night.

But the Citadel took her breath away every time. Ashley Williams' reaction to her first view of the station ("Holy hell, look at the size of that thing!) followed by a whispered prayer and wide (if somewhat red) eyes only made Shepard smile wider. The small team stood behind Joker as he guided the Normandy to her berth. They moved seamlessly amongst countless ships: the graceful forms of the asari, the angular ships of the turians, a bulky volus trading vessel. This was the hub of the galaxy in all its overwhelming glory.

The ground team followed Anderson to the embassy for their report. Shepard felt her professional mask slip firmly into place. And it was a good thing she did. Because she had never wanted to hit a superior as much as she wanted to deck Ambassador Udina.

The man oozed wealth and education and pretentiousness. He barely nodded at the captain, looked Shepard up and down as if he could sense she was a spacer brat and not some educated earthborn. Alenko and Williams weren't even acknowledged. With his receding hairline, pressed white suit and pants, Shepard immediately wanted to take a swing at him, just to see if it were even possible to dirty such a pristine appearance.

The Council seemed to be doing their best to make Udina lose it without Shepard's help. He was screaming at the projected images of the councilors about their lack of response to the attack on Eden Prime.

"The Alliance knew the risks when they chose to establish colonies on the borders of the Terminus Systems, Ambassador," said the salarian councilor calmly, the hood of his tunic hiding the head appendages that reminded Shepard of blunt pincers.

"And what about Saren? Your pet Spectre has gone rogue and I want to see him held accountable!" Udina raged.

"Don't push us Ambassador," growled the turian councilor, the black and white markings on his face making him appear angrier than normal.

The asari intervened then, her voice imitating her mellow blue skin. "We have Citadel Security investigating these claims. We will then evaluate the evidence later this afternoon with a hearing. At the moment that is all we can do." With a bow of her crested head, the holographic images disappeared.

Udina turned slowly to the team from the Normandy, disgust in every line of his body. "You always seem to drag unwanted trouble in front of me Anderson," Udina said in a cultured and disdainful voice that made Shepard's fists clench from pure irritation.

"It's a good thing you're good at cleaning up then Udina," responded Anderson without faltering. Shepard smirked and caught Alenko hiding a laugh in a cough. "At least you got them to give us an audience."

"It took some persuasion. They don't like to hear that their top Spectre could be causing trouble." He glanced at Shepard as he said this but she stood at ease, meeting his gaze blandly. "I assume the mission reports are accurate?" he said, turning back to Anderson.

"They are. Saren was attempting to blow that colony to kingdom come once he got what he wanted from that beacon."

"Shame we don't have it to analyze now," said Udina, now glaring at Shepard. "Apparently a simple pick-up was too much for the commander to handle. Are we sure _she's _who want nominated for the Spectres? Especially after Akuze."

Shepard felt her blood boil. She knew she hadn't earned that nomination, not after Eden Prime, but she would be damned if this slick bastard was going to blame it on that tragedy. "At least I don't sit on my hands behind a desk while others do the real work," she shot back, her blue gray eyes flaring. "If Saren was behind this attack, then I will stop him. _I _won't let anymore colonies get hit."

"Keep the commander on a leash Captain," snarled Udina. "It's hard enough to deal with the Council as it is without Shepard mucking things up even more."

Shepard opened her mouth again but the captain shook his head. She reluctantly settled back into an at ease position, glaring daggers at the ambassador.

"We better hope C-Sec comes up with something against Saren or else our chances of getting a human Spectre will be back down to nothing," muttered Udina. "Come along Captain, we have prep to do before the hearing. Shepard, you and your team are expected at the Citadel Tower in three hours for the audience. I hope you will be able to rein your temper in by then." With that, he and Anderson left the office, leaving the fuming ground team behind.

"Well, I could use a drink after that," said Alenko. "Williams, Shepard you want to join me?"

Williams nodded. If she was looking to drown the ghosts of her fallen unit, she didn't say. But Shepard shook her head. "Nah, I'm good. I'll meet you at the Citadel Tower before the hearing. I've got something I want to do first."

And that was how Shepard found herself in the theater district of the Citadel, a ballcap over her black locks as she settled in to watch a mixed race performance of _Richard III_. "Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York," spoke the asari playing the title character. Shepard shrugged. She supposed there were stranger things than a monogendered alien who looked female playing a male role in a human play…but she was having trouble coming up with examples. Still, for a few hours, she let herself get lost in the rhythm of old words and deep truths that always made her think of home.

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**Quoted lines are from William Shakespeare's **_**Richard III **_**Act I, Scene I, lines 1-2. Next chapter, we finally meet Garrus. Please leave a review, a comment, a question or suggestions. Your input will help make this story better!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Back again. Here we finally meet Garrus. As I am writing I am getting more and more ideas for the direction this story is going to go. It really is true: the characters tell you about where they've been, who they are, and what is going to happen next! So this story is going to become more and more original and move further away from canon the further we get. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 4

Walking out of the theatre, Shepard tightened her ball cap, her sense of peace recalibrated. Grief and frustration still lingered but those words had woven their way through her soul again. It was an experience she shared with no one, a Shepard family secret. She would have been mocked to kingdom come in training and beyond if anyone knew about this.

Shepard blamed her distraction on the memories flooding her brain. Otherwise she would have seen the two men following her through the crowd. As it was, she did not notice her tail until she turned down an alley she knew to be a cut through. Her intuition flared as the noise from the crowd died away. She slowed her step, listening closely. Her tail slowed as well. She paused then, pulling off her worn Bruins hat, a leftover from the days of traditional ice hockey, using it as an excuse to glance around. There were two men, dressed plainly, clearly hiding sidearms. Shepard looked up and her blue eyes narrowed. A third man was now walking toward her purposefully. She was being herded.

Shepard surveyed the area, making sure that no civilians had followed them. Luckily the alley was empty. The odds didn't concern Shepard. Figuring out why these men had followed her did.

She leaned back against the wall, one foot braced against it as she crossed her arms. This conveniently hid her movement as she reached to flick off the safety on her pistol. "Afternoon gentlemen," she called out seemingly unconcerned. "Something I can help you with?"

"Commander," nodded the one in front, an older scarred man with shock white hair, tan face and deep lines. He looked fit however and his confidence had Shepard on edge, though she tried not to let it show. "You have some information our employer would like to obtain."

"Oh?" she asked with a scarred brow arched. "And who might that be?"

The man shook his head. "Our employer prefers a certain amount of anonymity. You understand I'm sure. But he's willing to pay handsomely for it if you could be of assistance."

"I'm going to need some more specifics," Shepard said dryly, her eyes focused on the man in front of her, though she kept the other two in her peripheral vision.

"Eden Prime. Rumor has it a Prothean beacon was unearthed and that you interacted with it. My employer would be very interested in what you might have seen or heard. Like I said, we can pay handsomely for the information."

"Or you and your friends will try and take it by force?" Shepard nodded at the other two men.

"These men are just here to make sure our negotiations don't get out of hand. Your reputation, and your temper," he added with a smirk, "are well-known. But there's no need to go in that direction. Tell me what you learned, I'll pay you, and we will go our separate ways."

"And what if I choose to walk past you without another word?" she asked. "Would you assault an Alliance officer?"

"Of course not Commander," said the man contritely. "You would be free to go. But my employer can be…persistant. We might just approach at a less convenient time, and much less politely."

"I think I'll just have to take that chance," responded Shepard, pushing away from the wall. "You gentlemen have a good day. And remind your employer that if he knows anything about me, I don't sell Alliance secrets and don't take kindly to the proposition." With that she brushed past him, hand held by her sidearm.

The man watched her go, eyes narrowed. "I'll pass your regards on to the Illusive Man," he called from behind her.

Shepard turned at that, but the men were gone. Perplexed, she headed to a cab stand to catch a ride to the Citadel Tower, turning that name over and over in her head.

* * *

Alenko and Williams were waiting for her at the entrance to the Tower. Alenko nodded at her with a quiet "ma'am." But it was Williams whose eyes suddenly sharpened, picking up on something in the Commander's face. "Something the matter Shepard?" she asked, brow furrowed.

Shepard was impressed by her perceptiveness but shook her head. "Another time Williams. Let's go deal with the Council for now."

The long elevator ride up was uneventful, thankfully, giving Shepard time to gather her thoughts about what had happened on Eden Prime and how to present it professionally to the Council. There could be no sign of her own emotions at how events played out. She needed to relay the events as coldly as possible, if only to get the Council to understand what had happened and see that it was not influenced by her own bias. There was something wrong with the whole situation and she was determined to make the puzzle pieces align.

Later Shepard would wish that the next few moments had been burned into her brain, never to be forgotten. But at that moment, it was just one more encounter in a day chock full of them. As they stepped off the elevator, the trio almost walked straight into a pair of C-Sec turian officers arguing in increasingly raised voices by the stairs. Their voices carried in the softly lit space, broken up by sculpted gardens and water fountains. The political elite wandered almost the branches, some glaring at the arguing pair.

"Saren's hiding something, I know it!" shouted one turian, pointing a finger at his superior officer. "All this red tape is making it impossible, _again, _to effectively go after him!"

"You have no proof Garrus," said the other turian, his voice stern as he drew himself up to his full height. "We have to follow the law. Damnit, we _are _the law. Be suspicious all you want but until you find me some hard evidence, _by legal means_, this conversation is over."

"But sir, I heard through my sources that Saren has been accompanying geth out of the Veil. Geth! Spectre or not, something is wrong…"

"And until we have hard evidence and not hearsay, your investigation is over! I expect to see you at your post within the hour Garrus." And with that, the older turian swept past his subordinate and the Alliance soldiers.

Shepard eyed the one named Garrus for a moment. He was taller than her by several inches, with a long body and legs supporting a sturdy torso. His face plates were dark grey in coloring, while blue markings on his face outlined his features. His mandibles twitched in irritation and his talons clenched in fury. His visor partially covered one eye but Shepard could see that the blue color was darkened with anger. With his partially lifted upper lip, his pointed upper teeth only emphasized the vision of contained wrath in front of her. She felt an uncomfortable ripple as she recognized his pose as one she had held many times. But only one thought kept running through her mind: this turian had something on Saren. That was enough for her.

She marched forward as the turian started to head back to the elevator. "Hey you! Garrus!" she halted in front of him and forced him to stop. He looked down at her, startled.

"Do I know you?" he asked.

"Not yet, but I think you'll want to and I don't say that to many turians," Shepard said with a dark grin.

His mandibles flapped in surprise and he crossed his arms. "Who are you?" he asked after a moment.

_The enemy of my enemy is my friend_, Shepard said to herself. And so she stuck out her hand, though it almost killed her to do it. "Commander Marion Shepard, Alliance Navy," she said. The turian placed his hand slowly in hers, his blue eyes meeting hers with surprise. "I was part of the team on Eden Prime."

"She led the team on Eden Prime," Alenko corrected, stepping forward. "Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko," he introduced himself.

"And Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, formerly of the 212," Williams stated, her tone somewhat reluctant.

"Eden Prime you say?" the turian repeated, a slow smile spreading across his face. He looked back at Shepard. "Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security. I've been investigating Saren Arterius for months and every time I think I have something on him, the evidence…or my witness…disappears. I was in charge of this latest investigation. He's a Spectre, he can do anything he wants, everything is classified, but I know he's corrupt." Garrus slammed his fist into his hand for good measure.

"Sounds like you want this son of a bitch nearly as much as I do. Perhaps we can help each other out," said Shepard. "We're heading to a meeting with the Council to discuss Eden Prime but any information you might have could be of help."

"I'm getting stonewalled in every direction," he said, throwing his hands up. "But if I get anything tangible that could be of use, I'll track you down. I have a lead I'm going to follow this afternoon. Maybe something will come of that."

"I thought you were supposed to return to your post," Williams said with veiled hostility.

The turian just grinned at her. "I've never been one to follow orders to the letter," he replied. He glanced back at Shepard. "I'm sure I'll see you around Commander." She nodded and he moved past her as Anderson rushed over.

"Commander, the hearing's about to start! Let's go."

* * *

If the Council was good for anything, it was distracting Shepard from her own troubles. The holographic image of Saren towered over them as the Council debated with Udina over Saren's involvement at the fiasco of Eden Prime. Shepard glared up at the traitor Spectre, his appearance doing nothing to assuage her suspicions. Tall for a turian, grey in color with white markings on his face, his jaw appeared to have been reconstructed. His crest and mandibles made his face formidable looking.

"I'm having difficulty seeing how you have connected Saren to this geth attack on Eden Prime," said the asari councilor. "The geth seem to be the bigger problem, from which we are getting distracted."

"C-Sec has turned up nothing to support these allegations," said the turian councilor dismissively.

"Maybe we should call back Officer Vakarian, just to be sure," muttered Shepard under her breath. Anderson shot her a glance but said nothing.

"That dockworker placed Saren at the scene! Saw Saren shoot Nihlus in cold blood!" argued Udina.

But the salarian councilor shook his head. "The reports cannot be corroborated. It's he said, she said," he stated simply. "The wounds to the body were consistent with a standard pistol, the same type that Commander Shepard carries."

She stepped forward at that, her face red. "Are you accusing me?" she spluttered out. Anderson reached out and pulled her back into line.

"Just pointing out that there is reasonable doubt regarding the death of Nihlus," answered the salarian coolly.

"I am as offended by these allegations as the human commander," said Saren then, his voice impassive. "Nihlus was a friend and a fellow Spectre. Why would I have any reason to kill him?"

"First of all, do not compare yourself to me," spat Shepard. "And second, you may have the Council wrapped around your talons but I am not fooled. Your 'friendship' with Nihlus would have made it very easy to take advantage of the situation. He let his guard down because he trusted you, and you killed him for it."

Saren scoffed at that, waving a clawed hand in derision. "This all reads like bitterness to me," he replied. "First there's Captain Anderson, who always seems to be involved in cases against me. And now his newest sidekick Commander Shepard, stinging over the loss of a valuable beacon, is ramping up the accusations. And you want to accept her as a Spectre? This _human_ is not ready to join our ranks. We can't expect them to be ready for the challenge."

Shepard clenched her jaw, fury coursing through her. "You can expect me to kill you when we finally meet face to face," she said quietly. "I don't deal well with traitors."

"The kind of violent response I would expect from your kind," Saren responded, his tone sly. Shepard realized she had been goaded and forced her mouth shut.

Udina bristled at the exchange. "Her candidacy is none of your concern!" he said loudly, pointing a finger at the holographic image. "That is for the Council to decide!"

"Peace Ambassador," said the asari councilor. "Shepard's candidacy is not under consideration here."

"Though her actions on Eden Prime will weigh on that decision," added the turian councilor. Shepard felt her cheeks darken with shame but she refused to remove her glare from the image of Saren. He looked…smug, confident. How could the councilors not see that something was wrong? Shepard's whole being was screaming a warning. She knew she had little proof and was putting a lot of faith in one dockworker's testimony. But it was such a strange and specific name for him to point out. Nihlus never would have let his guard down around a known enemy, not in hostile territory. And that Vakarian had heard reports that Saren was moving around with the geth, and she had seen plenty of geth on Eden Prime.

"Then let's discuss some of those actions," continued Anderson, stepping forward. "The vision that she experienced coming into contact with the beacon. It was a warning. Synthetics murdering organics."

Shepard watched Saren carefully and noticed that he seemed to perk up at the mention of her vision. His eyes narrowed to examine Shepard but when he turned to the Council, the mask of cool authority was back in place. "If we're using visions and dreams as evidence, I had an interesting one last night about a human with a grudge against turians. Perhaps I should recount that as well."

"Judgments must be based on facts or hard evidence." The turian councilor stepped back, physically signaling the end of the conversation.

"Is there anything else we should know Commander?" asked the salarian councilor.

Shepard just met the gaze of each councilor and then Saren. She opened her mouth to say something but then paused. Instead she crossed her arms and stared the Council down, waiting. They weren't going to listen and if she kept her mouth shut she would hopefully avoid antagonizing them further. Because now that she knew the Council was going to be useless in going after Saren, Shepard suddenly felt a heartpounding desire to be a Spectre, just so she could legally slam his face into the mud.

The councilors did not appear disconcerted by her silecne. Instead they proclaimed Saren's innocence and called an end to the hearing. Shepard was already marching away, cursing under her breath. She hoped Vakarian was having more luck than she was.

"Commander, wait!" called Anderson, following her down the ramp. "We might have some more options."

"What did Saren mean about you being involved in accusations against him?" she asked, spinning around. "I feel like I just walked into an ambush."

"Now is not the time," dismissed Anderson. "All you need to know is that I've seen how Saren operates. He's brutal and cruel and as a rogue Spectre, he could cause incalculable damage to humanity."

"I still don't think this is a vendetta against humanity, sir," Shepard added belatedly. "We're missing something important, a deeper motivation."

"We need to expose him," said Udina, catching up to the group. "Find evidence the Council can't ignore."

Alenko spoke up. "There was that C-Sec officer, Garrus Vakarian. He said he was tracking down a lead this afternoon. Might be worth checking in with him."

Though Shepard knew Alenko was giving good advice, knew that the officer was gathering information on Saren, she still balked at the idea. "He's a turian. How do we know he's not working with Saren?"

Alenko frowned at her. "I would have expected someone who's seen as much of the galaxy as you have to be less prejudicial," he commented, his brown gaze direct.

She shot him a death glare but chose not to say anything else. "If this officer can give us information, he's worth talking to," added Udina, deep in thought. "I have a contact in C-Sec who could point us in his direction."

* * *

That was how Shepard found herself in a seedy little bar named Chora's Den, brushing past drunks and strippers to throw a tipsy and handsy suspended C-Sec officer against a wall. "If you touch my ass again, remember the feeling, because I can guarantee you won't feel anything again," she snarled.

It took a while, but eventually they got out of Harkins' drunken ramblings that Vakarian had gone to talk to a young doctor in the Wards who supposedly had some information on Saren. Shepard dropped him back into his chair and stormed out, almost crashing into an angry krogan threatening some guy named Fist. The resemblance to an old-fashioned tank, coupled with the temper of a rhinoceros, made Shepard wary of the weathered krogan. His red eyes followed them as they passed.

"Can we try to avoid the angry krogan?" begged Williams.

"Yeah, I don't feel like getting checked into a wall," added Alenko.

Shepard perked up at that as they headed for a taxi stand. "Checked huh? Do you know hockey Alenko?"

"I'm Canadian Shepard," he said dryly. "You are either a passionate fan or you avoid the sport at all cost. I'm the former kind of Canadian. My dad follows the Canucks still."

"Well at least you're not from Montreal," quipped Shepard. She pulled out the Bruins cap that was tucked into her utility belt with a grin. "Then we might have a problem."

"I thought you were a spacer kid," he said as Williams hailed down a cab.

Shepard shrugged. "Boston follows you throughout the universe," she replied. "My mom followed all the games as she moved from station to station."

Alenko grinned. "I guess we really do learn something new every day," he laughed. Williams just rolled her eyes as she got into the back of the cab. "When you want to talk about a more modern sport, let me know," she said as the cab sped up into the air and off toward the Wards.

Suddenly their cab rocked and the soldiers were thrown against the side. "What the hell was that?" shouted Williams, looking wildly around.

Shepard had her pistol out while the driver shouted curses and tried to right the craft. "There!" she yelled, pointing off to their left. A second cab was moving toward them, intending to ram again. Then she saw the weapons. "Everybody get down!" She pulled the driver down as gunfire ripped through the glass, showering all of them.

When there was a break, Shepard turned to her window and kicked it out. "Shepard, what are you doing?" said Alenko, reaching out to grab her. She avoided his reach and climbed out onto the roof. "Hold the cab steady so I can get these bastards!" she yelled back.

As the cab came closer, she flattened herself along the roof of the cab, took aim and fired. The first shot shattered their glass; the second hit the driver. The cab immediately began to drop, but not before Shepard noticed that there were three turians in the car, all with the same white markings as Saren. It was too strange a coincidence. She watched as the cab dropped and crashed into a storefront, trying to process what had just happened. Within a few seconds she had thrown herself back into the cab.

"That was impressive Commander!" Williams started to yell, but Shepard was gesturing wildly at the cab driver. "We need to get to that clinic now!" she shouted. "Those were Saren's assassins!" she yelled back at her team. "And if they knew where we were, then others probably knew where we were going. That damn turian is walking into a trap!"

* * *

**Please leave a review! Let me know if you have suggestions, comments, questions. They are great encouragement! Next up we'll see some more Garrus, an angry krogan, and a flashback to Shepard's past.**


	5. Chapter 5

**And the slow reveal continues. We learn a little bit more about Shepard's past and the team has a really long day on the Citadel.**

* * *

Chapter 5

Shepard approached the clinic, Alenko and Williams at her six. Her pistol out, Shepard put her back to the wall and signaled Alenko to take the left side. Once in position, the commander put her ear against the door. From inside she could hear the sound of raised voices, a woman's shriek. But no hint of the subharmonics of the turian's voice or sign of his presence. Shepard nodded at her team and raised three fingers, counting down in a signal. Then she slammed the door open.

Alenko burst through, surrounded by a biotic barrier. Shepard and Williams followed, pistol and assault rifle pointed. A young doctor with a shock of red hair screamed as one thug pulled her against him, pistol pointed at her side. He used her as a shield as the soldiers approached steadily.

"This is none of your business," he snarled at Alenko. "The doctor and I are just having a nice chat about what information is appropriate to share and what is not." He jabbed the pistol at her and she winced, tears running down her face.

"I swear, I didn't tell Garrus anything!" she cried. "Tell Fist, tell him I said nothing!"

"That name keeps popping up," commented Shepard, her pistol trained on the leader while Alenko and Williams eyed the four other men. "Why don't you let the doctor go and we can continue this conversation without her?"

"Who do you think you are?" asked the man in disbelief. "You don't want to mess with Fist."

"I'm Commander Shepard of the Alliance and I will end you if you do not release the doctor. Now," growled Shepard.

"I will end you regardless," added a resonating voice behind her. A sniper shot hit the man square between the eyes and he dropped, as the doctor screamed again and crumbled to the floor.

Shepard barely glanced at Vakarian as he came in behind her, focusing on the other men. Alenko grabbed one with his biotics and threw him against the wall, stunning him. Williams finished him as Shepard charged toward another man, firing as she moved. He ducked her first shot, then was struck in the leg and chest. He went down as Vakarian stepped into place beside her, lining up another shot. The last one hid behind a storage cabinet. Shepard knelt next to the doctor, checking her vitals. Strong; she had just fainted.

"Who is this Fist?" she shouted back to the last man. "What does he want?"

"He works for the Shadow Broker," he yelled. "I'll tell you what he wants if you let me go."

"Throw out your gun first," she commanded.

There was a pause and then the gun came out. "Now you!" she ordered next.

Slowly, the man came out, eyes wide, his hands open. Shepard sensed movement and looked to her right, only to see Garrus' talon tightening on the trigger. "No!" Shepard shouted, reaching out with her biotics on instinct. She knocked the turian to the side, making his shot go wide. "Alenko, secure him!" she shouted, gesturing at the unarmed man. In another second, she was on Garrus, fury at the situation and at having to use her biotics making her snap. She shoved him, hard, making him stagger backwards. "What the hell are you doing?" she yelled.

"He attacked an innocent civilian, I was getting rid of a threat!" he growled, the deep tones of his subvocals resonated through Shepard's infuriated body.

She shoved him again. "I told him to come out, unarmed, which he did! This was my call, how dare you…"

"Your call?" he repeated in disbelief. "I've been tracking Saren for months, following this investigation for months! I'm not going to let some upstart soldier destroy what I've done!" And with that, he shoved her back, making her stumble.

Alenko and Williams had been watching open mouthed as the lieutenant cuffed the prisoner while Williams tended to the doctor. And for a moment, Shepard was just as frozen. No one had challenged her authority on a mission since her rescue of a merchant ship downed on Wuo in the Gorgon system, an irradiated wasteland where a nervous rookie had panicked and thrown a push at his commander.

That hadn't ended well, and this was about to go the same way. Shepard's blue grey eyes turned to a sparking stone and her fists lit up with biotic blue. The turian did not appear cowed; if anything, he gathered himself to stand even taller and glared down at her. When Shepard began to take a step, Alenko lunged forward, coming between the combatants.

"All right Commander, let him go," he said, his voice steady and solid. He held up his hands, both to placate and to block the violent action that seemed imminent from his superior's stance. "We have a job to do. You can rip his ass apart later," he added quietly, his mouth quirking up in an attempt to hide a grin. Shepard's jaw clenched and though her eyes did not leave Vakarian's, she did nod briefly. The blue cloud of her biotics faded away and her stomach roiled as she realized how often she had let that damn power take control recently. She had managed to avoid it for years but the last couple of days had thrown her self-control for a loop, thanks to Alenko and now Vakarian.

The glare hadn't faded from her eyes when she turned to look at the now conscious doctor standing next to Williams, who flinched from her. Shepard closed her eyes and swallowed, trying to bring a more pleasant look to her face even as turning her back on the turian made her prickly. "Are you all right doctor?"

"Yes, thank you Commander, I'm fine," the woman said in a heavy French accent, her voice breathless.

"What's your name doc and what did we just walk into?" Shepard asked as she put her weapons away.

"Doctor Chloe Michel. I've been paying protection money to Fist since I opened my clinic but this wasn't about that. His thugs wanted to shut me up. They didn't want me talking about Saren."

Shepard turned to Alenko's prisoner. "Is this true?" she asked. He just kept looking at the floor but he gave a reluctant nod.

"So you do have something on Saren," said Vakarian, speaking up from behind.

Dr. Michel nodded. "Somewhat indirectly, but yes. A few days ago I treated a young quarian who had been shot. She was scared and I felt bad for her so I did not report it to C-Sec." Garrus' mandibles flapped but he stayed silent. "She wanted to know how to get in touch with the Shadow Broker, said she had information to trade with him in exchange for safety, information about a Spectre. I gave her Fist's contact information; he's one of the Broker's agents."

"Not anymore I'm afraid." Vakarian's grim tone made Shepard turn her attention to him. "I've linked Fist to Saren. He's not passing information to the Broker anymore, it's all going to Saren."

"_Merde_," the doctor cursed. "So I could have sent her into danger?"

"You didn't know," said Williams, patting her on the shoulder. "If she's in danger and has information on Saren, we'll protect her, right Shepard?"

The commander nodded. "That krogan in Chora's Den wanted to see Fist," she mused. "Perhaps he could be our way in so we can find out how to pick up this quarian."

"Geth!" the doctor suddenly shouted. The marines looked around wildly, weapons suddenly in hand but Dr. Michel shook her head. "No, no, her information had something to do with the geth."

Shepard grinned as she holstered her pistol. "If she can link Saren to the geth then we'll have something to shove in the Council's faces," she said with glee. She caught Vakarian's eye for a moment but then looked away, remembering that she was mad with the C-Sec officer.

"I can bring this krogan in, he's been making trouble on the Citadel," offered Garrus. "Urdnot Wrex, a weathered merc but he's smart."

"Think you can bring him in without shooting him?" Shepard asked under her breath. Vakarian ignored her.

"It might take me an hour or two to have C-Sec track him down. I'll message you when he's at headquarters."

"Fine. Alenko, go with Vakarian and take the scum with you. Want to make sure he gets there in one piece," ordered Shepard. The lieutenant nodded but Garrus bristled.

"I'm perfectly capable of bringing in one prisoner!" he said outraged.

"Well maybe if you hadn't tried to shoot him when he was unarmed, I'd feel a little more confident!" snapped Shepard. "Bring in that krogan and then we can talk about your competency!"

The turian seemed to be grinding his teeth but he gestured at Alenko and headed out. "I'll join you once this one's in official custody," said Alenko as he marched the prisoner toward the door. "Let me know if you need me Commander."

"Will do. And good work today lieutenant," she added. He smiled and continued.

Shepard sighed, letting the adrenaline work its way out her body. Then she turned to the doctor, a true gentle smile on her face. "Let's get you something to eat and drink," Shepard said, leading the doctor out of her destroyed clinic. "Everything looks better after a good meal and a strong cup of tea."

* * *

While Vakarian supposedly tracked down the krogan, Shepard and Williams went in search of food. Alenko joined them in time to eat at a tiny café near the Wards that served an assortment of interspecies cuisine. The commander dove for a barbeque chicken pizza, making Alenko and Williams laugh at her voracious appetite. Alenko was somewhat more conservative with a turkey club, though he loaded it with so much bacon and a large side of fries that Williams teased him about keeping his girlish figure. Shepard snorted some soda up her nose; it was nice for a few moments to relax, particularly after her unpleasant encounter with Vakarian.

Urdnot Wrex did not seem to be having one of those happy moments in the C-Sec Academy. He looked like the only thing that would make his day better would be to barrel his way through the crowd of C-Sec officers surrounding him. He was certainly trying to goad them into a fight, but the tense banter died down at Shepard's name. It was one of the few times Shepard was glad her reputation proceeded her. Wrex agreed to work with Shepard to get at Fist, recognizing in her a warrior of status; the Broker had contracted the krogan to take out the errant agent though Shepard hoped it would not come to that. She was still an Alliance officer.

Garrus watched smugly as Shepard rounded up the krogan and Williams to go speak with Fist, sending Alenko to update Anderson and Udina. "Did I do my job this time commander?" he asked.

Reluctantly, Shepard nodded. "Yeah for once it looks like you followed orders," she replied.

"So how about we help each other out," Garrus said, following her. "You want to bring down Saren and so do I. Let me come with you."

Shepard made a scoffing noise that had Williams chuckling behind her. "I don't think so Vakarian. This party's weird enough with Wrex in it, I don't need to throw you in too."

"Come on Shepard, you know I could help!" said Garrus, frustration coloring the different tones of his voice.

Shepard shook her head. "Sorry, you helped us get this far but this is an investigation of an attack on an Alliance colony. I'll handle it from here." With that she stepped into the elevator and waved a mock goodbye. Her last sight of the turian was him cursing under his breath and striding back toward C-Sec.

* * *

Fist clutched his wounded arm and cried like an infant. Shepard sighed, her temper about used up for the day. "Fist, this doesn't have to be hard," she cajoled, leaning back against the desk. "Just tell me where the quarian is, I slap some medigel on there and we deliver you to C-Sec's protective custody."

"I can't! The Broker's already got a price on my head, if he knew I gave out this information I'd be done!"

"You already gave it to Saren you dolt," said Shepard wryly. "I could go find the quarian myself but then I'd have to leave Wrex here," she pointed back at the eager krogan behind her, "and he knows all about that price on your head." The rest of the color left Fist's face. "Or you tell me where she is and this whole mess goes away." Shepard shrugged, seemingly casual even as her heart beat so fast she felt like it was about to burst through her chest. "Your choice!"

"The back alley by the market!" he suddenly shrieked, fear getting the better of him. "The meeting's in ten minutes, she thinks she's meeting with the Broker himself, stupid suit rat! Instead it will be Saren's agents!"

"Hey, don't use that term!" Shepard barked at him. "It offends me almost as much as you do. But luckily I won't have to be in your presence much longer. Williams," she said, turning to her chief, "can you bring this guy to C-Sec and…"

The widening of Williams' eyes was all the warning she had before the sound of a shotgun echoed through the office. Shepard spun, her pistol out with Williams lifting her rifle beside her. Wrex was calmly holstering his shotgun, looking down at the former thug. "Why does everyone keep doing this today?" Shepard said to herself, holding her pistol steady as she watched Wrex.

"Do you want me to take him out Commander?" asked Williams, her voice rock hard.

Wrex laughed. "As if you could human," he grunted. "Now don't we have a quarian to save?"

"He was unarmed and wounded Wrex!" shouted Shepard. "I would be within my rights to shoot you now."

"As much as I would love a showdown, I want to know what information this quarian has got. I was paid to kill Fist, and I finish what I start. Do you know how many people have died because of him?" He waved a large hand in disgust. "This has been coming for a long time and he knew it. Now let's get going." He made to move past the two humans but Shepard held out her arms, managing to stop him in his tracks. Wrex's red eyes met Shepard's, seemingly surprised by her wiry strength.

"You're going to get that showdown. That's a promise," she said quietly. "For now, we have…" She looked him up and down, "bigger problems."

* * *

From her vantage point at the top of the stairs, the quarian looked so small compared to the turian and salarian assassins swirling around her. She seemed to be getting anxious, fidgeting from foot to foot, pushing the turian away when he wandered too close. Encased in her race's signature suits with the head veil that signified a female (as well as the distinctive curves that the suits proudly showed), she stood out even in the darkness of the alley. Shepard had to admire her brass, standing up to these thugs…and then suddenly spinning away, throwing some explosives behind her.

"I'm going to like this one," Shepard muttered to Williams, charging down the alley with a grin.

The thugs were easily taken care of, unprepared to deal with a real threat. The young quarian turned to Shepard, the three fingered hand holding her pistol faintly shaking. Shepard tried to smile reassuringly. This young woman could be the key to everything they had been looking for.

"I'm Commander Shepard with the Alliance," she introduced herself, holding out a hand. The quarian took it slowly. "You seemed to be having some trouble."

"I appreciate your help," she replied warily. "I am Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

"Did you really think you were going to be meeting with the Shadow Broker himself?" Wrex chuckled from the darkness.

The quarian started, pulling her hand away. "How did you know that?" she asked, panicked.

"Woah, woah, take it easy Tali'Zorah," said Shepard, holding up her hands in peace. "We heard you were being set-up, that you had some information you wanted to trade for safety. We can do that for you."

"The Alliance is looking for any information we can find on Saren's corruption," explained Williams. "You could help bring him down."

"And regardless of how helpful your information is, I won't let Saren's thugs come after you again," added Shepard. "We will find somewhere safe for you."

The young quarian's eyes glinted behind the purple tinted glass of her suit. After a moment of silence, she held out a three fingered hand. "You can call me Tali."

* * *

Shepard dropped onto her bunk on the Normandy, mentally and physically exhausted by the day. Though Udina had been a prick about several things: the lateness of the hour (it was 9pm standard time, an early night in Shepard's opinion), involving a quarian, the various fights Shepard had been in throughout the Citadel, and Tali's evidence in general, taken from the memory core of a geth. Though he was suspicious of some of the recording, it did prove Saren's involvement with the geth, Eden Prime, and the search for something called the Conduit. Shepard felt her blood boil just remembering that smug traitor call Eden Prime a victory. All she could see were the poor souls pierced high above her, returning to earth as some sort of horrible synthetic zombie.

And then the asari voice, Matriarch Benezia, talking about the return of the Reapers. Udina had gotten in touch with the Council and they had granted an audience first thing in the morning. For now, Shepard could rest. This whole thing about Reapers sounded like ancient human legends, little fact to back up the fiction. An advanced machine race that existed 50,000 years ago, wiped out the entire Prothean civilization, and then vanished? She could understand why a synthetic race like the geth would choose to worship them, but the Reapers sounded like a fairytale filling in the gap where history had failed. What concerned her was that Saren and his accomplices seemed to think they were important, so until she knew for sure one way or the other, she knew she would be keeping her ears peeled for any mention of an ancient synthetic race. Certainly the similarities between the tale and the images from the beacon made Shepard wary. The synthetics in the vision did not match with the geth's appearance. Could she have seen the Reapers wiping out the Prothean race?

Stripped out of her uniform, dressed in a loose black t-shirt and leggings, she sat cross legged on the bed as she released her hair from its confining bun. It waved all around her, the black strands kinked from being up for so long. Gently she rubbed the scar cream onto the marks on her eyebrow, cheek and the very corner of her lip. Surgery could have removed them but not only was it expensive, Shepard liked to wear them as a reminder of what she had been through, of where she had come from.

Before she dropped into a deep sleep, she completed her nightly ritual by pulling out the holo she kept beneath her pillow. She smiled softly at the image of the newborn baby boy, looking up at her with a tuft of black hair and wide blue eyes. "Good night Nathan," Shepard whispered.

* * *

**New questions! I look forward to hearing theories, comments, suggestions etc in reviews! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Happy almost-weekend! Thank you for the reviews thus far. They encourage me to keep writing. I can't reply to guest reviews, but thank you so much for taking the time to leave a note!**

**All rights related to the Mass Effect universe belong to Bioware.**

**And now, we are off...**

* * *

Chapter 6

The next morning, showered and dressed in her official blues for the Council audience, Shepard felt refreshed. Today the Council would have no choice but to see their side of things. With any luck, Anderson, Shepard and the Normandy would be granted permission to go off in pursuit of the bastard. Vakarian was off her back, she was not planning on shooting anyone today…it was a good day.

Alenko met her outside the airlock, two cups of what smelled like coffee in his hands. "Thought you could use a pick-me-up after yesterday," he explained somewhat bashfully.

Shepard smiled, genuinely surprised and pleased…not to mention taken with those gentle brown eyes. "Thanks lieutenant," she said, taking one gratefully. "The ship's kitchen has never been able to figure out a good cup of coffee."

"I guessed cream and two sugars, I hope that's all right," said Alenko as she took a sip.

The face she made answered that question and he chuckled. "Well I usually take milk, but this is pretty good! It'll do the job anyway. Have you seen Williams?"

"She came with me to get coffee but was stopped by an acquaintance. Maybe we'll catch her on our way to the Council." The pair headed into the elevator, chatting about assignments and squads while Shepard wondered about Alenko's motivations for fetching her coffee. _Not that I'm complaining, _she thought to herself with a smile.

* * *

As they crossed yet another courtyard by the embassies, Shepard saw the familiar figure of the chief talking to an older gentleman. He stood proudly, but his lined face bespoke deep grief. The commander frowned and headed toward them, tossing her now empty coffee cup into a nearby receptacle.

"I'll see what I can do, Mr Bhatia," Williams was saying, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. Her pretty face was set in hard lines; Shepard could read the anger there. "Nirali deserves to be returned to you."

"Is there a problem chief?" asked Shepard, coming up beside her. Williams jumped, then saluted quickly.

"I'm not sure if I'm comfortable asking, Shepard," she hedged, glancing at Mr Bhatia. "It's about my squadmate, Nirali."

"She was my wife," explained the man. "I am Samesh Bhatia. Nirali and Ashley served together in the 212. She was killed during the attack on Eden Prime." The man's eyes glistened but he held himself together. "I haven't been able to get her body returned to me. I'd like to bury her properly on Earth but the damn bureaucrats are holding me back."

Shepard frowned. "That's not right," she said. "If you give me the information of whoever you're in contact with, I'll ask the captain to look into it, see if we can get your wife's body released."

Samesh smiled gratefully. "Thank you ma'am," he said, shaking her hand. "Ashley told me she thought her commander might be able to help, and she was right." Shepard glanced over at Williams, amused, but the chief shrugged embarrassedly and avoided her gaze. "I'll message you Mr Bosker's contact information. Please let me know if you make any progress."

"Of course Mr Bhatia. Williams, we should head for the Council."

"Aye aye ma'am," she said. Williams turned to Samesh and shook his hand. "I'm so sorry you lost Nirali," she said, her voice quiet. "She was a good friend and a good woman."

Samesh nodded. "She was, Ashley. Thank you for that." Shepard gestured to Williams and the trio headed off, Alenko watching the commander thoughtfully.

* * *

Walking through the carefully designed courtyards of Citadel Tower, Shepard noticed that there were a lot more people, aliens and humans alike, milling about than there had been in previous days. Many turned to stare curiously at the group of humans walking toward the central chamber. Shepard could not help but feel that many of them were staring at her.

On instinct, she wanted to find the nearest cover and hide out for a little while. She had never been one to willingly search out the spotlight and this bit of unwanted and curious attention was making her prickly.

The solemnity with which the Council looked down at her upon their arrival made it worse. Something else was going on, but damned if Shepard could see what it was.

Udina however oozed smugness as he played Tali's evidence to the Council. The young quarian stood just behind him, nervously fidgeting with her hands as Saren and Matriarch Benezia's voices filled the chamber. "There is your proof councilors," Udina said, looking for all the world as if he might just float up to take his place besides them.

The three of them looked at each other. Shepard was not very good at reading the facial expressions of aliens, but she thought she could detect a bit of shock, anger and resignation on their faces.

"I have to say this evidence is irrefutable," said the turian councilor, the normal reluctance in his voice replaced by determination. "Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and we will do our best to make sure he answers for his crimes against the human colony Eden Prime."

"That other voice on the recording," said the asari hesitantly, "I believe it is Matriarch Benezia. She is a powerful leader among the asari."

"The recording suggests that she is working with Saren and the geth," said Shepard, noting the consternation in the councilor's expression. "That makes her culpable in these attacks, matriarch or not."

"Her followers and biotic abilities can only strengthen Saren and make him more dangerous," she mused.

"I'm more interested in this talk of a Conduit and of Reapers," added the salarian councilor. Like many of his race, he was quick to jump on a mystery and try to puzzle out a solution. "Do we know anything else about them?"

"What Tali'Zorah nar Rayya recovered from the geth is all the information we have on that," said Anderson, gesturing at the quarian girl. She shrank from the gazes of the councilors. Shepard knew how she felt.

"We know the geth believe that the Reapers were an ancient synthetic race which wiped out the Protheans only to vanish 50,000 years ago," said Shepard. "The geth see them as gods. Saren thinks that finding this Conduit is the key to bringing them back to destroy organic life. That's why he attacked Eden Prime."

"So what is it?" asked the salarian councilor. He seemed genuinely interested, but Shepard did not like the looks on the faces of the asari or turian. She had her doubts about the Reapers, but Saren seemed convinced of their existence and had already gone to great lengths to try and find this Conduit, to the detriment of innocent human civilians. For that reason, if nothing else, she wanted them to take this threat seriously.

Shepard and Anderson shared a brief look then Anderson shrugged. "Unfortunately we don't know yet," he admitted.

"But if Saren believes it can bring back a bunch of organic destroying AIs, then we need to take it seriously," interrupted Shepard, a little louder than intended.

"The Reapers are a myth. They have to be," said the turian councilor, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself. "We have found no trace of their existence. If they were powerful enough to destroy an advanced civilization like the Protheans, we would have found something or they never would have 'disappeared' at all."

"Isn't it bad enough that Saren thinks they do exist and is trying to bring them back?" asked Shepard, feeling her temper rising. "We should act as if this is a serious threat until we have Saren in custody and can determine the truth."

"It would seem from the facts that we _do _have that Saren is using this myth of the Reapers to control the geth and force an alliance," said the salarian, his large black eyes blinking slowly. "The Conduit may be real enough but these Reapers sound like…what is that human phrase?...a fairy tale."

"But what if it is real?" Shepard could not explain the desperation in her voice, but the images from the beacon were suddenly resonating in her mind. The beacon had felt like a warning and with a strange sense of déjà vu, she suddenly knew that other people at another time had felt this strange mix of desperation and frustration at the disbelief of others. "We have never been able to explain why the Protheans disappeared from the galaxy. What if the Reapers brought about the extinction of the Protheans? We should be open to the possibility and prepare for it! Saren is!"

"Saren no longer has any power or authority and will be known as a fugitive of Council justice. He is not going to find any support."

"Except from the geth," Alenko muttered behind the commander. She shot him a grin.

"And as a fugitive he should be brought to justice," Udina suddenly inserted. "We know he is hiding in the Traverse; send a fleet after him and we can know once and for all whether these Reapers actually exist."

"And risk a war with the Terminus Systems? Not over a few human colonies and one fugitive," scoffed the turian councilor. Shepard could feel a migraine coming on from the intractable position of the councilors.

"Every time the Alliance asks for help, you throw a dozen obstacles in our way," she said, feeling her eyes harden in a glare.

"I agree with Shepard. This Council is starting to demonstrate a blatant anti-human agenda!" accused Udina. Shepard wasn't sure she would go that far but she appreciated the enthusiasm.

The Council did not. "Then perhaps our next proposal will help soothe our relations," said the asari councilor smoothly.

The turian councilor started, his mandibles flapping. "No! Humanity is not ready!" he exclaimed.

Shepard suddenly saw where this was going and her mouth went dry. But for some inexplicable reason, she felt herself stepping forward, feeling the eyes of many upon her figure. "As a Spectre I could go into the Traverse and pursue Saren without risking war with the Terminus Systems," she said, her calm voice hiding the nerves suddenly bubbling in her stomach. "It is a sign of good faith with the Alliance and I will bring down your rogue agent. Everyone will be happy."

The councilors stepped back from their podiums for a moment, the turian councilor gesticulating wildly while the salarian stood back with arms crossed. After a moment, the asari seemed to calm her colleague down and returned to her position. Her luminous purple eyes met Shepard's. "Commander Shepard, step forward."

* * *

The sudden ceremony passed in a blur. Shepard knew that they recited the tenets of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance Branch, reminding her of the duties that came with her new position. Forged in fire and battle, well that was true enough. An ideal, the embodiment of courage and self-reliance. Instruments of the Council's will, protectors of galactic peace, the first and last line of defense. It all sounded very grand but at the moment, shaking hands with Alenko, Williams and Anderson, posing for a vid, signing paperwork, Shepard felt only a burning urge to go after Saren. She didn't know how she'd do that yet, but no one could stop her now. There was something to be said for being above the law, even as the thought made Shepard conflicted about her new position. Her father had been known for adhering to the law, standing up for the Alliance. She wondered how he would feel about her acceptance of this position.

Anderson and Udina left to procure a ship, crew and supplies. The admonishment for her to head out and start gathering some supplies of her own roused her a bit from the overwhelming events that had just occurred.

"I expected your ambassador to be more grateful," said a resonating voice behind her. "He didn't even thank you."

Shepard started and turned to see Garrus Vakarian striding toward her. She scowled. "What are you doing here?" she said, her tone harsher than she intended. Williams and Alenko quickly moved away.

Vakarian held up his hands. "Peace, Spectre," he said with a strange twinkle in his eyes. "I merely wanted to extend my congratulations. And again offer assistance. If you are going after Saren, you could use someone who has been hunting him already for months. I can provide you with leads about where he might have gone, contacts and accomplices, places to find more information." Shepard opened her mouth but he shook his head. "Don't say no just now. Think about it. It will take at least a day to get a ship and crew together. I'll be on stand by until you decide. I'm sure Executor Pallin will be glad to lend me out and get me out of his jurisdiction for a while," he added wryly.

The commander swallowed back her sharp retort and instead forced a nod. "I will…consider your offer," she said reluctantly. "I'll see what kind of crew Udina and Anderson can get together and get back to you."

She thought she detected a hint of what passed for a turian smile as his face plates lifted briefly. "I look forward to hearing from you…Spectre." With that he headed off.

Williams came up behind her. "So Commander, what do we do first?"

Shepard smiled at that. "Whatever I want," she crowed.

* * *

The team left Mr Bosker's office chuckling to themselves. "I thought he was going to wet himself when he realized who you were," said Williams, a light in her eyes Shepard hadn't seen in a few days.

"And that was just when he remembered Akuze," laughed Alenko. "When he checked the registry and saw you had been made a Spectre? He was tripping over himself to grant your request."

"Well I'm glad this kind of power comes with some benefits," said Shepard, still a little uncomfortable with the whole thing. Still, they had gotten him to agree to release Nirali Bhatia's body and that was what Shepard cared about. "Why don't you go tell Mr Bhatia the good news," she suggested to Williams. "Alenko and I will head down to the Wards to gather some supplies and then we can all find some grub. I'm starving."

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" asked Williams, confused. "Samesh will want to thank you in person."

Shepard shook her head. "You knew Nirali; this should come from you." Williams put up a bit more argument but eventually left them, agreeing to rendez-vous shortly for food.

"Not the spotlight type, huh Commander?" asked Alenko.

Shepard gave a short laugh. "Not on your life," she replied. "But somehow it always seems to find me, whether it's the media, a mob or a green glowing beacon." Alenko could not help but chuckle at that and she turned to him with an impish smile. "Maybe next time I'll push you into that light instead of pulling you out," she threatened.

He shook his head. "No thanks Shepard. You can keep that Spectre status all to yourself."

* * *

The team spent the afternoon buying armor, weapons, mods and star charts, sending all of it to the Normandy until they knew where it would wind up. Later Shepard met with the young quarian Tali, who had been staying in a room at C-Sec. When she asked Tali to come with her in her hunt for Saren, she thought the quarian might jump through the ceiling. "Your knowledge of the geth will be of vital importance. I know we're going to encounter more of the godforsaken things," said Shepard, hiding a grin. "And C-Sec tells me you've been making modifications to drones while you've been here. Sounds like you have quite the talent for engineering."

Shepard could not see if she was blushing beneath her mask but the shifting from foot to foot was a telltale sign of embarrassment. "I would be honored to join you," Tali replied in her lightly accented Basic. "This journey is a Pilgrimage in and of itself."

"Remind me to ask you about what a Pilgrimage is," said Shepard distractedly, looking over Tali's shoulder at the familiar hulking figure coming toward her.

Urdnot Wrex stopped in front of the commander, an eager glint in his eyes. "Heard you're outfitting a team to go after Saren," he rumbled. "You're going to need a heavier lifter than some humans and a quarian on your ground team."

"I also need someone who will obey my orders," replied Shepard pointedly.

"Prove yourself a good leader and I will," retorted Wrex, shifting his weight.

Her teeth ached from how tightly she was clenching them, but Shepard met his red eyes levelly. "I guess we'll consider this penance for your past…misdeeds," she said distastefully. But she held out a hand regardless. "Welcome to the team Wrex."

* * *

**_Earth_**

"In a major announcement, the Citadel Council has chosen Commander Marion Shepard of the Alliance to receive the rank of Spectre, the first human to achieve that honor," said the news announcer on the holo screen. "Commander Shepard rocketed to fame after surviving the ambush on Akuze six years ago. Since that time she has risen through the ranks of the Alliance military, defending colonies against pirate attacks, leading rescue missions and even assisting in the arrest and subsequent incarceration of Brooklyn Alvin and her red sand gang here on Earth. A veritable hero of the Alliance, Commander Shepard will certainly continue to defend human interests even as she now serves as a defender of galactic peace."

"Look Mom!" shouted the little boy, his black hair falling across his eyes as he waved the holo screen around.

The woman sighed, a wry smile on her face. "What is it Nate?" she asked, her tone making it evident that she'd heard those words a lot that day.

"There's a human Spectre! Isn't that cool!" The young boy beamed.

The woman pushed back the blond hair that had escaped from her bun and reached for the holo. She froze for a moment at the image of Commander Shepard being displayed by Westerlund News. Her son did not notice her discomfort, but grinned up at his mother with wide, happy blue grey eyes. "See? I told you there would be a human Spectre! I'll be one too someday!" Her twelve year old son ran off blissfully, flying his model ship through the air.

His mother smiled somewhat sadly. "For some reason, I don't doubt that," she said quietly to herself.

* * *

**We'll be seeing more of Nate and discovering his relationship to Shepard throughout the story. For now, questions, comments, and suggestions are welcome!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Back again! This chapter went in a direction I was not expecting, but it felt right. Hopefully it will help you understand Marion Shepard a little better. Updates won't be quite as frequent, though I'll still attempt once a week. I just got my first full-time job so that will be keeping me busy! See you at the bottom.**

**All copyright belongs to Bioware. Except for Nate. He's mine :)**

* * *

Chapter 7

"Where are we heading commander?" asked Williams. Alenko followed the two women, with Tali and Wrex lingering behind.

"Udina asked me to meet him at the Normandy's docks," explained Shepard. "I wanted to check on the status of our supplies anyway since we've had everything shipped to the Normandy for now."

The group stepped into the C-Sec elevator, made a tight fit by Wrex's bulk. Tali gave a squeak when he accidentally backed into her. "I hope your ship has more room than this," the krogan grumbled.

"Well maybe if you didn't carry every weapon in the galaxy with you, it'd be a bit more comfortable," drawled Shepard, eyeing the shotgun, assault and sniper rifles, and the pistol he had holstered.

"A warrior without his weapons is a dead one," he said sagely.

"Well I should think your biotics would be enough to ward off any trouble Wrex," commented Alenko.

The battlemaster sidled over so he could turn a glaring red eye on the marine. "A warrior who relies on only one skill is…"

"A dead one, yeah we get it," interrupted Shepard, feeling uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going.

Wrex had been around long enough to understand a soldier's reluctance to discuss old wounds, so he merely turned his red plated head in Shepard's direction, measuring her. For some reason, Shepard felt she was being found wanting.

The doors opened and Shepard was surprised to see both Udina and Anderson waiting by the airlock. Cargo was coming and going, with soldiers running back and forth. The Normandy's crew was prepping for a mission.

Shepard strolled up to her captain, confused by the sight. "Captain Anderson, ambassador," she greeted them, swerving to avoid a young man in Alliance dress rush by. "Are you heading out on a mission?"

"No, but you are," said Anderson, something like resignation lurking in his eyes. But he stood tall and saluted her. "Spectre, you are hereby awarded the Alliance vessel SSV Normandy to aid you in your classified missions. Take good care of her; she's brand new."

Shepard took his outstretched hand slowly, her mouth opening and closing. Williams whistled behind her, while Alenko's brow furrowed, trying to puzzle through what was happening. "But she's your ship Captain!" she finally blurted. "It doesn't feel right."

"This is the best option on the table Shepard," said Udina, not impressed by her reaction. "With the Normandy's stealth systems you can slip in and out of the Traverse undetected. Any edge you can get on Saren is essential to the success of this mission."

"Do you approve of this?" Shepard asked Anderson, sensing something was not right.

But Anderson nodded his head. "I didn't intend to spend my twilight years behind a desk, but you need this Shepard," he said. "You have to find Saren and make sure he sees justice for what he did on Eden Prime. You need to investigate the truth behind these Reapers. If they are real, then we need to be ready."

The magnitude of this moment was not lost on Shepard. At the young age of 29, she was being entrusted with the most advanced warship in the galaxy. This following on the heels of becoming the first human Spectre. But if there was one thing Marion Shepard knew how to do, it was to compartmentalize. Her emotions could catch up later; at this moment, Anderson was looking at her with trust in his eyes while her ground team stood expectantly behind her. This was her mission. "I'll find him, I promise," she heard herself say. "And I will take good care of her. Thank you sir. Do we have any leads?"

"They are few and far between but I did find someone who could help with that," said Udina. "For now, all we can give you is a name. Liara T'Soni."

"Who is she?" asked Shepard, taking the dossier Udina passed her. An unfamiliar asari face met her gaze, a soft round blue face, expressive jewel-blue eyes, and an overall impression of youth and naiveté. Shepard looked up at the two men, skepticism in her gaze. "She's supposed to help?"

"Judging people again Shepard?" asked a too familiar voice from behind. Shepard closed her eyes, murmuring a rare prayer for patience.

Garrus Vakarian strode up, a turian military issue duffel slung across his back. The sniper rifle he carried also caught Shepard's attention but she tried to focus on the important things. "What the hell are you doing here?" she asked, stunned at his audacity.

"Your captain requested my transfer from C-Sec to the Normandy," he explained, saluting Anderson. "He felt that my previous experience with Saren would be important in your mission."

Shepard forced a response through her lips. "I haven't agreed to have you on my team yet," she said, her jaw tight.

Anderson raised his eyebrows. "Shepard, Officer Vakarian has years of experience with C-Sec and good contacts within the turian military. Not only that, but he has had Saren on his radar much longer than we have. You need him."

There was nothing Shepard could say to that without disrespecting her commanding officer, and that was a line she did not want to cross with Anderson. Spectre authority or not, the man had just given up his prize vessel to her and agreed to early retirement. The least she could do was honor this last order. So she turned to Vakarian, reluctantly stretching out her hand. "Welcome aboard," she said, gripping his palm tightly as his talons wrapped around her hand. His hand was surprisingly warm and though his grip was firm, it did not rise to her challenge.

"Thank you Spectre," he replied, his blue eyes fixed on her. She looked away and returned her attention to the dossier.

"So why am I looking for T'Soni?" she asked.

"Because she's Matriarch Benezia's daughter," said Udina.

"What?" Williams blurted out behind her.

Shepard ignored the outburst, training her attention on the two men. "Has she been in contact with Benezia?" she asked, studying the holo more closely.

"Not that we can tell. She's a doctor, an archaeologist actually, studying Prothean ruins out in the Artemis Tau system," explained Anderson.

Shepard raised her eyebrows. "She gets more interesting by the minute," she commented.

"If she's allied with Benezia we need to bring her in," said Udina. "But even if she's not, her expertise on the Protheans could help in your investigation of Saren. She's worth tracking down."

"But this is your mission Shepard. You're a Spectre now; whatever you think the appropriate course of action is, we'll agree with," said Anderson.

"That depends on the action," corrected Udina with a scowl. "You were human and a member of the Alliance long before you were a Spectre, even if you are a spacer," he added disdainfully. "What you do reflects on humanity."

"It's a good thing you're the politician then," replied Shepard with a sweet smile. "I'll just be the dumb soldier who continues to get things done."

"And we'll be the idiots who decided to come along for the ride," rumbled Wrex behind her. The ambassador eyed him with distaste but said nothing.

Shepard looked up at the ship, _her _ship, and smiled. "Let's get started then."

* * *

Stepping onto the bridge of the Normandy, her team rushing past her to claim bunks and spaces, Shepard felt an odd sense of pride. This was a good ship, a good crew…even Vakarian, she thought as she watched him head down to the next level. She knew she could be a stubborn ass, and her dislike of turians would probably never go away, but she had to admit that the captain had a point. He could be of use, especially if any of his leads panned out. She knew she would have to speak to him about that, eventually. For now, she had to greet an old friend.

"I always said Spectres were trouble," drawled Joker as she approached the helm. Shepard grinned and resisted the urge to smack him over the back of the head. Hitting a man with Vrolik syndrome who could break a leg by falling over was probably not the best idea. Still, he was fun to tease.

"Is that why they gave me the smart-ass pilot? As punishment?" she asked, leaning against the other chair.

He scoffed. "Please, I'm the reward. You took a bullet by agreeing to be a Spectre _and_ adding a krogan, a turian and I heard a quarian to your crew. I'm the icing on the cake."

"Fine. Can you do anything else besides fly and be a pain in the ass? Like open a comm shipwide?"

Joker flipped her off while his other hand slid smoothly across the board to get the comm open. Shepard swallowed tightly and stepped forward. "This is Commander Shepard. I have been assigned command of the Normandy to hunt down Saren Arterius before he finds some device called the Conduit. Though this is an Alliance vessel, we will be operating according to Spectre regulations…which means we have very little." Joker chuckled at that. "But I know the discipline and training of each man and woman aboard this ship will make us successful. We have some…specialists aboard to assist us in this mission and I expect your full cooperation with them. We work together as a team, and we will find Saren. We need to do this: for humanity, but also for every other species out there in the galaxy. Saren threatens to bring back an ancient enemy and if the Reapers exist, we can't let that happen. Humanity needs to show the galaxy what we can do, not just as a species, but as part of this galactic community. We won't forget Eden Prime. Let the loss there fuel our determination and we will see justice done. Shepard out."

She closed the channel and cleared her throat. Joker looked up at her with respect. "Well said Commander."

"Thanks Joker." She rolled her shoulders, looking back toward the galaxy map. "I'll set our destination. We're heading for the Artemis Tau system. Looks like we'll be doing some planet scanning."

"Lovely," Joker said dryly. "It'll be about 15 hours before we can enter the system. I'll let you know when we're an hour out."

"Carry on then," she replied. "I'll go settle back into my bunk once our destination is fixed."

"You mean your cabin," he called back to her as she walked away.

Shepard paused then slowly nodded. "I guess I do," she mused.

* * *

Her cabin. Shepard stepped into the dark space, lugging her own duffel, to survey her kingdom. It wasn't grand; the blue lighting made the room feel smaller but also soothed her. Here was a place she could be herself, not a Spectre, not a leader. The thought was oddly…uncomfortable. Shepard eyed the space for a moment before setting her stuff down, placing the picture of Nathan beneath her pillow with a gentle caress. Then she turned and headed back out the door, eager to leave the quiet cabin behind.

She spent the next hour just wandering the ship, greeting crewmembers, chitchatting about family, reassuring those who were now wary of her new status. She explored the crew deck more, found where the coffee was stashed, said hello to Dr Chakwas. Alenko was working on getting the coffee machine working. Shepard opened her mouth to speak to him, then hurried away. Maybe later, she told herself.

The cargo area and drive core felt like home as Shepard stepped off the elevator. The armory was down here and the gentle thrum of the engine could be felt rumbling beneath her feet. Wrex was cleaning his guns methodically and nodded at her. Off in the corner, Vakarian was occupied with examining the Mako. Shepard ignored him, heading for Williams in the back, who was trying to beat a punching bag into submission.

Shepard paused as she got closer, watching Williams work. She was strong, graceful even, but Shepard recognized that desperation, the need to work off demons. Sometimes she still had to give in to that urge. Slowly she sank down cross-legged, waiting for the chief to notice her. When Williams completed a roundhouse kick that nearly sent the bag careening into Shepard she cleared her throat. Williams froze, almost comically, one foot just lifting off the ground. She stepped back quickly to regain her balance, wiping her forehead.

"Commander! I didn't see you," she panted.

Shepard waved her hand and tossed her the water sitting beside her. Williams gulped it eagerly and dropped down beside her.

"No rest for the wicked, huh Williams?" Shepard asked.

"You can say that Commander," Williams replied, taking another gulp.

The two women sat in silence for a moment, people watching as various crew members wandered around the cargo area. Eventually Shepard looked up at the ceiling, purposefully avoiding Williams' gaze. "I don't talk about Akuze to many people," she said quietly. If she saw Williams start and stare at her, she gave no notice. "It's…difficult to describe what it's like to lose your whole team. To be the 'sole survivor.'" She made air quotes at that and shook her head, still gazing upwards. "But in a way you don't survive. Because the experience changes you so much. Sometimes you have to let a part of yourself go so that you can move on."

She turned to look at Williams, but the young chief was staring down at the floor, her hands between her knees. Shepard could practically see the ghosts of the 212 swirling around her. "The night I lost my team was chaos. We were on a routine mission, answering a distress call. When we got there, we saw the beacon, a destroyed transporter, but no people. We spread out, searching for survivors. And then…the ground exploded…"

* * *

**_Flashback_**

Shepard followed Miles, covering his six as their squad mates fanned out in a grid pattern. Her nerves were on edge. A distress beacon, an overturned transporter but no bodies anywhere. "Something's not right Miles," she said quietly, scanning the area. "I don't think we're going to find any bodies."

"Then who set the distress beacon?" he replied, his eyes trained on the ground before him.

"I don't think anyone who was actually in distress," she muttered.

"You're a suspicious person Marion, you know that right?" he glanced back with a grin.

"With you around, always," she joked.

Suddenly the ground rumbled under her and she and Miles toppled over. The shaking stopped fairly quickly and the pair scrambled up. Miles was pale under the light of his flashlight. "What was that? Space stations don't normally shake like that," said Shepard, feeling her heart pound.

He just looked at her and said one word. "Run."

And then the ground exploded behind him and the maw reared its head and it was firing green acid and Miles was burning before her eyes and acid stung her face as Shepard fled, her biotics lighting up the night for the last time in six years.

* * *

"Some of it was pure luck that I survived," Shepard confessed, letting herself unburden to Williams. The chief watched her wide-eyed. As hard as it was for her, it was worse for Williams. She needed to know that it was possible to keep living. "I managed to get up a rock slope and hide. I tried to save a few of my squadmates, tried to pull them up to me with my biotics. But the maw saw or sensed it. I just painted a target. Some of them might have survived if I hadn't tried to help." Disgust seeped into her tone at that and she shook her head. "The Alliance picked me up the next morning and gave me leave to deal with what had happened. But I wish I could have been thrown right into a mission, like you have been. It's the quiet time that gets to you, isn't it?" Williams nodded slowly and Shepard pretended not to see the tear that dripped off her nose to the floor.

"You wanted to be on this mission. _I _want you here on this mission. But you have to be ready. Can you do that Ashley? I won't think any less of you if you can't. Losing your unit will be something you will struggle with for a very long time. But it's also something that as marines, we are expected to face."

"I can do it Shepard," replied Ashley, looking up with more fire in her eyes than Shepard had yet seen. "The 212 would expect nothing less. And if I ever meet Saren, I'd like to put a bullet in his crested head."

"I'll keep that in mind," Shepard said. She put a hand on Ashley's shoulder for a moment and then stood up.

"Hey Shepard." Ashley looked uncomfortable for a moment but then shook it off. "Is that why you don't use your biotics?"

Shepard was silent, her gaze fixed on something in the distance. "I told you that sometimes you have to let a part of yourself go to move on," said Shepard. When her eyes met Ashley's, the blue grey stare was cold, matter of fact. "That was a compromise I had to make with myself. What you do is your own business." Ashley looked taken aback, and Shepard struggled to calm herself, feeling the fury and despair of that night seeping into her being again. "You have a new team here, a new squad. We might be a little different," she smiled ruefully at the thought of her ground team, "but I intend for us to work together. And we will protect each other. And I will be here if you need me."

Ashley swallowed tightly and nodded. "Thanks commander. I appreciate you coming down here to talk to me."

Shepard shrugged, with an uncomfortable smile. "It's what my old CO used to do, and I've always wanted to be like him when I got command. Hopefully someday you'll get to do the same."

The commander moved away, avoiding Wrex's stare as she went. In her haste to leave the cargo bay, she did not notice Garrus Vakarian considering her, head tilted and eyes thoughtful.

* * *

**Any thoughts, comments, suggestions are welcome! I really appreciate the time you take to leave a note!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I managed to get this in on the weekly mark! Thank you for the reviews; they are so encouraging and motivate me to keep writing. I won't distract you with a bunch of extra chit-chat. We'll just get right to it!**

**All copyrights belong to Bioware. I'm just taking a spin through their universe.**

* * *

Chapter 8

Sleep was not an easy thing to acquire after such a conversation. Shepard tossed and turned in her bed, the quiet of the room leaving plenty of space for the memories of screams and rumbling in the night. When her alarm went off at shiptime 600 hours, her bleary eyes and sweaty skin in the mirror did not inspire confidence. With the scars along her cheek and lip, she looked like a washed up merc.

But getting a shower to herself, without being hustled along by a fellow grumpy crewmate…that was worth the burdens of command. Shepard sighed and let the hot water stream down her body, soaking her long thick black hair. Afterwards, the demons of the past were easier to forget, or at least put aside for a little while.

Though the smell of coffee tortured her from the mess, she forced herself to sit and run quickly through her messages before she left the room. Most of them were standard: updates through the Alliance News Network, spam that had managed to get through Alliance filters, information on Saren and Eden Prime that had been forwarded to Shepard. But two caught her eye in particular: one from her mother, the other from Admiral Kahoku. Shepard raised her brows, swallowing as she realized she had not contacted her mother in person to tell her about her promotion. She tapped on Kahoku's message, deciding to save the electronic tongue-lashing for a few minutes.

Kahoku's message was disturbing enough. She had never met the admiral, though she had heard his reputation of being a tough but fair commander, attuned to the needs of his men and women. And his reputation since the Skyllian Blitz was spotless. He had heard of her promotion to Spectre and was writing in desperation. A squad of his marines had gone missing in the Artemis Tau cluster during a recon mission. He was pleading for her help, as the Council was turning a deaf ear to his calls for assistance. Shepard sat back, her arms crossed and brow furrowed. Something was not right about the whole situation. A group of marines just disappeared? Her instincts tingled at the memory of her own squad. Had a similar fate befallen them?

She stood, trying to shake the anxiety, exacerbated by the dreams of the night before. She felt like a string that had been plucked, vibrating with a strange energy. The idea of reading her mother's message was suddenly even less appealing. Throwing her hair into its customary bun, Shepard left the room, hoping Williams wasn't already pounding on the punching bag.

Luckily for her the cargo area was empty. Shepard happily threw herself at the bag, letting all that excess energy flow out through her hands and feet. For a few minutes she lost herself in the routine. She loved the sweat, the focus, the satisfying smack of her body against the bag. She felt her hair coming loose from her hurried bun but ignored it, even enjoying feeling her hair tickle her back and cheeks as she spun and kicked.

Suddenly the quiet was broken by a slow clap from behind. Shepard gritted her teeth and ignored the attention, finishing her routine with a loud grunt. "Impressive Shepard," drawled Vakarian, approaching her with a cup of some foul smelling beverage. "If that punching bag were alive, it would be dead several times over."

"That's the idea," she replied, her breath coming quickly. She stretched out her muscles, grinning as she realized she had an excuse to take another hot shower, however brief.

"You know on turian ships, the crew actually wrestles with each other in order to improve," he commented, taking a sip of his drink.

"I'd rather not hurt any of my crew," said Shepard. "I want them ready to fight the enemy not each other."

"Then perhaps you should lead by example," said Vakarian.

Shepard stilled at that and stood up straight out of her stretch, her jaw tight. "How I run this ship is none of your business," she said quietly.

"I'm not challenging you Shepard," said Vakarian, his tone casual. "I am a turian after all, we stick pretty tightly to things like hierarchy. But I also have a tendency to break rules, like you have done from time to time in your career. And your problems with me, or more specifically with my species, are going to create even more problems on our mission."

She walked toward him, her eyes narrowed. "My dislike of turians is not something I hide," she said, almost whisper quiet. "But my problems with you in particular come from your disregard for others, your arrogance, and your self-righteousness. I agreed to have you on this mission out of respect for Captain Anderson, but you have to earn a spot on my ground team. And right now the attitude isn't helping."

She saw a flare of anger in his electric blue eyes. "I have been tracking Saren for months, I was one of the best snipers in C-Sec, I deserve to be on the ground with you…"

"You deserve nothing!" said Shepard, her voice getting louder. "Don't presume anything Vakarian; I handpick my ground team and right now that does not include you. Enjoy your bunk." She turned to leave but there was a clatter of a cup on the ground and suddenly talons wrapped around her forearm.

"Shepard, wait…" Vakarian said, his tone more conciliatory.

But Shepard felt only the threat and turned, fist raised in a punch. Vakarian was faster than anticipated however and her other arm was caught as she was pulled against his armor. The two glared at each other, breathing heavily. A strange tingling, different from the anxiety of earlier, emanated from her arms and Shepard was suddenly very aware of how close she stood to Garrus. He looked down at her, his angry eyes seemingly briefly distracted by something.

"Are all humans so angry?" he asked almost to himself, a tone in his subvocals Shepard hadn't heard before.

Shepard suddenly broke away, brushing the hair back from her face. "Only when you're around," she muttered.

"Is everything all right Commander?" The pair looked up as Engineer Adams entered the cargo bay, a holo in hand and a frown on his face. He took in the spilled cup, a sweaty and angry commander, and a turian with twitching mandibles. Shepard gathered up her hair and moved past the engineer. "We're all good Adams. Let's keep it that way," she said.

He eyed the turian suspiciously before heading back into engineering. Vakarian sighed, looking down at his cup. "Such a waste," he muttered, setting about the clean-up.

* * *

"We're entering the Macedon system now Commander," reported Joker as Shepard stepped onto the bridge, fresh from another shower, revived by coffee and cereal. Alenko sat on the bridge with Joker and smiled at the commander. She nodded and focused on the readouts coming in to Joker's computer.

"What is that coming from?" she said, pointing at an unfamiliar signal.

Joker looked through the readouts. "It's coming from Sharjila," he said. "Energy signals consistent with a small camp."

"Are there any authorized miners or colonists in the area?" asked Shepard, a slow smile unfurling on her face.

Joker looked up at her, a twinkle in his eye. "Why I do not believe so Commander," he replied almost gleefully.

"Pirates!" they crowed together.

"Comm buoys have logged quite a number of unregistered vessels operating nearby," added Joker, scanning the channels.

Shepard chuckled, rubbing her hands together. This, she knew how to do. Here was a problem with a solution she knew she could handle. Saren and the Matriarch and Dr. T'Soni and Reapers: that was a whole bunch of irritating unknowns with no set plan of attack. But cleaning out a nest of pirates and slavers: that had an immediate solution. And it involved firepower.

* * *

Ashley looked as happy as Shepard, practically bouncing by the Mako, an assault rifle on her hip. "What do we got Shepard?" she asked.

"Looks like a group of slavers have set up camp on Sharjila," she replied, tightening her suit. "Figure we can clean house while we're hunting the system for Dr. T'Soni."

"Who's coming with us? Alenko?" Ashley asked, about to climb in to the Mako.

"No, I thought I'd bring Tali along with us," Shepard said casually.

The chief practically fell back through the opening. "The quarian?" she said in disbelief. "Are you sure she's ready for this?"

"I don't take kindly to anyone questioning my decisions of command, Williams," said Shepard, still in a deadly casual voice. "But if you have concerns, air them now before she gets here."

"She's so young Commander," Ashley tried to explain. "She handled herself in that alley, but that was against a few mercs whose combined brains equaled that of my dog. Slavers are tough bastards, we're going to spend more time protecting her than completing the mission."

"Or she could surprise us and show herself to be a competent soldier in the making," said Shepard, calmer now. She folded her arms and tilted her head at Ashley. "Didn't someone ever take a chance on you?" she asked. "I certainly didn't bring her along to decorate engineering and drive Adams up a wall."

Just then Tali'Zorah strode into the cargo bay, her eyes glinting behind the purple glass of her mask, carrying a pistol and a shotgun. "Ready when you are Shepard," she said, her small voice firm, belying any nerves that might be hidden in her envirosuit.

* * *

The pirates fell one by one outside their base, their bodies dropping into the silica dust tossed around by the high winds of the planet. Ashley manned the gun, hooting as she hit her targets.

"Head for the entrance to the base," directed Shepard, eyeing the door to the underground bunker.

"Yes Commander," replied Tali, steering the Mako around the bunker, parking the vehicle where they had the most cover. Her voice vibrated with suppressed excitement. Sitting behind the wheel of an Alliance vehicle, driving through combat, getting to play with new technology: Tali'Zorah nar Rayya was in her element.

Shepard picked up on her excitement and smiled through her helmet. "Let's get in there quick and easy. Pick your targets with care; if they have any slaves, I want them safe and sound."

* * *

The trio moved through the warehouse, finding cover behind illicit cargo. Shepard could hear the sound of screams coming from further inside and gritted her teeth. If a single innocent man or woman was killed by these low lives, they would regret it.

"Williams, take the flank!" yelled Shepard, running low to advance. "Tali and I will cover, go!"

Ashley nodded and ran forward as Tali and Shepard opened cover fire. Tali tapped on her omnitool and shortcircuited one pirate's shield nearby. He yipped in shock and Ashley popped up to shoot him cleanly. Two more pirates came around a doorway and opened fire. Ashley ducked back down with a curse. "My shields are down!" she shouted, reloading her weapon.

Suddenly Tali's attention swung up to the catwalk. "Ashley, look out!" she screamed, running forward and diving.

A shot fired from above, aimed at the chief. Throwing herself on top of Ashley, Tali's shields absorbed the shock and both women fell to the floor. The quarian then reached out with her pistol to shoot the approaching pirates.

Shepard's attention was on the lithe figure running up above her. She followed it with her scope. "Come down and fight fair coward!" she shouted. "I'll take out your shields and see how you do!"

Just then the figure leapt down, wreathed in blue biotics to slow her fall. Shepard kept her sights on the asari with a cocky smile twisting her feminine features. "Commander Shepard isn't it?" she called, landing on top of some cargo.

"I can't say I know you. I usually don't waste my time learning the names of scum like yourself," Shepard replied, moving slowly to the side to get a better spot.

The asari watched her, indigo eyes amused. "I guess I have my sister to thank that my name isn't being broadcast around the galaxy," she said, her biotics still flowing. "You're interrupting my operation, not to mention forcing me to find new men. If you leave now, we can just forget the inconveniences and I can pay you something for the trouble."

"Bribing an Alliance official and a Spectre?" Shepard commented, eyes narrowed. "Not exactly putting to rest the scum stereotype, are we?"

"I'm not going to negotiate Shepard," the asari said, her eyes hardening. "I'm not as easy to deal with as my men."

"I just have one more question," said Shepard, watching her closely. "Are you Liara T'Soni?"

The asari laughed. "You mean the naïve little scientist I was chasing over in the Knossos system? Do I look like some university idiot to you?"

"No. But I was just checking." Shepard nodded to someone behind the asari slaver.

Tali had moved around the cargo filled warehouse silently, sneaking up behind the slaver. The omni-tool lit up and Tali dampened her shield, making the asari yelp as energy rushed through her biotics. Ashley stepped out from behind the asari's cargo platform and fired. The blue wreath of biotics faded and the lifeless asari collapsed to the floor.

Shepard whooped and went running over to her squad. Ashley leaned back against the crate and pulled off her helmet, her cheeks red and face sweaty. "Nice work Tali'Zorah," she congratulated, reaching out to pat the quarian on the shoulder.

"Thanks Ashley Williams," replied Tali, holstering her pistol.

The Alliance marines chuckled. "You can just call me Ashley," she said, reaching out a hand.

The quarian took it slowly, wrapping her three long fingers around her outstretched hand. "And I am Tali."

"And I'm Alec. Now can someone let us out of here?!" a voice yelled in irritation from a nearby closet. The three woman looked at each other and then scrambled as one to free their rescued captives.

* * *

"Our ringleader was the asari, Dahlia Dantius," said Shepard, throwing the datapad down on the mess table as she and the squad sat down to eat. Ashley and Tali were on either side of her, with Alenko across, examining the datapad now. Vakarian sat at the other end of the table, stabbing at his food as he listened grumpily.

Wrex sat down, practically shaking the table. Shepard glared at him but he ignored her, snatching the datapad from Alenko. He protested but Wrex ignored that too. "Dantius? Isn't that the name of that diplomat on the Citadel?" he said, looking up.

Shepard raised her eyebrows as she dug into the mess-made macaroni and beef. "That asari mentioned a sister, hinted that she had helped keep her name under wraps," she said after swallowing. "I'll have to track this Nassana down and pay her a visit next time we're on the Citadel."

"I heard you put on quite a show down there Tali," said Alenko kindly, focusing on the quarian.

She fidgeted and her tone of voice suggested a blush. "It was nothing," she replied, fooling around with the tube that held her nutrient paste.

"She covered my ass is what she did," said Ashley with a grin.

"No rescues needed for you Shepard?" asked Alenko, the casual tone of his question belied by the faint worry lines around his eyes.

She smiled at his concern. "That apparently only happens when you're around," she said. Then she reddened and dug back into her food, pretending that she hadn't just tried to flirt with a shipmate.

Vakarian snorted at the exchange but said nothing. The other members chatted as they ate, discussing where they thought they could find T'Soni in the Knossos system. But Shepard's ears were caught by a conversation at the table behind her. She casually turned her head as if scratching an itch and saw Pressley sitting behind her, muttering to Adams and a few other crewmen. One of them laughed and pretended to drink a baby bottle. Shepard caught the look he threw at Tali. She looked back at the young quarian, who was continuing to spin the tube of nutritious paste rather than attach it to her helmet and eat.

Shepard stood abruptly and spun, marching over to the table. The men and women there fell instantly silent as she approached, looking anywhere but at her. "Having a laugh are we?" she asked, her voice deceptively casual, her arms folded.

A few people shook their heads. "Yeah, I didn't think it was very funny either," she said into the silence, watching each face. Slowly she leaned down to place her hands on the table, waiting until everyone's eyes met hers. "On this ship, we respect our crewmates," she said quietly. "I'm not asking you all to be friends. Hell, I'm not even asking that you like each other. But I _expect_ that you will respect each other, human and non-human like. If you are uncomfortable with that, I will be happy to have you transferred to another assignment. But for now I suggest you take your meal elsewhere, and come back when you are feeling more civilized." Shepard stood and waited. "You're dismissed," she added. As the crew members scrambled to move, Shepard reached out to her navigator. "Pressley, walk with me," she said, wrapping an arm around the older man's shoulders and leading him out of the mess.

Shepard's squad watched with varying degrees of amazement as well-trained soldiers scattered like the wind. Tali's grin was hidden by her mask and she happily attached the tube to her suit to eat. Vakarian turned to watch Shepard walk out, shaking his head and wondering how he would ever even begin to understand human behavior.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Drop a message, comment, review, suggestion if you have a moment. Next week, Shepard has some unwelcome flashbacks and some moments with Kaidan and Garrus. And then after that we should hopefully meet with the enigmatic Dr T'Soni.**

**Oh and go Bruins! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Back to the Wednesday update! I'm going to keep trying to stick to this schedule. Thank you for the lovely reviews; the feedback is great! **

**All copyright belongs to Bioware. I'm just taking a spin through their universe.  
**

* * *

Chapter 9

"Commander, I'm getting a strange reading from the planet Edolus. Looks like an automated distress signal." Joker pointed out the reading on his screens and Shepard leaned in with a frown.

"Could be our missing soldiers," she mused. "Or it could be Dr T'Soni having some trouble. If those pirates were pursuing her, there could be others causing havoc."

"It's worth checking out at any rate," added Alenko, coming up behind her.

Shepard swallowed back the nerves that were suddenly in her stomach. If it was the soldiers, she worried about what she might find. Was it going to be the carnage of another Akuze? Or were they holed up somewhere without a way out? Would she be forced to use her biotics again? She almost shuddered at the thought.

She made herself turn back to Alenko with a small smile. "Feel like stretching your legs?" she asked, heading down the gangway.

He nodded, in step with her. "Would be nice to walk planet-side again, even with the potential dangers," he replied.

They headed down the stairs in companionable silence, Shepard's mind spinning through the possibilities, steeling herself for what she and her team might encounter. Alenko broke the silence of the elevator however, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "That was really great how you handled the crew last night," he commented. "I don't think they'll go after Tali anymore."

"I hope I helped and didn't hurt," Shepard said honestly, mimicking his stance on the opposite wall. "Sometimes I find it hard to rein in my temper. I want them to respect her because she earned it, not because I ordered them."

"Well if she keeps jumping between the crew and incoming shots, I think she'll be all right," Alenko said wryly. Then he sobered, his brown eyes measuring the commander. "Off the record ma'am, I do have to admit to worrying about how the crew is receiving Wrex and Garrus," he said quietly.

Shepard tensed but kept her voice even, knowing her lieutenant needed to get something off his chest. "Permission to speak candidly Alenko," she said, piercing blue eyes watching him.

He shifted slightly but otherwise matched her poise, his voice direct. "The crew is picking up on your dislike of Garrus," he said. "I'm worried it will make things more difficult for our mission and for the non-humans onboard. People are too intimidated by Wrex to do anything other than ignore him, but Tali and Garrus are easier targets. It could escalate, especially given our history with the turians and the prejudice against quarians. Though perhaps you understand Tali a little better than most." When Shepard quirked an eyebrow, Alenko almost blushed. "I just thought, given how you're a spacer and the quarians don't have a homeworld anymore…"

Shepard chuckled and held up her hand. "It's ok Alenko, I'm not offended. And I do feel a certain kinship with her." Her smile faded then and she forced herself to ask the difficult question, the question a good commander should always ask. "What's your take on the situation then lieutenant? What would you recommend?"

"You're the commander Shepard. I'm not disputing that. Whatever you do, however you handle a situation, I'll respect that," Alenko said seriously. "But perhaps a thaw in the ice would benefit us long term. I've spoken with Garrus a bit and he seems smart, a good soldier and an asset. I would recommend we bring him on a mission soon, see what he's like in action and, well, truly make him part of the team."

"And Wrex?" Shepard asked after a moment.

But Alenko shook his head and held up his hands in surrender. "Sorry, that's all I've got for good advice Commander," he said with a crooked smile. "However you decide to handle the krogan, I will be behind you. And I mean literally behind you."

That got a surprised laugh out of Shepard as they stepped off the elevator.

* * *

Dry, dusty, barren. Those were the words that came to mind as Shepard drove the Mako across the plains of Edolus. Alenko monitored the radar with Williams at his six by the gun.

"See anything Ashley?" shouted Shepard, glad the noise of the vehicle hid the tremor of nerves in her voice. She could always blame it on the bumpy gait of the Mako.

"Not yet," she answered, watching the horizon.

"Should be up ahead, 12 o'clock," said Alenko.

Within a few moments, they could begin to make out an overturned vehicle built like the Mako, half buried in dust. "I'm seeing bodies Commander," called out Ashley, her voice sad and deep.

"Let's get in there and see what happened," said Shepard, looking out the small windows. "If they're Kahoku's…" But her voice trailed off as she truly examined the area around them. Flat dusty plain. Surrounded in a semi-circle of rocky hills and cliffs. Death in the center.

"Oh shit," she whispered, her heart suddenly pounding. An all too familiar rumble passed beneath them.

"What was that?" asked Alenko, confused.

Shepard's heart leapt into her throat next and she managed to choke out, "Something bad."

And then the ground erupted, for the second time in Shepard's life.

"Thresher maw!" screamed Ashley, swiveling the gun. Shepard gunned the Mako backward, the gigantic tunnel worm rising above the ground not twenty yards in front of them, green acid dripping from its mouth.

"Hold on!" Shepard yelled, suddenly swerving the Mako as it spit its destructive acid at them. Alarms starting going off as some of it hit the starboard side.

"We're taking some damage," said Alenko, his voice managing to remain calm. "Can we outrun it?"

"It will just track us underground," said Shepard, her body fighting the panic. "We've got to take it out."

The thresher maw slid back into its hole and Shepard could feel the rumble of its approach. "It's going to come up right under us!" yelled Ashley, her eyes wide, Shepard's story running through her mind.

"No it's not," said Shepard grimly. "It'd rather hit with acid first and incapacitate us. It'll keep coming until it accomplishes its goal." Though the images of screaming friends and horrid green acid passed through her mind's eye, Shepard turned and focused on the faces of Alenko and Ashley, both pale but mostly composed. They looked back with trust. This was her squad _now. _She had to help these people _now. _She couldn't save Miles or the others, but this she had to do.

"Alenko, take the wheel," she commanded, crawling out. "Keep driving and keep that thing confused, understand me? Williams, when it pops out of the ground you send as much firepower its way as you can. And don't hit me."

"Don't hit you? What does that mean?" asked Ashley, her brow furrowed.

Understanding came when Shepard hit the door open, threw on her helmet, and tumbled out into the dust. "Shepard!" yelled the marines left behind as Alenko scrambled to take the helm.

Shepard rolled until gravity stopped her and then ran, putting distance between herself and the Mako. Dozens of strategies ran through her head even as panic threatened to overtake her. Her chest was tight, sweat beading along her neck, the blood draining from her face. "Ashley and Kaidan, Ashley and Kaidan," she muttered to herself as her feet pounded the rumbling plain. With dread, she reached inside and let her biotics roll through her, lighting up her body in a cloud of blue.

Behind her she heard the scream of the maw as it breached the surface of Edolus. The sound of gunfire peppered the air as Shepard spun to face her foe. It rose forty feet above the earth, firing green acid at the Mako. For a moment, Shepard felt herself freeze, the sounds fading away, her heartbeat flooding her ears. Her mouth went dry as she stared up at the maw.

"Run," Miles whispered in her ear.

All around her were suddenly the bodies of comrades, some screaming in pain, some dissolving in acid, their vehicles overturned. The light of early morning on Edolus was gone, replaced by the darkness of that night on Akuze. Out of clips, out of energy, out of hope, hiding behind a rock outcropping while her squad died on the plains.

Suddenly the maw hit the Mako, and Shepard watched it swerve, tipping dangerously on its edge. If it went over, Kaidan and Ashley would be finished. And Shepard would be alone, again.

Her biotics flared even brighter and Shepard ran forward, firing her pistol ineffectually as she screamed. The pistol did nothing, but the maw did seem to notice the bright blue ball of energy rushing at it. Just as it had done six years ago, the maw sensed the energy and turned toward it, making a guttural cry.

Shepard reached out her hand and threw a warp at the head of the beast. The hit did little but irritate it, burning into its hide. Thousands of pounds of angry worm bore down on her. "Now!" Shepard screamed into her comm. "Fire at it now!"

Williams must have heard her command because all of a sudden the maw was barraged with fire from behind. A cannon shot slammed into its thick head, making the maw shriek. Then more firepower hit the sensitive area and the maw reared up, writhing. Shepard began to back away again, throwing energy at it to keep its attention on her. The monstrous creature continued to follow her and then lunged. Shepard threw herself to the side, avoiding the spray of acid and drawing a barrier up around herself. From the corner of her eye, she saw a strange movement.

"Damn it all to hell," she murmured in horror as Alenko rolled out of the Mako, alight with his own biotics.

"Get back in the truck!" yelled Shepard, leaping up and frantically firing at the maw to keep its attention. "It follows biotics!"

But Alenko ignored her and launched a massive warp at the worm's head. It shrieked again, wounded and then turned on the lieutenant, shooting acid and lunging.

Shepard swore under her breath and looked around in desperation. The maw had backed up to a tall outcropping, almost a cliff. It was the only chance.

"Williams, keep firing! Protect Alenko!" commanded Shepard into her comm, racing for the cliff. Her breath came in pants as she literally threw herself up the side, scrambling up the dusty rock to get above the maw. The maw fired acid at Alenko and he barely avoided it, continuing to throw warps at the head of the beast.

After what felt like an age, Shepard reached the top and unclipped a few grenades from her belt. Murmuring a quick prayer to whoever might be listening, Shepard gathered as much energy as she could and hucked a warp at the maw's head. It screamed in defiance and turned towards her, its nearly blind eyes still able to focus on her. "Take this you son of a bitch," she yelled back and threw the grenades down its gaping mouth, guided by her biotics. It was a sight Ashley Williams, staring in shock through the windows of the Mako, knew she would never forget.

But as the grenades entered its mouth, the maw fired one last defiant spray of acid at her. Shepard watched that large ball of green, fiery acid rocket toward her and for a moment froze, trapped in memory. Her foot brushed the edge of the cliff and she took a deep breath. Sometimes there was nowhere to go but down.

Shepard leapt off of the cliff to avoid the spray, even as the grenades exploded deep inside the body of the maw. Cannon fire from Ashley decimated the hide as Shepard fell. The ground approached her body and in a last bit of strength, Shepard used her biotics to slow herself down but she felt her biotics falter, unused to so much exertion. It was not going to be enough. She braced herself for impact.

Then a second cloud enveloped her gently. How it was possible for Alenko's concern and strength to come through the touch of his biotics she would never know, but for once she was grateful to feel the roiling energy around her body.

She tumbled to the ground, covered in green blood that stung on exposed bits of skin. Her ankle twisted beneath her weight and a cry escaped her, followed by another string of curses practically lost in the cacophony of the dying thresher maw collapsing into its nest. "Shepard!" yelled Alenko, racing toward her around the body of the maw.

The Mako sped toward them as well, sparking where the acid had hit it. Williams rolled out before the vehicle had even truly stopped moving. The commander lay on her back as her squad approached her, pulling off their helmets frantically.

"Shepard, are you all right?" asked Williams, gently pulling off the commander's helmet.

Shepard gave a weak smile. "Just peachy Ash," she said in a hoarse voice. She then rolled over, vomited all over the ground, and fell back in a dead faint.

* * *

She awoke only a minute later, having been carried into the shade of the cliff. Alenko passed her some water and a biotic bar which she took in silence. The trio sat there for a moment as Shepard replenished herself, feeling listless from more than the energy she had just expended.

After a moment Ashley got up to investigate the distress beacon and the dead around it. "These tags are from Kahoku's squad," she called back, kneeling in the dirt by the corpse of an Alliance soldier. "Wounds are consistent with a thresher maw attack."

"They were lured here by the beacon," croaked Shepard.

"How do you know?" asked Alenko, watching her with concern.

"Because I've seen it happen before," she responded, staring off into the distance as she took another sip of water.

Alenko did not respond to that, but just watched her for another moment before turning to her ankle. She hissed as he examined it, turning it over in his hand and unbuckling part of her armor. "I think you twisted it when you landed," said Alenko quietly. He looked up with something like admiration in his eyes. "That was quite the stunt you pulled Commander. Watching you leap from that cliff, the maw exploding around you, it was like something out of a vid."

"It was damn crazy is what it was," said Ashley, striding back over. "What the hell were you thinking Shepard?"

"I wasn't," said Shepard, still barely looking at her squad as she ate the bar.

Alenko and Ashley exchanged a glance while Alenko picked up his helmet to signal the Normandy. "Joker, this is Lieutenant Alenko. We need a pick up, the commander has some injury to her ankle and a few burns from thresher maw acid. Have Chakwas on standby."

"Roger Lieutenant, standby for pick up," responded Joker, sounding unsure to hear the lieutenant's voice and not the commander's.

The trio waited in silence as the Normandy approached, Shepard staring off into the distance, eating and drinking mechanically.

* * *

Dr. Chakwas examined Shepard's ankle and applied medi-gel to ease the strain before wrapping it up. The commander sat on the bed in silence, her eyes haunted and hollow looking.

"How are you feeling Commander?" asked Chakwas, watching her intently.

"Fine," said Shepard, her voice apathetic.

"Well you are physically, once this ankle gets to rest a bit and you let the burn cream do its magic," mused Chakwas, standing up and trying to catch the commander's eye. "But that must have been difficult, especially after…"

"I don't want to talk about it," said Shepard loudly, pushing herself off the table suddenly and limping around the room. "Are we all set here?" she asked, heading toward the door with a painful grimace on her face.

"I would prefer you rest for a few hours and let the swelling go down…" began Chakwas.

"But there's nothing majorly wrong?" asked Shepard, eyeing the door.

Chakwas gave in with grace, watching the commander pace like an agitated young animal before her. "You can go Commander, just make sure you put your foot up when you sleep tonight." But Shepard was already out the door.

* * *

At lunch, the commander was missing from the table. Crewmen whispered among themselves the old story of Akuze, comparing it to the new legend of Edolus. "She leapt from a 50 foot high cliff and landed on the maw before chucking grenades down its throat!" whispered one bright eyed private.

"No, she used her biotics and floated up in front of its face and dodged the acid!" added another.

Ashley scoffed under her breath at the table, stabbing at her food. "Bunch of idiots," she muttered to Tali. "They could just ask one of us and be done with it."

"It's good that they are spreading stories," grumbled Wrex. "They respect her and follow her based on her deeds."

"Where is she?" asked Tali, looking around as if nervous to be without her protector.

"She's in her quarters. I think she wants to be left alone," said Alenko kindly when the quarian started to get up.

Garrus scoffed at the end of the table and they all turned to look at him. He turned to face them, his expression of disbelief obvious as he looked at Ashley. "Did you hear anything she said to you the other day about Akuze?" he asked.

Ashley bristled. "That was a private conversation, turian," she snapped.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have been talking in the cargo hold," he responded, standing up to leave the table.

Alenko stood with him, holding out his hands. "Garrus, I really think it's best to leave her be. She has to deal with today," he tried to explain.

"If I heard her right, that's the _last_ thing she wants," Garrus replied, heading for his locker. "If I'm wrong, she can't hate me anymore than she already does." Out of his storage locker, he pulled out his Striker sniper rifle and strode across the deck to her quarters. The turian paused before the door, hand hesitating above the glowing red signal. Still he knocked and the team watched in shock to see the door slide open and Garrus walk inside.

"Well, I'll be damned," said Ashley in surprise.

Inside the commander's quarters, Shepard sat at her computer, mindlessly typing up her mission report. When the door had chimed she had been desperate for a distraction, though unwilling to seek it out and let the crew see her distress. But with Vakarian she felt she had nothing to hide. They were just as ready to kill each other as to talk, so she wasn't worried about impressing him. However when she turned to face him, she had no desire for a fight. Instead she felt a strange relief that someone was coming to see her, that they hadn't been frightened away by her actions that day or by her _reaction_ to those events.

Vakarian stepped in, cradling his sniper rifle, and watched Shepard's eyes light up. He chuckled and placed it on her desk. "I thought you could use something to keep your mind off of things," he explained, unexpectedly nervous. "I saw you eyeing this when I came onboard. Thought you might like to take it apart and learn it, maybe bring it on the next mission."

Shepard sat in stunned silence for a moment, staring at the rifle. Slowly she looked up at him, confusion in her eyes. "How did you…Why?" she finally asked, searching for answers behind those inscrutable blue eyes and damnable visor.

Vakarian shrugged. "I always feel better when I have something to do with my…talons," he said wryly. "I think you feel the same."

"I'll give it back to you when we go out next time," promised Shepard, already reaching for it, a little bit of the darkness leaving her gaze.

"We?" repeated Vakarian, trying not to get his hopes up.

"Well I think I need to see what kind of shot you are before I decide whether I am keeping this baby for good or not," replied Shepard with a small smile.

Vakarian smiled back. "Just give the word Shepard. I'll be there."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Next week I promise we will get to Therum, and perhaps revisit the mysterious strangers who cornered Shepard on the Citadel. As always, comments, reviews, suggestions are all welcome and appreciated! Until next Wednesday!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm here, I'm here! I'm sorry for disappearing, I tried to post a chapter before I left for vacation but couldn't finish it. And then I've been in rural Lincolnshire in the UK and then the farmhouses of my Irish family for the last several weeks, and had extremely limited access to Internet. But I did not abandon the story! I hope to get back to a weekly updating schedule from now on. So here we arrive on Therum and harass Wrex for a while.**

**All copyrights belong to Bioware. I'm just taking a spin through their universe.**

* * *

Chapter 10

Shepard leaned back from the desk, rubbing her eyes. She had submitted her official mission report from Edolus, contacted Admiral Kahoku about setting up a meeting to discuss her findings, and had just sent a reply to her mother, Captain Hannah Shepard, sheepishly explaining the events of the last several days and apologizing for not telling her about the…promotion earlier. Shepard knew her mother would fume for a few days, at which point she would have to send the captain another email, updating her on life aboard the Normandy and pacifying her. She knew well how this game was played.

As she sat there rubbing her eyes and head, occasionally looking at the dismantled sniper rifle next to her and smiling, a new message suddenly popped up. A frown appeared and the commander leaned forward, confused by the lack of a sender name. "VI, can you trace the origin of this message?" Shepard asked the computer, hesitating to open it.

After a brief moment the electronic voice answered with a negative. "I'm sorry Commander Shepard, but evidence for the origin of this message has been erased. It has been sent through several different channels and is untraceable."

"Hmmm," Shepard mused. Her fingertips drummed the table as she stared at the screen. But her career had been built on trusting her instincts and taking a risk. So she clicked on the screen to see what fate had sent her way.

"To Commander Shepard,

We haven't spoken in a while but am hoping you have had time to reconsider the offer I made to you on the Citadel. My employer would very much like to retain your services regarding intelligence. This could be a mutually beneficial arrangement. He has heard that you are currently hunting the former Spectre agent known as Saren through the Traverse and that you are interested in a young asari named Liara T'Soni. As a gesture of goodwill, my employer would like to offer you her location in the hopes that when you next return to the Citadel you would be willing to meet with me and discuss furthering our arrangement.

You will find Dr. T'Soni in the Knossos system on the planet Therum. It's a rich industrial world claimed by the Alliance and has helped to fuel our recent manufacturing boom. But it is also home to many Prothean ruins. I've already had the exact coordinates sent to your helmsman. You will find the young doctor there, scouring the ruins.

I hope with this information you will see how advantageous an arrangement could be. My employer has some very powerful contacts who could aid you through your career as a Spectre. And he is certainly not someone you would wish to cross. I will be at the Cala Café in the Wards in 3 days. I will see you there.

Socrates Welch."

Shepard's eyes widened the more she read but at the name she burst out laughing. Her mysterious contact from the Citadel was named Socrates? She wondered if it was a name he had taken later in life or if his mother just had had a cruel sense of humor. Still chuckling to herself she re-read the email and found herself equal parts excited and suspicious. She supposedly knew where to search for Dr. T'Soni now…but could she trust the information? And what would be the price for accepting it? She sighed. "Damn," she muttered. "I have to go ask someone's advice."

* * *

Her first instinct was to go ask Alenko's advice but having already heard his opinion on other matters (and his recent experience with her past trauma) she shied away from that. Ashley was the next choice but she did not think the chief had enough experience yet to give her balanced advice. That left the non-humans. Tali was too young, Vakarian too rash. So that left…

"How you doing Wrex?" asked Shepard, sauntering up to him in the mess. He was shoving down some more rations, eyeing anyone who came too near. That eerie red gaze was now turned on her but at least he put down the chunk of meat he was currently ripping into.

"Shepard," he said, watching her.

She remained standing, leaning against the wall. "You've been a warrior for a long time. Centuries I'm guessing."

"I can remember when there wasn't a genophage Shepard," he growled at her. "I've seen a lot."

She held up her hands. "I'm not trying to ruffle your plates Wrex," she said. "I'm seriously asking for your tactical opinion."

He remained silent, his gaze level and intense. "I have an anonymous source who has told me where we could find Dr. T'Soni," she continued. "They are hinting that the use of this information will result in reciprocal action on my part. What would be your next step?"

Wrex just looked away, shaking his head. "Hah, I knew you were just a pup, having to go to your elders to figure out how to get things done."

Shepard leaned forward then, her eyes going that deadly ice gray color. "Don't mistake my asking your opinion for weakness, Wrex," she said quietly. "Only an idiot ignores the experiences of those around them. Do I look like an idiot to you?"

The two leaders glared at each other before Wrex let out a reluctant chuckle. "You're all right Shepard," he said. He took another bite and then pointed the fork at her. "If it was me, I'd use the intel and then say to hell with them. No one dictates what I do."

Shepard decided to let that go for another time and instead smiled crookedly at Wrex. "Well then, feel like going hunting?"

* * *

The ground team gathered in the cargo bay, surrounding Shepard as she gave orders. "I'll lead the first ground team with Alenko and Wrex," she explained, tightening her gear. "We'll head out in the Mako and see what we find as we make our way to the complex. Joker will drop off the second team led by Williams with Vakarian and Tali on the other side of the complex. According to our coordinates and the signals Joker is receiving, it appears Dr. T'Soni has set up camp underground with some Prothean ruins."

"So shouldn't this be a simple smash and grab Skipper?" asked Williams, holstering her weapons and eyeing Vakarian with distrust.

"It would be…if it weren't for the geth readings we're receiving from the planet," said Shepard with the grin that promised shooting things. "It appears we're not the only ones with interest in these ruins and in our young asari friend. If she's working with them, we need to separate her from the group and get her onboard the ship. Same deal if she's in trouble. She's worth more alive than dead."

"Commander, I'm picking up some really strange readings from that underground complex," said Joker over the comm.

"Those funny little squiggles mean the geth, Joker," said Shepard, mockingly patient. "We already figured that out."

"I'm the only one allowed to be a smartass Commander. Pretty sure it was in the oath I swore. I'm talking about the readings I'm getting a few clicks from the drop zone. The last time I saw something like this…we found a beacon."

Alenko paled but said nothing. If Shepard's face got a little tighter, no one mentioned it. "Thanks for the heads up Joker." Shepard surveyed her team and nodded. "All right, everyone has their orders. Find the doctor and get her onboard the ship. Determine whether she is with the geth or being pursued. And take out as many geth as you can."

Wrex chuckled and slammed his hands together. "Anyone want to keep count?" he asked almost gleefully.

* * *

That cheerful tone had left his voice after a few minutes inside the Mako with Shepard. "This is how humans drive?" he asked in disbelief as the Mako went up and over a rocky hill, shooting down the other side and tossing its occupants to and fro.

"Only when there are rocket troops and a colossus trying to hit it while swerving around drifts of lava!" shouted Shepard back, executing another sharp turn as Alenko fired back. "Joker, there's got to be another access way to the complex than through these damn tunnels!" she yelled over the comm, speeding up into one more of the death traps.

His reply was staticky, taking away the snarky tone she was coming to know well. "Geth are interfering with the radar Commander. Take a few more of them out and see if it helps."

"Smartass," she muttered, running over a few troopers and rocking the Mako back and forth.

At the end of the tunnel a small blockade was set up, more of an irritant than anything. Wrex was certainly annoyed. He growled and tried to stand, making his way for the door. "I've had enough of this varren dung," he muttered, kicking open the door and leaping out.

"He's starting to remind me of you Shepard," commented Alenko, sending cover fire the geth's way.

Shepard chose not to deign that with a response, but watched with poorly disguised awe as the krogan charged down the slope, barreling through the blockade like they were a child's toy. He headbutted one geth, sending it flying with a squeal, while he backhanded another. The warp he sent at the third rocket trooper disintegrated it and Shepard could not help but whistle with admiration as she barreled out of the tunnel. "Hey Wrex, save some for when we find the doctor!" she yelled over the comm. "Now get back in the Mako!"

He laughed at that and gestured behind him. "I don't think the Mako is going to fit up that ridge Shepard!" he replied. "I wouldn't get back in that death trap for a million credits right now, not with you behind the wheel."

She grinned at him and gunned the Mako past him, leaving him growling in the dust.

* * *

Though her mind was focused on the heat of battle as they made their way through the valley, Shepard could not help but be pleased with the seamless way Wrex and Alenko worked together. The krogan preferred brute force where he could, but his warp was deadly. Alenko hung back, tossing around unsuspecting enemies as they attempted to overwhelm Wrex. Shepard held onto her new toy sniper rifle, happily perched above the melee picking off troopers. As a unit, the trio moved through the valley and climbed the ridge. Shepard lined up one shot that hit a geth's headlight through the tiny hole in the metal sheet he hovered behind. It went down with a squeal and Shepard grinned. "I may not return this to Vakarian," she said, lowering the scope.

"I always heard about the great Commander Shepard and her pistol. Never heard tell you were a good shot with a sniper," commented Wrex.

She shrugged, leading the way toward the complex. "What can I say? I'm a woman of many talents." She paused then, her senses suddenly strung tightly. "One of those talents is a healthy sense of paranoia," she murmured. The message she had received earlier ran through her mind and her suspicion of a trap deepened.

Using hand signals, Alenko and Wrex trotted out in front of her, taking up position alongside delivery crates. Shepard noted that they seemed to be marked for digging equipment, probably at the order of the doctor. Settled into position beside Alenko, Shepard spoke into her comm. "Williams, what's your position?" she whispered.

"We just topped the ridge on the northern side of the complex," came the response. "It's eerie quiet over here Skip."

"Same here. Advance to the mouth of the complex Chief, I want to see if we can trip whatever might be waiting for us."

As it turned out, it didn't take much to set off the trap. Shepard took out her pistol and stepped around the corner, eyes tracing a familiar pattern to detect movement. Suddenly it was up above her. She spun and shot a geth walker in midleap. "Geth!" she shouted as a dropship flew overheard.

Several rocket troopers took up position between the team and the entrance to the mining complex. But it was the sight of the armature as it dropped to the ground and unfurled, his large headlight pointed at the commander, that Shepard suddenly got a little nervous. "Williams, we need back up!" she shouted, running and sliding behind cover to avoid the blast from the metal giant.

"We're on our way Commander!" came the staticky reply. "Some troopers just came over the ridge."

"Alenko, Wrex, focus on those troopers! Don't let them get around us!" barked Shepard.

"Aye aye Commander!" responded Alenko, leaning around cover to overload some shields, followed by a few quick rounds. Wrex did not verbally respond but his sudden charge at an approaching trooper told Shepard what she needed to know.

"I guess the big guy's mine," said Shepard ruefully. A deep breath, a quick rush around her cover…and an almost immediate dive back as the armature took aim again.

"Tali, your people created these things, I'm blaming you if it fries me!" said Shepard over the comm, half-chuckling.

"It gets confused if you get in close Shepard," replied Tali through the static. "It can't maneuver quickly enough to get a clean shot."

"So I just have to get close first," muttered Shepard, eyes scanning around for ideas. The catwalk above her gave her one. "Alenko, cover me!" she shouted, suddenly taking off from her protected spot. As she ran, her pistol took out one trooper. Her feet pounded against the dusty earth and then slid into place behind her next cover. The sound of the armature's fire raised the hair on her arms but Shepard holstered her pistol grimly and began to climb. If she heard Alenko's cry of dismay, she ignored it, climbing up to the catwalk as quickly as she could, the blood pounding in her ears.

The armature took aim again and she ducked as the electric pulse whizzed by her. "Wrex, keep that thing occupied damnit!" she yelled, continuing her trek.

"Ask me nicely," came the reply. Her string of curses made the krogan laugh and he charged at the armature, keeping its attention away from Shepard.

Reaching the catwalk, Shepard stalked across the walkway, watching the armature, waiting for her moment. Then it turned, following Wrex…and its back was exposed. With a triumphant cry, Shepard took her chance and leaped.

She landed on its back, slipping on its smooth surface. The geth giant sensed her and became agitated but could do little to get at her. Trying to keep herself balanced, Shepard pulled out her pistol and took aim at the back of its headlight. The shot made the armature crumble to its jointed knees. Shepard fell off and rolled to its front, taking out the headlight and shooting deep into its core for good measure. The armature collapsed as the rest of the troopers fell under the reunited forces of Alenko and Williams' teams.

Shepard stood, cracking her back as she did, pulling off her helmet to wipe her brow. At the raised eyebrows and dropped mouths of her team, Shepard fought a blush and shrugged embarrassedly. "She said to get in close," she said sheepishly. Ashley burst out laughing, slinging an arm around Tali.

The young quarian shook her head solemnly. "If I had known that's how you would take my advice, I think I would have kept my mouth shut," said Tali, making Shepard grin.

Vakarian stepped forward at that, his hand outstretched. Shepard eyed him with confusion. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"I'd like my sniper rifle back," he said, with an amused tone ringing through his subharmonics. "Crazy stunts like that jeopardize her lifespan. I need to protect her from potential destruction."

Shepard barked a laugh and just shouldered the rifle as she marched toward the mineshaft. "Sorry Vakarian. She's mine until we get back to Normandy. She's almost as much fun to shoot as it is to watch you panic over your favorite toy."

From behind her, she heard Vakarian mutter disconsolately, "She's not a toy."

* * *

A few rocket drones, a broken elevator, and a grumbling krogan later, Shepard and her crew slid down a rocky slope, following a plaintive cry for help. "That better be the asari and not some super smart lamphead," muttered Wrex, his pride still stinging from an ungracious tumble from the broken elevator.

But Shepard just grinned and slapped him on the back as she moved ahead. "Be careful Wrex; people might start to wonder if you're getting too old for this."

His snort made her laugh, a bright sound in an otherwise dank cavern, scattered with the ruins of an ancient civilization. Garrus could not help but watch with admiration as she slid and jumped down the difficult slopes with the lightness of a child, despite the fact that they had no obvious way to escape the ancient cavern. Here, searching out a target, leading a team through danger, she was in her element and her enthusiasm spread through her small team.

And so they also felt her astonishment as she jumped down the last slope and came to stand before a glowing blue barrier. Within, floating inside a large bubble-like force field, was a young asari maiden, jewel-like blue eyes watching with a mixture of fear, hope, and wariness. Her body was outstretched within the bubble, making her look like an ancient sacrifice. The soft blue light outlined the crest on her head and made her naturally sapphire skin seem to glow. She looked beautiful and young and frightened, hardly the experienced and possibly dangerous evil scientist Shepard had been expecting.

"Ummm, could you help me out of this thing?" Liara T'Soni asked, her voice quavering as she eyed this ragtag group of well-armed strangers. "I'd be very grateful for your assistance."

"Well, you heard the lady," said Ashley, stepping forward. "Let's get out of this creepy cave." She placed her hand against the barrier…and then felt her body fly backward to slam against a boulder. Her eyes fluttered as she sank into unconsciousness.

* * *

**So now we move forward and get our first glimpse of Liara, as well as the mysterious group who is dogging her footsteps. Guesses as to who it is? See you next week! Thoughts, comments, suggestions and reviews are always welcome!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I had this chapter ready to go and return to our normal Wednesday update...but then FemShep and Garrus started yelling at me. They made it very clear that they did not like the original ending to this chapter, so I had to completely redo it. In compensation for the day, this chapter is longer than normal. **

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, and favorited, and followed this story. It's very encouraging!**

**Copyrights belong to Bioware. I'm just taking a spin through their universe.**

* * *

Chapter 11

"Ashley!" yelled Shepard, her weapons coming up on the asari even though she wanted to rush to check on her young friend. A flashback to Jenkins, lying in a pool of blood on Eden Prime, made her heart lurch. That panic came out as fury staring up at the trapped alien girl.

"I did not get to warn you," she apologized quickly, looking like she wanted to wring her hands. "The mercenary and his machines tried earlier but felt the same shock. They went to try and find another way in."

"What mercenary?" asked Alenko, his eyes half on Shepard as she moved to check Ashley, half watching the asari for clues.

"Another krogan. He and his machines tried to ambush me. I triggered this defensive mechanism left over by the Protheans. Now they cannot get in…but I cannot get out either," she said, somewhat sheepishly.

"Will she be all right?" asked Shepard, standing back up to survey the captive.

Liara trembled slightly under the veiled anger in those blue-gray eyes but she nodded. "She's just stunned. The mercenary came back to himself after a few minutes."

"I still want Dr. Chakwas to check her out." But when Shepard went to radio the Normandy, she met with no response. "Damn geth interfering with my radio again," she muttered, looking around the cavern for a route they could take on foot.

"Uh, excuse me Miss…" Liara stuttered.

"It's Commander," corrected the raven-haired soldier, a glint in her eye. "Commander Marion Shepard of the Alliance Navy."

"I'm sorry, Commander," she apologized. "But if you could figure out a way through here, there's a Prothean elevator we could use to get your colleague out and to your ship. At least I think it's an elevator."

Shepard could not help but smile wryly at the scientist's worried tone. "You know, for someone who's an expert on the Protheans, you sure seem to have some gaps in your knowledge. Defensive traps you can't turn off, machines you think might be elevators." The commander directed Garrus and Wrex to fan out and survey the area. Tali sat with Ashley, monitoring her vitals. Alenko and Shepard prowled around the shield, looking for a way in. "You're also very trusting."

Liara bristled at the implied insult to her area of expertise. "The Protheans left very little behind, almost as if they purposefully erased traces of themselves," she lectured, her voice irritated. "And unlike the other krogan, you didn't try to shoot first. You seem…more civilized." Shepard hid another smile; the young asari's attitude reminded her of an angry puppy. She continued to scan the area with her omni-tool, Alenko's mutterings to himself endearing if unhelpful.

Suddenly there was a shout and the sound of gunfire from deeper in the cave. "Shepard we've got geth!" yelled Vakarian over the radio.

"Wrex, Tali, keep those geth back with Vakarian!" commanded Shepard, eyes sweeping to take in the situation. Small squad of geth coming around the bend, her team in cover to meet them. Ashley still unconscious beside her, propped against the boulder. Alenko meeting her gaze worriedly, his brow puzzled by the Prothean shield.

But as she caught sight of Liara, dangling helplessly in the trap of her own making, Shepard felt her determination harden. She had always had a thing for helping those in need: maybe it was the stories of knights in shining armor that she had read as a young girl, riding out to save damsels in distress, defeat giants, steal from the rich to give to the poor. Something of those tales floated through her mind at the sight of Matriarch Benezia's daughter, struggling against the force field, tears of frustration rising. Commander Shepard had built a career on trusting her instincts. She knew this young woman was not the enemy, just someone in need of help.

Shepard turned to Alenko, her mouth opening to give an order, when a geth juggernaut suddenly charged at them. She threw her body to the side to avoid the rush, throwing up a barrier on instinct and tumbling into the Prothean shield. But rather than pain, Shepard felt a strange melding sensation course through her body. Out of the corner of her eye she could have sworn she saw a bit of green light flare. But this observation was overtaken by the astonishing realization that she had just fallen through the Prothean barrier.

The shield shone above her head: through its blue glow Shepard could see Alenko stare at her in shock before turning to deal with the onrush of geth. Her head against the metal tiled floor, Shepard glanced up to see Liara looking down at her with much the same expression. "Commander?" she asked tentatively.

Then time sped up. Shepard leapt to her feet, ignoring Liara to rush back at the barrier, ignoring this new mystery with implications she could not even begin to fathom, determined to help her team. Garrus and Wrex hovered around Tali, their posture oddly protective against their enemy despite Tali's obvious capability. The young quarian coolly overloaded one geth's shield then blasted it with her shotgun. But Alenko was running, ducking behind some mining machinery as the juggernaut pursued him…and the pair were getting close to the unconscious Ashley. Shepard pulled out her pistol and ran at the barrier...and felt like she had run into a brick wall. Blood gushed from her nose and Shepard spat curses, wishing she had left her helmet on.

"Let me out of here!" she shouted at Liara.

"I don't know how!" Liara said, her voice rising in panic as she watched the battle beyond the barrier. "I don't even understand how _you _got in!"

Shepard growled, rushing to the panel. Strange symbols littered the screen, undecipherable. "What do these mean? You're the Prothean expert; tell me which one lets go!"

"I can't see from this angle!" snapped Liara, her temper fraying.

"Then we're doing this the old-fashioned way," Shepard muttered to herself. She aimed her pistol and fired. The screen sparked and exploded and the commander ducked. Behind her, the blue sphere dissolved and the asari scientist crumpled to the ground. But the main barrier did not fade.

Shepard's instincts warred with each other: to attack the barrier again to get to the fight or to check on her distressed damsel. The latter won and she knelt beside her, raising the asari up. Liara glared at Shepard. "You just destroyed a 50,000 year old piece of technology!" she said with infuriated horror.

"Well, you must be feeling fine," said Shepard dryly. "Now help me figure out how to get out of here."

"Shepard!" Tali suddenly screamed.

Shepard looked up and saw a geth trooper advancing on Ashley, just beginning to stir. Wrex and Tali were attempting to make their way to the Alliance solider but the geth kept up a heavy stream of fire. Alenko was ducking around the juggernaut, using his biotics to confuse it and trip it up. But Ashley could only weakly reach for her pistol, defenseless. "No!" Shepard shouted, rushing at the barrier again. But though she slammed her fists against it, nothing happened.

But before her eyes, one of the mining vehicles came to life and sped toward them, full speed. "Watch out!" Liara yelled, running and leaping at Shepard, wrapping a barrier around the pair of them as the vehicle rammed into two geth peppering Tali, the one advancing on Ashley, and then into the barrier. It flickered but did not die, unlike the geth troopers.

Garrus climbed out of the top, looking a little dazed but pleased with himself. "Your style is infectious Shepard," he said, picking off one more geth with his rifle. Alenko rushed to cover Ashley and threw a warp at the remaining trooper, the juggernaut now in pieces beside him.

In the silence after battle, this strange group of soldiers assembled before her: Tali with her shotgun on her shoulder, Garrus with his hand against his mining vehicle, Alenko helping Ashley to her feet, Wrex surveying the damage proudly. Shepard stood slowly, the image somewhat profound though she could not explain why. Liara approached the barrier, one hand raised to touch it and then pulled back, looking back at the commander. With six pairs of eyes on her, Shepard felt something settle into place. This random assortment of humans and aliens alike suddenly became her people.

"So, do you feel like inviting the rest of us to the party?" Garrus asked wryly, eyeing the barrier.

"I don't know, you look like trouble," Shepard replied, some of the panic she hadn't realized she'd held inside her releasing. She wiped at the streaming blood coming from her nose and winced. Chakwas would need to reset her nose it seemed.

"What about biotics?" Liara asked suddenly, her eyes lighting up with discovery. "You had a barrier up when you passed through the shield." She went up to the Prothean shield, her entire body glowing gently with the natural biotics of the asari.

But she snatched her hand back from the shield with a cry. "That hurt!" she exclaimed, rubbing her hand.

"I didn't see you go flying into a boulder," said Ashley grumpily, one hand against her head.

"How you doing Ash?" asked Shepard, stepping closer to the barrier with concern.

"I'll be fine Skipper, nothing the good doctor can't fix," she said.

"What about your biotics Shepard?" asked Alenko, stepping closer to examine the shield. "When you passed through…you changed. At least your biotics did."

"They were green," Shepard said quietly. Her stomach churned. Why were events conspiring that she was being forced to use her biotics over and over again? Where she used biotics, tragedy tended to follow.

"Try it with me Shepard," said Garrus, stepping forward, his blue eyes watching her intently. "Pull me through the barrier."

"I don't know if you want to do that Vakarian," said Ashley, eyeing the barrier warily.

"The only other way out is through the Prothean elevator," said Liara, as if she were apologizing for the construction done 50,000 year before.

Shepard watched Garrus, still somewhat wary. He just nodded at her and waited. With a deep breath, Shepard let her biotics flow over and around her body again and stepped seamlessly through the barrier. Where her body touched the shield, it glowed green. Everyone stared, wide-eyed, but Garrus kept his eyes on her. She wrapped him in her barrier and he walked through the shield.

He smirked at Shepard as he sauntered along the white metal tiles, his gaze snagging on the destroyed panel. He glanced back over his shoulder and picked up his sniper rifle where it had fallen to the floor. "I'll be taking this back, by the way."

* * *

One by one Shepard pulled her team through the shield. They stood on the ancient elevator, felt the cavern rumble around them as it protested the unaccustomed movement. When the krogan mercenary and his squad of geth attempted to block their exit, Alenko and Wrex protected Liara while Shepard, Garrus, Tali and the somewhat recovered Ashley blasted their way through. And then as the cavern began to crumble around them, disturbed by the movement of the ancient elevator, Shepard chased her team up the mineshaft, wrapping Ashley's arm over her shoulders when the adrenaline wore off and left her struggling.

Joker's sarcastic comments were barely heard on the comm as they breached the surface ahead of the dust cloud and demonic screeching coming from the earth below them. The team gratefully climbed aboard their ship but as she walked up the gangway, Shepard glanced back. Liara T'Soni stood for a moment more looking at the remains of the mineshaft, her beloved ruins buried beneath layers of rubble and rock. The expression of loss on her face cut to Shepard's heart. Her life's work was in ruins before her; she had been hunted and attacked and exposed to a violence Shepard guessed she was not accustomed. Gently she reached out and led Matriarch Benezia's daughter to her new home.

* * *

Shepard stood under the rush of the hot water, letting it course over her battered and sore body. Bruises and cuts she could not even remember getting were scattered along her arms and legs. Her nose had been reset by Chakwas; she would hardly even have a bump. But other effects lasted longer.

Marion Shepard slumped to the floor of her shower, wrapping her arms around her knees and letting the hot water beat against her back. What the hell had happened in those ruins? Why did she get through the barrier with her biotics and no one else could? Why was she even _using _her biotics? She remembered sharing that night on Akuze with Ashley and shivered. For years she had clamped down her biotics, refused to let them out. Now she was being forced to bring them back into combat. Shepard knew she'd be lying to herself if it didn't make her feel a little nauseous.

But Garrus had trusted her so implicitly, letting her experiment with bringing him through the barrier. He had been so composed, had made it seem like the easiest thing in the world. But it was _not _easy. Shepard struggled to accept him, struggled to put aside her dislike of his entire species so she could make this crew work. He had trusted her and her power, but Shepard felt like she couldn't even trust herself.

Just look at Benezia's daughter! Hardly the ally of Saren she had been half-expecting. When they had gotten onboard the ship, Liara's blue skin had suddenly paled, a slim hand going to her crest. Alenko had had to half-carry her to Chakwas to be treated for shock and dehydration. Turned out she had been trapped in that sphere for almost an entire day. Shepard could only hope that with some rest, Liara would be able to give them a lead on Saren and his Reapers. All she knew now was that she needed to scour the Traverse for hints of his presence. Perhaps Tali could trace geth signatures…

Shepard was still pondering her next step as she stepped out of her quarters, absentmindedly running a towel over her damp hair. Her crew wandered through the mess, some with datapads in their hands, others talking animatedly. There was a hum of energy to this ship that Shepard had never felt before on her previous postings. She nodded and smiled at a few crewmen as she dropped her towel down the laundry chute. Grabbing an energy bar, Shepard hopped onto the elevator, her mind spinning with possibilities. She almost didn't notice Garrus standing in the corner until he said her name.

She jumped and then shook her head at herself, slightly embarrassed. "How can someone so large be so stealthy?" she asked, taking a bite of her snack.

Garrus chuckled, the deep resonance of his subvocals surprisingly pleasing. "You might be the first person to think me stealthy. Normally I pioneer the Shepard method and just blast my way through a problem."

"Well on my team, only one person is allowed to blast through problems, so you are just going to have to adapt."

"I think I've been doing fairly well on that end." He paused for a moment and then crossed his arms, appearing nonchalant. "You seem to be adapting as well."

Shepard swallowed her bite and watched him, her eyes narrowing slightly but she said nothing. Garrus continued on doggedly. "I mean, having me around seems to be less of an issue lately. And your biotics…"

"Keep going with that sentence and having you around will become an issue again," warned Shepard, her body tensing.

"You pulled me through that barrier. You glowed green! There's something going on that you can't ignore," he pushed.

"Enough Vakarian," barked Shepard. "When I want to discuss something private and personal with you, I'll let you know. Until then, I suggest you drop this topic."

"So you'll discuss Akuze with Ashley Williams and welcome Matriarch Benezia's daughter onto your ship, but I try to raise an important…"

"I have not welcomed her!" Shepard paused, swallowing hard as she tried to lower her voice. "But considering she practically collapsed when she came onboard this ship, I need to make sure she is healthy before I start the inquisition. Your concern is noted Vakarian. Why don't we agree to treat her as a guest and keep a close eye on her?"

The turian stared at her for a moment, and then relaxed back against the wall. From the way his mandibles lifted, Shepard realized it was his version of a smile. "What?" she asked, her eyebrow quirked.

"You really are getting used to me," he said, his tone teasing, the deep tone resonating in the elevator almost proud. "I was expecting a major Shepard blow-up but you're fairly calm. You know, for Shepard."

That got a surprised laugh out of her as the elevator doors slid open. The pair walked toward the comm room side by side. "I guess we're just shattering expectations all over the place today," she commented through a mouthful.

* * *

The newfound amity did not spread to the rest of the team. During the debrief, Ashley snapped at Liara every chance she could, the chief's intense distrust and dislike easily apparent. Liara looked close to tears, though she tried to ignore the chief and focus on the commander. She certainly seemed fascinated by Shepard, watching her with obvious curiosity.

She also seemed completely baffled as to why Saren's minions would be after her…though not surprised by her mother's involvement. "I haven't spoken to my mother in years. I did not pursue a path that she approved of. But even in our limited recent contact she has seemed…different." Her dark blue eyebrows furrowed as she spoke, her mind at work.

"What about the Conduit? Have you come across that in your study of the Protheans?" asked Shepard, watching the asari intently.

"The Conduit? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that term," said Liara, somewhat apologetically.

"How convenient," muttered Ashley.

"Can it Williams," ordered Shepard, keeping her focus on Liara. "Saren has gone rogue. We know he is searching for something called the Conduit. He has allied with the geth and believes this Conduit can help him and the geth bring back the Reapers."

During this explanation there was not a twitch of recognition from Liara's face. She continued to look more and more baffled. "Conduit? And Reapers? I'm sorry but I am confused. How does this relate to the Protheans?"

"We believe that the Reapers wiped out the Protheans 50,000 years ago," explained Shepard, though a hint of doubt remained in her head. "Saren wants to bring them back and exterminate us."

"What?" Liara's face was astounded, then annoyed. "I have been studying the Prothean extinction for 50 years. I have never heard or seen mention of these Reapers. And I have heard every theory out there, based on the minute evidence that has been left behind. I think their extinction has happened before, to other species. I have almost no evidence to back up my cyclical theory. I had hoped that cavern you found me in might provide some answers." She looked sad at the thought of her lost knowledge.

Shepard decided to deal with the whole '50 years studying the Protheans' subject for another time. "I encountered a working Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It showed me visions of a race of sentient machines, destroying organics. I think it was these Reapers eradicating the Protheans." A very loud silence filled the comm room. Liara stared at Shepard, stunned speechless.

"Visions…yes, of course! Beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user…but you are not Prothean! The mind meld wouldn't have worked properly! It's amazing you weren't killed."

Shepard rubbed her head. "That headache certainly tried."

"Don't be modest Shepard," said Alenko. "That thing lifted her into the air and tried to rip her apart. And when it exploded…" He looked away and bowed his head. "It could have been a lot worse."

"Commander, these visions…are they something I might see? I would love to examine them," said Liara, that scientific curiosity lighting up the room.

"Sorry Liara, but an asari mind meld is not how I want to end my day," remarked Shepard sarcastically.

"Can we get back to figuring out whether you're going to actually be of use on this mission?" asked Ashley, her arms crossed.

Shepard rounded on the chief, her presence suddenly filling the space in an unidentifiable way. Her force of will was such that everyone knew exactly what she was ordering. Williams stood and saluted, stone-faced, then walked out of the comm room. Her nostrils slightly flared with annoyance, Shepard turned her gaze back to Liara. "Can you be of any help finding your mother or Saren?"

Liara shook her head, her mouth pursed. "I had never heard much about Saren before today. And like I said, my mother and I haven't spoken in years. But if you think they might be connected to the Protheans somehow, I would ask that you allow me to remain onboard your ship. My knowledge might be useful."

"And her biotics," suggested Garrus.

Shepard shot him a look but made no mention of her discussion in the elevator regarding Liara as a 'guest.' Instead she stuck her hand out for the scientist to shake. "I'm glad to have you on the team doctor," said Shepard. "I'll give some files for you to look at. Perhaps you can work with Officer Vakarian to find our next lead, since he has been so speedy in providing one." Garrus' mandibles flapped in irritation until he read the humor in Shepard's blue gray eyes.

"I would also enjoy the chance to observe your species Commander," added Liara suddenly, her voice energetic with the possibility of more discovery. "I've had such little interaction with humans; it would be a great opportunity."

Shepard and Alenko turned to stare at the asari, her face innocent and open. Finally Alenko burst out laughing, leaving Liara puzzled. "I am so glad Ashley wasn't here to hear that," he chuckled.

"Oh don't worry Kaidan, I'll pass it along," said Joker over the comm. "That's too good to miss."

"Don't you dare," Shepard warned. She turned to face the door, the amusement fading to something harder. "But that reminds me I have something else to take care of."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you think! I hope to update again next Friday!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Happy Friday! I stuck to a self-imposed deadline! Enjoy.**

**All rights belong to Bioware. I'm just taking a spin through their universe.**

* * *

Chapter 12

Though Shepard wanted to chase down Ashley first and figure out what the hell had just happened, duty called. She endured a meeting with the Council, listened to the turian berate her for destroying ancient Prothean ruins and tell her how to keep an eye on Liara, and managed not to hit the disconnect button. By the time they were done, the rhythm of the ship was slowing down for the night as they made their way back through the relays toward the Citadel.

Checking the cargo hold and the crew quarters proved fruitless, unless one counted the glimpse of Alenko toweling off his wet hair. Her stomach did a little flip flop at the sight but she forced herself to refocus on her mission. There were rules against fraternization for a reason.

She had just about given up when she walked past the medbay and saw Ashley sitting on a pallet, talking to Dr. Chakwas. Shepard strode in and the conversation halted. Ashley looked at the floor but Chakwas nodded serenely. "Commander. How's the nose?"

"As good as new Doc, thanks," said Shepard, her eyes not leaving the still form on the cot. "Can I have a moment with the chief?"

"Certainly Commander. I'm going to see if there's any dessert left in the mess." She chuckled at Shepard's raised eyebrows. "Despite all my medical knowledge, I've never found the cure for a sweet tooth."

Shepard laughed as the doctor left, but as the doors slid shut, the light feeling disappeared. She let the silence settle, fill the lightly lit space until the chief began to squirm uncomfortably. "Care to explain what went on during the debrief Chief?" asked the commander, assuming that persona that left no room for confusion about who she was. This was Commander Shepard, survivor of Akuze, Council Spectre. Williams responded instinctively, standing up to stand at rest, forcing her eyes to meet Shepard's.

"I was out of line Commander. It won't happen again," said Williams stoically, her voice proper.

"I want to know why it happened in the first place." In the silence that filled the air again, Shepard sighed. Her face softened, melting into someone else. Still a leader but more human. She moved to sit beside Ashley on her pallet, staring at the opposite wall. "Perhaps it's my fault. And, it just about kills me to admit this," Shepard added, an ironic twist to her smile, "I think Vakarian was right. I haven't set a good example to this crew about how we deal with each other."

"Shepard…"

"No, let me finish," said Shepard. She paused, watching her hands clench and unclench. "We all have reasons for acting the way we do. I shared with you some of the reasons why I am the way I am. I'm not asking you to do the same. But I'm starting to see that we can let those reasons define us or take action to overcome the limitations they place on us. I'm not saying it's easy, but it might be necessary. I'm no saint, and I probably won't listen to my own advice, but I hope you will. So I have an assignment for you Ashley." She turned to make sure the chief was listening before continuing. "I want you to think about why today happened like it happened. And then I want you to watch Liara T'Soni."

The chief's eyes widened. "Do you mean…"

"I don't think Liara is a sleeper agent for Saren. I think she is a young woman, by asari standards anyway, who has been forced into a world I'm not sure she's ready for or comfortable in. But I also believe in being cautious. And I trust your judgment. So keep an eye on her for me. And if in a few weeks you still see her as a threat, then I will deposit her to the Council's safekeeping. Can you do that for me Chief?"

The use of her military title made Ashley nod sharply, a glimmer of a smile lurking on her face. "Will do Skipper."

"Dismissed Chief." Within a minute, Dr. Chakwas wandered back in, brushing her hands absently as if expecting to have to perform surgery any second. Shepard smirked. "No one to patch up at the moment Doctor."

"How will I survive the boredom?" asked Dr. Chakwas, settling into her desk. "May I just say Commander you have a way with people."

Shepard's disagreement with that was apparent. "No it's true. Whether you see it or not. Your crew responds to you, disparate and different though they may be. Speaking of your crew, I have invited the newest member to share my quarters." She pointed at the door leading off of the medbay and Shepard felt sudden nerves that she had been overheard. Her orders to Ashley had been an attempt to force the chief to see the asari without the blinders on. But if Liara had overheard, it would have been easy to misinterpret.

Chakwas shook her head. "She's still in the showers. Something about getting ancient dust out of her crest. But I thought she might be uncomfortable amongst the regular crew members. My cabin is out of the way and quiet."

"That's kind of you Doctor. Thank you." She shook her head and clapped her hand on the doctor's shoulder. "You should take my job for a few days, get us all to act like civilized human beings again."

Shepard started to head out but paused at the quiet sound of the doctor's voice. "I don't think it's human beings so much as…_beings_, Commander." The spark of anger that lit Shepard's chest was unworthy of the sentiment the good doctor sought to impart. So she merely nodded tightly and headed to her own quarters. She could only thank whatever higher power was out there that she did not run into Garrus Vakarian again.

* * *

That night Shepard curled up in her bed, reading through her messages, responding to her mother again, filling her in as much as she could, then catching up on news coming through on the Alliance News Network. The attempts to distract herself from the complicated events of the day were only mildly successful. They had Liara but she hadn't provided the answers she had been hoping for. Now they would have to comb the Traverse for clues until Liara or Garrus figured out the next lead. Meanwhile Saren was doing God knew what, getting closer to the Conduit, to these Reapers. And then there was the whole "falling-through-the-barrier" thing. That was a whole can of worms she could not even begin to contemplate.

So instead she put down the holo, unleashed her hair from her tie, and then pulled out the picture of the infant Nate. She traced his cheek with one finger, smiling softly. "I may not know a lot right now, but at least I know you're safe," she said quietly, tucking the holo back beneath her pillow. "Good night Nate."

* * *

Fire. Blood. Screaming. Shepard wandered through a destroyed city, flashing from point to point on an unfamiliar street. Figures streaked past her, their features blurry but their horror evident. Shepard stood still as chaos flowed around her. The blood pounded through her body as their panic began to grow in her. Above her vast machines moved, exterminating everything before it. Words were shouted but they were hard to hear, almost indecipherable. But one word came through clearly, again and again and again. _Reapers_.

One of those machines turned a beady red eye on her. Shepard's feet were rooted to the ground as it burned her. She screamed.

* * *

She woke up, launching herself out of bed, instinctively reaching for her weapon. Sweat covered her body and had soaked her sheets. She dropped her arm and sank into her armchair, cradling her head in her hands. Sleep would not be returning that night. After changing into a dry tank top, Shepard left her room, and hopefully the nightmares, behind.

She had been sitting in the mess, cradling a cup of coffee and letting the steam curl around her face. Her thoughts were sluggishly spinning in her head, revolving around her nightmare, the Prothean barrier, and an innocent blue face.

The air moved beside her but Shepard felt no alarm. She just raised her head gently to see Alenko sitting across from her, his eyes small from sleep, but his mouth crooked in a smile. "Didn't peg you for an early bird Commander," he said. "Haven't seen you out here before anyway."

"I'm not normally. Anyone who voluntarily gets up before 6AM has to have more than a little crazy in them." She raised an eyebrow at Alenko as she said this and he chuckled, raspy with the early morning.

"I've never been one to sleep in. Always so much to do, to practice. Never kicked the habit after Basic." He let the silence settle for a moment as Shepard sipped her coffee, making a face at the bitterness. They would need to pick up some more supplies on the Citadel. "Everything all right Commander?" he asked quietly, linking his hands on the table before him.

She thought about not responding, but his brown eyes were so open, so non-judgmental, that it was hard to resist. "Do you ever have nightmares, Alenko?" she finally asked, letting some of her exhaustion sink into her voice and posture.

He nodded slowly, his posture otherwise still. "I think it's part of the unavoidable cost of being who we are, Commander," Alenko said thoughtfully.

"Shepard," she corrected with a quick smile. But that faded as she stared into her coffee. "So who are we, Philosopher Alenko?"

He did not respond to her half-hearted joke. Instead his eyes looked off into a distance she could not follow and he said quietly, "I think we are more than the parts we're made of. Sometimes, when we use every gift and every mistake and every piece of us we have, we somehow become…something more than ourselves. And there's a cost to that. I know that, and I think you do too if nightmares are sending you out here at 4:30 in the morning to talk to me."

"Well there's a silver lining in every cloud." They shared a smile and Alenko got up to make himself a cup of coffee. They stayed like that, sharing the peace, until Wrex came blundering through the mess like a blind rhinocerous in search of food. With a quiet laugh, the pair split to prepare for the day.

* * *

Though her sense of peace and balance was restored by the early morning talk, leaving the ship proved up to the desk of destroying it. Waiting for her on the docks was Admiral Mikhailovich, grumpy, surly, and demanding a tour of the Normandy. It did not help matters that Kaidan and Garrus had walked out behind her, intent on enjoying a bit of shoreleave. However the pair paused and stood by the commander as she sought to stem the flow of complaints coming from the admiral. Garrus for one waited to hear her explode, wondering when she was going to use her superior status as a Spectre.

But she continued to stand and listen, seeking to calm the admiral and defend her position aboard the Normandy. It quickly became apparent that the admiral harbored a great deal of bitterness. The fact that she and the Normandy had been due to join his fleet after Eden Prime was a surprise and she could not help but thank the forces of fate for keeping her away from his command. However explaining the advantages of having an Alliance soldier as a Spectre fell on deaf ears. She was not even going to touch his complaints that the Normandy was "an overworked piece of tin" that "wouldn't hold up in a fight." Shepard led him onto the ship and tuned out most of his blathering. She did notice that Kaidan and Garrus returned to the ship with her and followed the tour at a discrete distance.

They had exited the ship and were back to standing on the dock. Mikhailovich seemed to be wrapping up his rant and Shepard was breathing an internal sigh of relief when the conversation took an unwelcome turn.

"We need to talk about your crew Commander," he said, steely gray eyes darting behind her with disapproval.

Shepard straightened, her posture tensing. "Sir?" she said, her voice barely respectful.

"Krogan, asari, a quarian? And a turian?" He eyed Garrus with frank dislike. "And they all have free access to the ship? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that they are members of my crew, not prisoners aboard my ship," she shot back, surprising herself with the vehemence in her voice.

The admiral's squat face deepened with dislike. "Watch your tone Commander," he said. "You are still an Alliance soldier…"

"And not under your authority. I respect the uniform and the man inside it but I am a Council Spectre. This is a Specte vessel. How I choose to run that ship is no longer any of your concern." Though her words were harsh, her expression was not. Shepard watched the admiral with a mix of grudging respect, wariness, and just a dash of irritation. It was a look only she seemed able to master. "My crew are competent, Admiral. They are hand-picked because they bring something to this mission that I need. And in the end, the mission is what matters. We both want Saren brought to justice for what he did. We both want to protect the Alliance. I have a unique way to do that Admiral. I'd appreciate it if we could stay on the same side…and avoid insulting my squad in the process."

Commander Marion Shepard stood there, her arms held loosely by her side, her gaze direct and open. The admiral stared, taken aback. Kaidan kept his face straight, though the urge to grin was hard to ignore. Garrus felt no such compulsion so he smiled at the admiral, his visor reading the man's elevated heart rate from anger. But then it slowed and Mikhailovich's face calmed. With a great "hrumph," he saluted and marched away, leaving the little trio behind.

Shepard turned slowly to face the team at her back, a rueful smile pulling at her scars. "I'm the only one allowed to insult my team," she said with a shrug. But her making light of the situation did not diminish how important that moment was to Garrus Vakarian. He knew he would forever remember that day, with this irritable, impulsive, judgmental commander of his protecting her own, making him feel like one of them. So when she turned grimly to her next order of business, it wasn't even a question of what he would do. He followed.

* * *

Meeting with Admiral Kahoku was just as difficult as she had imagined. The admiral sat at his desk, stone-faced as she reported what they had found. She found she could not share his sense of stoic calm. Her heartbeat sped up as she recalled the events. It was more of a struggle than it should have been not to mix up Akuze with Edolus.

"We found them near the distress beacon. It was a trap. They were attacked by a thresher maw." Her throat closed up and she fought to clear it.

Kaidan stepped in, glancing at the commander. "Your men had no warning Admiral. Someone set them up."

"Did you encounter the maw?" Kahoku asked, his voice hoarse but eyes focused.

Shepard swallowed tightly. Standing behind her only Garrus could see how tightly her hands were clenched, the faint tremor that ran through them. "Yes sir," she answered, managing to keep her tone even. "My team and I were better prepared as we had…well, I had experience."

"The commander jumped from a ledge to take down that thing," added Kaidan. "Her presence made the difference."

"I believe you," said the admiral, his hands steepled before his face. "I appreciate your investigation of this matter Commander. With your copy of the report, I should be able to pursue some leads. My team deserves answers. Damnit, _I _deserve answers."

"Will you keep me posted Admiral?" asked Shepard suddenly. Those hands clenched again. "This case…well, I have an interest. And if you find who did this, I want to be there," she added darkly.

The admiral held out his hand. "It's a deal."

* * *

Outside the admiral's office, Shepard leaned against the railing, watching the ships come in to dock. Deep cleansing breaths slowly made the nightmares of the past fade away. "Are you all right Commander?" asked Kaidan gently.

She turned and gave a half-hearted smile. "I'll be fine. Thank you…thank you _both_ for coming," she said, with a look at Garrus.

He dipped his head a little, those bright blue eyes laser focused as always. "Anytime Shepard," his voice deep.

Her attention back on the passing ships, Shepard said, "I'm going to enjoy the rest of this day. I suggest you two do the same. And if Liara T'Soni leaves the ship, make sure a member of the ground team stays with her. I don't think she'll run, but Saren's men might make another try for her."

Kaidan and Garrus headed off to find whatever entertainment there was or fulfill whatever errands they needed. Shepard scrubbed her face with her hands and then stood up. Food first, requisitioning supplies next, then planning her meeting with the mysterious purveyor of information.

It was then the proverbial lightbulb went off above her head. She grinned predatorily and slapped the railing with triumph. "I know who you are, you sneaky bastard." This small victory coursed through her system, washing away the lingering feelings of sadness and panic. In celebration, Shepard resolved to visit the theatre district before she headed back to the ship.

* * *

Her belly full, errands accomplished, plotting done, Shepard settled into her seat at the small blackbox theatre, program in hand. She had purchased a small cap, her Bruins hat forgotten in her cabin. Now she settled it on her head and relaxed into her seat, waiting for the all-human production of _Fiddler on the Roof_ to begin. She was already humming the music to herself when she noticed a bulky figure settling into a seat a few rows ahead. Her eyes narrowed and then widened in shock. Was that…it couldn't be. Still, she tugged her cap lower and sat further down in her seat, determined to see her show and avoid the awkwardness.

But fate was not to be on her side. Trying to scoot out of the lobby in the after performance crush, Shepard saw him, towering over most of the crowd. And then he spotted her. Garrus Vakarian and Marion Shepard stared at each other across the mass of humans and asari, with some turians and hanar scattered about. Her mouth gaped open at first, ears flaming red with embarrassment. She knew his visor would be reading her vitals, able to see her reaction in clear scientific terms. But shock was also clearly written across Garrus' features, his mandibles fluttering.

After a moment of indecision, Shepard marched up to the turian, thoughts racing furiously. He watched her approach, her very being vibrating with energy. Her black hair was tucked up beneath her cap, blue gray eyes blazing in a tanned face. Garrus was slowly getting better at reading human facial expressions, but her look of embarrassed fury was unmistakable. She stopped before the apparently frozen Garrus, her eyes looking at his chest rather than his face. "I never saw you here. And you never saw me here. We will speak of this to no one. Ever. Am I understood?" When the silence lasted too long, she looked up at him with a ferocious glare. Garrus nodded quickly, lost for words.

The two shared another wordless moment. Then Shepard fled.

* * *

**I will plan on another update for next Friday. I know that there are many people reading and following this story every week. I appreciate your support! Please leave a review for me. Hearing your thoughts is encouraging and lets me know what I'm doing right and where I should improve. As a first time ME fanfic writer, it is so great to hear your voices! See you next week!  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Happy Friday! This chapter is a little shorter than usual. It was either post something on time, or get delayed until Monday. I thought you'd prefer an update :) See you at the bottom!**

**All copyright belongs to Bioware. I'm just taking a spin through their universe.**

* * *

Chapter 13

Shepard managed to avoid Garrus for the rest of the night aboard the Normandy. This was mostly because she hid in her room, going through reports, looking through research for leads, and resolutely not wondering why Garrus Vakarian, tough former C-Sec officer turian that he was, had voluntarily attended a performance of _Fiddler on the Roof_. She would have been embarrassed to see Kaidan or Ashley there but it was even worse to know _the turian_ had been there.

All of this 'not wondering' distracted Shepard for several hours as her meeting with her informative benefactor drew closer. Her holos took over her desk area as she looked through their emails and made notes on their face-to-face encounter. She was perturbed by the idea of a "mutually beneficial arrangement" and the desire to "retain her services." Coupled with the undertones of warning, Shepard could feel her mind turning through the various possible outcomes of tomorrow's meeting. She had scoped out Cala's Café before the disastrous musical event; it was clean, well-to-do, strategically placed near a major street, making it easy to disappear in a crowd. It also made assassinations easier to plan.

Shepard sat at her desk, hands folded beneath her chin, eyes glazing over as she strategized. The best solution worked itself out in her head. Though she would have preferred to march over there herself and deal with this, she knew such an option was less than intelligent. She sighed, tossing the holos aside. "I have no luck today," she muttered. Then she got up and headed down to the cargo bay.

* * *

Garrus Vakarian was cleaning his armor, letting his mind drift with the routine. But his visor picked up the distinctive signature of the woman walking toward him and he jumped up, immediately alarmed. Shepard's expression looked less than happy, even grim, her black hair escaping from her…bun? Wasn't that what humans called that look?

Shepard stopped a few feet from him, arms crossed, foot tapping. She cleared her throat, her eyes on the ground. "I have…an important meeting tomorrow. I could use certain of your skills."

His mandibles flapped briefly but he fought to keep still and keep the curiosity from his voice. "Any way I can help Commander," he replied, his voice carefully neutral. "But I'm going to need more information."

At that she looked up, frowning. "You're going to need your sniper rifle," she said, her foot still tapping, obviously uncomfortable.

Garrus picked up on the seriousness of the situation and put down his polished chest plate. His blue eyes were laser focused on her. "What's the situation?" he asked. Shepard raised an eyebrow at the change in his demeanor; this was the driven C-Sec officer who had gone after Saren with next to nothing to go on.

"I was given information about Liara's whereabouts. I am meeting my source tomorrow and there seems to be an expectation that I return the favor. I don't know what that entails and I certainly don't trust this person as far as I could kick his ass down the Citadel." Garrus snorted but said nothing. He refused to make this easy for her.

And she knew it. With a growl of her own, she unfolded her arms and glared. "I want you there, gun trained and ready. If this thing goes south, I want someone with a good aim on my six. Can you do that?"

"Are you asking me to do you a favor Commander?" asked Garrus, playing innocent.

"I'm asking a member of my squad to cover my back," Shepard said through gritted teeth. "If you make me jump through any more hoops I swear Vakarian I'll give your sniper to Wrex to use as a toothpick."

Garrus held up his hands with a grin, his mandibles fluttering. "Ok ok Shepard. I'll be there. I've got you covered," he agreed.

She nodded though she suddenly looked more uptight now that business was over. Garrus recalled the shifting stance from earlier that day and suddenly became somewhat uncomfortable himself. "Shepard…about earlier…" he said hesitantly.

But she merely forced a sardonic smile and shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about Vakarian," she said. "I haven't seen you since Kahoku's office. Now if you'd like to discuss either of the meetings with Alliance admirals today I am all ears."

Garrus cocked his head. "All ears?" he repeated, looking confused. His eyes subtly scanned her body, as if expecting to see another ear canal elsewhere.

At that Shepard burst out laughing, making several crewmembers including Ashley glance up from their business. Shepard stifled the sound by thrusting her forearm into her mouth. Garrus watched, equal parts amused and bewildered by her mirth. After a moment she stopped, leaning against the Mako as she caught her breath. "I'm sorry, it's just been…such a strange day," she explained, her face bright. "Dealing with that ignorant Mikhailovich, then breaking the news in person to Kahoku, then…well, everything else," she waved her hand, her cheeks reddening. Garrus wondered what that coloring meant with humans and resolved to file it away for later.

"So humans laugh when they've had busy days?" he asked.

Shepard thought for a moment and then shrugged. "That's as good an explanation as any," she replied, not wanting to go into the various levels of stress she had encountered that day. "Meet at 1300 tomorrow. We can go over details. Just be ready for anything."

* * *

Shepard sat at a table, an untouched cup of coffee in front of her. Kaidan sat not far away, his eyes flickering around the café. If these people were as good as Shepard expected, they would know she had back-up. That was why Kaidan sat in the open, seemingly unarmed. She trusted that if things turned out badly his biotic abilities and Garrus' sniper rifle would be enough, added to her own sizable combat abilities.

So she waited, slumped in her chair, arms crossed, and eyes watching each face that passed her.

Socrates Welch strolled in, precisely on time, two new lunkies with him. His muscular physique contrasted with his craggy face and shock of white hair. He gave off the distinct impression that he would not take kindly to being underestimated.

Despite the less than pleasant undertones to their conversations, he had yet to do something that marked him as a clear enemy. Antagonizing him was (not yet) in her best interests. So Shepard stood and shook his hand, smiling blandly. "Socrates is an interesting name," she said, gesturing to the seat across from her.

A corner of his mouth lifted in a sparse imitation of a smile. "My mother had a healthy respect for the ancients in addition to a sense of humor," he replied, sitting slowly, his eyes scanning the area. They lit on Kaidan and he nodded, unsurprised. "Where's the rest of your crew Commander?"

"Oh out and about," she said carelessly, though her focused gaze belied the airy tone in her voice.

Socrates nodded once and then spread his hands on the table. "So you found the good doctor," he said, making it a statement not a question.

The fact that he knew this, despite Liara's never having left the ship, made Shepard uneasy but there was no trace of it in her demeanor. She just widened her smile. "We did, thanks to your helpful lead. I assume I have your employer to thank for that."

"You do," he agreed, watching her carefully. "I hope this has convinced you that we only mean to help in your mission…"

"All at a carefully arranged price, of course," she interrupted, her smile cooling.

"Nothing in life is free Shepard," Socrates said. "We could reach a mutually beneficial arrangement, one that will aid you significantly in your career as a Spectre. You stand on the precipice of greatness," he added, his voice hushed. "My employer recognizes this…"

"And so the Shadow Broker wishes to take advantage," said Shepard, her face carefully neutral as she gambled on the strange employer's identity.

Socrates' pause was a half-second too long. "Your instincts have always served you well," he acknowledged.

"I'm also fairly intelligent for a grunt," she answered cheerfully.

The Shadow Broker's agent did not speak for a moment, then abruptly stood. "I think we should continue the rest of this conversation in private," he said.

Shepard stood more slowly, eyeing the men who had come in with him with a question in her eyes. "Our teams can stay here I think," he answered. "Is there a problem with that?"

_Yes because then Garrus can't keep a sight lined up on your forehead_, she thought to herself. But instead she signaled Kaidan to stay and then headed out into the Wards without another word.

"The Shadow Broker cultivates contacts throughout the galaxy and through them buys and sells information. He's the most powerful information broker out there," said Socrates as they walked through the market. "He can be a powerful ally."

"But he won't help me stop Saren and put an end to this potential Reaper threat out of the goodness of his heart," said Shepard, her mind half on the conversation and half on the route they were taking, toward a more deserted section of the Wards.

"He's already done a favor for you by passing on Dr. T'Soni's whereabouts," Socrates nearly snapped. "The time for games is over."

"So why don't you just fess up what it is you want so I can get back to my ship," Shepard said, coming to a halt in the middle of the market. Various species flowed past them, an island in the middle of a fast flowing river. "Do you want me to pass important information on to you? Classified mission reports? Council dealings?"

Socrates weighed her with his gaze. "We buy and sell information. But you have a special skill set that makes you a particular asset to the Shadow Broker."

Shepard felt her skin go cold at the implications but fought to keep her face calm. "What is it you want Socrates? I have a rogue Spectre to catch."

"The Shadow Broker deals with galactic politics in many different ways. Information is one part of that, but sometimes more…_direct _measures are needed." Socrates crossed his arms and Shepard did not miss that one hand was now directly over his hip where she would be willing to bet the Normandy he had a hidden weapon.

"A mercenary," Shepard spat, her temper rising. "You think I want to be your hired thug? I am an Alliance officer and unlike Saren I take my oath as a Spectre seriously. My father died in the First Contact War! What are you thinking?"

"I think you want to be very careful what your next words are," he said quietly, his face settling into hardened lines. "The Shadow Broker is not an enemy you want to make. _I _am not an enemy you want to make. We gave you information. Now the Shadow Broker needs you to take care of something in exchange. This is how the world works."

"Yeah? Well that's not how my world works." Shepard stepped forward, fists clenched as she struggled to control the bursts of blue that wanted to ripple around her body. "You tell the Shadow Broker that I am not his puppet…"

"No you are a Spectre. You are not limited by jurisdiction. Your actions are unquestioned. I fail to see the problem."

"And that is exactly why it is a problem," whispered Shepard with a growl.

"You turn away from this Shepard and there will be consequences," responded Socrates, his heavy hanging brow threatening. "You used the information we offered. You owe us."

"But you forget." She smiled wickedly. "I'm a Spectre. I can do whatever I want."

Socrates' eyes flashed and then cooled. "Disappointing. That's what you are Shepard."

She shrugged, though her body still radiated anger. "I've been called worse. By people whose opinions actually matter." She stepped back and let her biotics flare just slightly around her hands. It went unnoticed among the crowd but she saw Socrates' eyes flicker to them. "We won't be seeing each other again."

Though it just about killed her to turn her back on an enemy, Shepard did just that, her ears sharp for sounds. That was how she heard his parting words. "Oh, I think we'll be in touch, _Rin_."

Shock flared through her body and she spun, a maelstrom of fear, panic and rage burning through her. Her biotics flared uncontrollably as the crowd scurried away from her, gasps and screams breaking out. "_What did you call me?_" she shouted, heart pounding.

But the crowd before her showed no sign of Socrates Welch.

* * *

**So who guessed that this was a Shadow Broker agent? What do you think is going to happen? Who is Rin? Would love to hear your theories! I'm also really interested in what you think of the pacing of the story. Is it moving too slowly? Just right? Your opinion matters! Reviews, comments, suggestions and questions are, as always, appreciated and loved!**

**See you next Friday with a longer than normal chapter!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello again! I know, a day late, but I had to do some re-writing. I'm plotting out how this story is going to twist and turn and while the planning will be great in the long run, it slows down production a little bit. But here it is! Thank you to everyone who has read this story and followed it or added it to their favorites and comments on it every week. Your support is so important and your opinions matter!**

**Ok on with the show. All copyright belongs to Bioware, I'm just taking a spin through their universe.**

* * *

Chapter 14

Shepard forced herself not to run back to the Normandy. However her quick stride through the Citadel and the occasional flickerings of biotic power made sure she had plenty of room to move. Outside Cala's Café Kaidan and Garrus were waiting, worry etched into their faces. Kaiden straightened quickly, eyes sweeping the area.

"Everything all right Commander?" he asked, the two squadmates falling into step beside her.

"Fine. Everything is fine," she said through gritted teeth, not looking in any direction but straight ahead.

"What happened Shepard?" questioned Garrus, his sniper rifle slung across his back. C-Sec officials eyed both it and him but with Shepard in the lead, they kept their distance.

"He had an offer I had to refuse. And now we need to leave," said Shepard shortly, slamming her hand on the elevator button back to the C-Sec Academy and their dock.

"Who was he? What did he want in exchange for the information?" pressed Kaidan, his eyes still scanning the area, senses on high alert.

"Not here," said Shepard, stepping into the elevator. She glanced up at a camera and then away. Kaidan and Garrus shared a look but remained silent.

Shepard stood completely still as the elevator moved downwards, but her mind raced. How had he found that name? She hadn't gone by Rin since she enlisted. Only one person had ever called her that and she had been careful to erase all connections. How the hell had this Shadow Broker found it? And, she thought with a shiver, if he knew that, what else did he know?

The doors slid open and Shepard stormed out…almost directly into a perfectly dressed woman, black hair bluntly cut around her chin, smooth brown skin, and a pursed mouth. Sharp black eyes lit up for a moment and then narrowed as the woman glided forward to intercept Shepard. "Khalisah bin Sinan al-Jilani, Westerlund News," she introduced herself, holding out a surprisingly mannish hand to shake. Shepard eyed it and then her, one eyebrow raised.

The reporter put her hand down undeterred. "Could I have a moment Commander? The first human Spectre: people back on Earth are dying to hear from you."

Suddenly the camera light came on from the bot hovering beside Khalisah. Shepard glared, first at it then at her. "Humanity has been waiting 26 years for recognition from the galactic community. Now you are the first human Spectre. What does your mother, Captain Shepard, think?"

Shepard hesitated but then figured giving this woman some answers would make her go away faster. "She's proud. I hope to do right by her and the Alliance," she said, settling into an easy stance.

"How about your father? He was killed in the First Contact War. Now his daughter is a Spectre, working on a warship co-designed by the turians…and you have Officer Garrus Vakarian as part of your crew. What would he think?" Khalisah watched Shepard's stunned reaction, a cold smile on her lips.

"I wouldn't know what my father thinks. He's dead," replied Shepard shortly, tensing again.

"There must be conflict for you, working with the turians," prodded Khalisah, eyeing Shepard and her crew. "And conflict too between Citadel and Alliance interests. How do you find balance?"

"By remembering that our goals are often one and the same. Saren is a danger not just to humanity, but to the galaxy," spat Shepard, her disgust rising.

"So you are chasing down Saren!" exclaimed Khalisah, her eyes glittering. "You can confirm that Saren, a former Spectre, has gone rogue? What threat does he pose to the galactic community?"

Shepard bit her tongue, literally. She had obviously said too much, and the longer they wasted time here, the less Shepard could spend on hunting down said monster and finding out how Socrates knew her old name.

"Excuse me, I have no further comments at this time." Shepard pushed past her, then swatted at the camera bot when it tried to follow. It spun away with a squeal, leaving Khalisah livid behind her.

"The people of Earth want answers Shepard! They expect accountability!" she called out as Shepard got into the elevator to the docks.

Once the doors slid shut around them, Shepard turned and slammed her fists against the wall. "Ignore her Shepard. C-Sec knows she likes to cause trouble. Barefaced reporter isn't worth the effort," said Garrus.

Though her fury from the day's events stayed with her, Shepard couldn't help but be curious about the expression. "Barefaced?" she repeated, clenching and unclenching her hands as she fought to calm down.

"It's what we call people who can't be trusted," he explained with a shrug. "We usually use it as slang for politicians. Someone without facial markings has no history, no colony. They hide who they are."

"Sounds about right," she commented, focusing on the swirls of color through the glass.

* * *

Shepard's dark cloud lifted somewhat when she arrived back at the Normandy. Liara waited for her in the CIC, holding a holo and looking drained. Shepard's expression made her want to cringe but she stepped forward anyway, holding out her holo. "Commander? I have something you might want to see," she said hesitantly.

"Not now Liara," snapped Shepard, ready to rush past her.

"This is not easy for me, Shepard!" said Liara loudly. The crew turned to look at her, surprised. Her tone made Shepard freeze for a moment before slowly turning. Liara glared at her, on the verge of tears but holding it together. "I don't know what you are going to do with this information, but I know I need to give it to you. So please just take it."

The CIC was quiet for a moment. "Comm room. Now." Shepard moved away, leaving Liara to follow in her wake. Kaidan whistled and shook his head as Tali approached.

"What happened Kaidan?" she asked quietly, her helmet tilted with curiosity and confusion. "Dr Chakwas said Liara has been pacing her room for over an hour and Shepard looks like a ghost. An angry ghost."

"Her meet did not go well," he said quietly, leading her toward the crew deck with Garrus behind them. "We may have a problem."

"Not like Liara is about to have," muttered Garrus.

* * *

"What the hell was that Dr. T'Soni?" demanded Shepard, spinning on the asari as she entered the room. The blue light surrounded Shepard's body like a fake biotic cloud. Her crossed arms and steel blue gaze, hidden in the shadows of her face, made Liara feel as if she were facing some mythical asari legend.

In the silence Shepard stepped forward, the sudden light on her face revealing the tension of a very human woman. It gave Liara the courage to say, "I heard from my mother."

"You what?" Shepard's face changed, suddenly alight with the possibility of a lead.

Wordlessly Liara passed the holo. Shepard took it eagerly, poring over the short message.

"Liara...it is….it is _so powerful_. He…not and…the ship! And then…REAPERS. Please Liara I cannot…Shepard….

Help."

Shepard looked up slowly, her excitement tempered. "What is this?" she asked quietly.

Liara shook her head, looking lost. "I wish I could say. I don't understand what she is trying to say. It is so unlike her to be anything less than articulate. But what does come through is…disturbing."

"She mentions the Reapers. She knows something. Do you know where to find her?"

Liara swallowed but nodded. "I already traced the message. It came from the Horse Head Nebula, the Pax system. She's on Noveria."

"Noveria? That place is locked down with all their damn trading restrictions," murmured Shepard, reading and re-reading the message, momentarily distracted from the day's events.

"I guess being a Spectre will help in this instance," said Liara with a half-smile.

Shepard glanced up, reading the tension in the young woman beside her. "Your mother is allied with Saren," Shepard said seriously. "I need to find her, interrogate her, and make sure she's not a threat. She could lead us to Saren."

Liara bowed her head and then nodded. "I know. We have to find her. But…she's my mother Shepard." The wide blue eyes that looked up at her seemed bottomless. "Please don't make me regret giving this to you."

* * *

Stepping back into her room returned Shepard's sense of urgency. Joker already had the coordinates to Noveria; it would take eighteen hours to reach Noveria. She rushed to her pillow, tossing it aside with her heart pounding. The holo of Nate still lay there, his sleepy baby face serene and peaceful. She lay a hand on it, trying to ignore how her fingers trembled. How much did the Shadow Broker know? No one had called her Rin since she was eighteen, not since…Cleon. She sighed, putting Nate's holo away. She hadn't thought about Cleon for a long time. If they knew Rin, then they knew Cleon.

Shepard sat down at her desk, fingers tapping on the top of it. With her resources, she could find him, maybe warn him…and then make sure Nate was safe. But if Socrates knew about him, then surely he would have said so. And she did not owe Cleon anything. He had made sure of that.

Still, glancing over at her pillow, wouldn't the security be worth it? She sighed again, this time with frustration. She was chasing a rogue Spectre, haunted by dreams of monstrous machines destroying organic life, in command of the most advanced warship in the galaxy. And the thought of finding the boy she had left behind twelve years ago was more than a little frightening.

But she was more afraid for Nate. She cracked her knuckles. Time to put some old connections, bolstered by Spectre credentials, to use.

* * *

Before retiring for the evening, Shepard gathered her crew to fill them in on what they knew about Noveria and Matriarch Benezia, in addition to the threat posed by the Shadow Broker. She was careful to leave her old name and that of Nate and Cleon out of it. Thankfully Ashley kept quiet, though she watched Liara intently. The asari remained quiet beyond explaining the message she had received. The team broke up after a brief discussion. Kaidan and Tali would go with Shepard as they investigated Port Hanshan, the main port and the most likely area for Benezia's presence, given the numerous research stations and projects that operated out of that area. The rest of the crew would spread out throughout the port, listening to the ground and searching for clues. With any luck, someone would remember the powerful matriarch…and perhaps a certain turian.

As the team broke up, Shepard saw Liara sneak away, her head down and posture slumped. Garrus paused by the door, eyes following the scientist. "Is she all right?" he asked, a slight flutter in his mandibles. His deep voice could not hide his worry.

Shepard frowned. "I'm not sure," she admitted. Garrus turned to look at her briefly and she rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll go ask."

"Hey Liara!" Shepard called, running after her. The asari turned and smiled weakly. "Hello Commander. I was just about to return to my room."

"No you're not," Shepard said, steering her toward the elevator. "We need to talk, and you need to stop hiding."

"Talk about what?" asked Liara with confusion. "I know Noveria is important. You can trust me not to tip off my mother…"

"I'm not worried about that," said Shepard, setting the elevator to head down to the cargo bay. "I'm worried about our team. Today was…stressful. In more ways than one. And I don't want you to feel like a prisoner, like we're the bad guys and you have to stay hidden in your room. So we are going to destress and we are going to talk. Just Shepard and Liara. Not Commander and Doctor. Sound good?"

"I can hear you perfectly well Shepard," replied Liara, still puzzled.

Shepard chuckled. "It's a human expression. File that away while you 'study' us."

"Oh, I'm not studying you Shepard!" said Liara, suddenly embarrassed. "I just have never really been around humans and you do things so differently. It's fascinating to me! And you took such a chance allowing me on your ship and I see the way the others watch me. I don't want to make anyone more suspicious than they already are…"

"Liara, enough!" said Shepard, chuckling as they stepped off the elevator. "I think it's funny. Most human children go through a similar stage. They want to know everything about alien species."

"Did you go through that phase Shepard?" asked Liara, following her toward the training mats.

Shepard hesitated and then shook her hand, wrapping her hands as she spoke. "No I did not. To be honest, I did not really care for other species as a child. Something I'm still getting over," she said wryly. "And that's something you can help me with. So here." She grabbed Liara's hand and began wrapping it up.

"What are you doing?" she asked, trying to tug it away.

Shepard ignored her. "You need to stop being such a wilting flower. I'm going to teach you how to defend yourself and you're going to tell me about being an asari. We'll both learn something, and I won't feel like I'm being studied. Deal?"

"Um, yes?" she replied. "I am proficient with my biotics Shepard, I'm not sure how this will help."

"This will help because sometimes you don't have time to use biotics. Sometimes you have to rely on whatever you have in the moment. And self-defense will make you more confident and prepared. So," Shepard clapped her hands together, "let's begin."

* * *

"I did not realize my muscles would be so sore," said Liara the next morning, rubbing her shoulders as they left the ship.

The Alliance soldiers chuckled. "Well I did not realize how fascinating digging up old ruins could be. And dangerous. And lonely," added Shepard, thinking back to their conversation the night before as Liara had practiced holds and punches.

"I never wanted to be like my mother," she explained again. "I do not want to be a leader of our people. I am content with my study."

"Well you're going to get a lot more practical experience onboard with us Liara," said Kaidan.

She nodded. "That is true…I think some of that practical experience is about to happen now."

The team looked up at the security team greeting them, weapons out and postures bristling. "Oh lovely," grumbled Shepard, stepping forward. They had made it difficult enough for them to land, demanding clearance and proof of identification.

"Can we help you officers?" asked Shepard, halting with her arms crossed.

"You were not scheduled to arrive today. I need to see your credentials," demanded the head of the security team, blunt cut black hair and narrowed eyes conveying deep suspicion.

Shepard shook her head. "I gave you my name when we entered the atmosphere. My name is Commander Marion Shepard, Systems Alliance Navy and Council Spectre. You can confirm that in your database."

The guard looked less than pleased. "A Spectre? Well _Spectre _we don't allow unauthorized entry and we don't permit firearms. Lieutenant Stirling, secure their weapons."

But as the guard stepped forward, Shepard raised her pistol and she heard the sounds of her team behind her readying themselves, Liara, Kaidan, and Wrex glowing slightly. "I don't make it a habit to surrender my weapons to anyone," she replied coolly. "And as a Council Spectre, I get to keep my weapons. At all times."

"You can. They can't," said the guard, unruffled. "We might not be able to stop you but we can certainly stop them."

"Ha," said Wrex with a smirk. "I'd like to see you try."

"We sit outside Council space," reminded the guard. "You may have some extraterritorial privileges Spectre, but your team does not. Don't make this anymore difficult."

At Shepard's signal the team backed down. "I request permission to bring two of my crew with me," said Shepard.

"What business do you have here?" shot one of the other guards.

"Council business and no concern of yours," replied Shepard, starting to lose her temper. "I could blast my way through you with my team and create chaos, but I'd prefer to be civil. Three of us go in and the rest stay aboard. I think that is an acceptable compromise."

The guard still looked unhappy but she nodded reluctantly. "But only you can keep your weapons Commander," she said, eyeing the squad. "They don't have your privileges."

Shepard ground her teeth then looked back at her group. "Kaidan, Tali, you're with me."

"But…Shepard…" said Liara, but Shepard shook her head.

"Stay onboard the ship and see if you can pinpoint where that signal came from," she ordered quietly. "Ashley, Wrex and Garrus, prep for action. As soon as we find Benezia, you're coming in, rules or no."

Wrex clapped his hands together, looking pleased. Ashley did not, but after her pleading eyes did not move the commander, she moved back to the ship surrounded by her alien compatriots. Shepard almost laughed when Garrus clapped a hand on her back.

She turned back to the guard with a sarcastic smile. "Now as for these firearms…" She reached out and took Kaidan's pistol, holstering it. Though Tali's face was unseen, Shepard knew she was laughing from the shake of her shoulders as she handed her shotgun over to the commander. It was then strapped to her back with a grin. She bowed to the guards. "I think that meets the conditions. After all, only the Spectre is armed." With a small wave, she brushed past them to the elevator, leaving the guards cursing behind them.

* * *

**As always, comments, reviews and suggestions are welcome! If you have a moment, I would appreciate it! Thanks for the support, the follows, the faves! Knowing you are out there reading this story makes me want to write more for you each week :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello again! Yes, I'm late. Sincerest apologies, but I do have good reasons! First, I was super sick last week. It was not a fun time. Second, I have a beta now! The lovely My Fluffy Scarf is going to beta this story and has already provided helpful feedback. So updates from now on should be every 7-10 days between my writing and the beta process. **

**Thank you for the reviews, the follows and the favorites! It makes me so happy to know you support this endeavor. **

**So on with the show! And if you are looking for more Garrus, don't worry; he will play a major role but right now Shepard is doing some growing of her own. But this IS a FemShep/Garrus story.**

**All copyrights belong to Bioware. I'm just taking a spin through their universe.**

* * *

Chapter 15

"Pain in the ass bureaucracy bullshit," Shepard cursed, adding a few other choice phrases as she stormed out of Administrator Anoleis' office, Tali and Kaidan in tow behind her. "We know Benezia is here. We know _exactly_ where she is on this godforsaken planet and I can't get to her because that idiot loves to play games. Well so do I."

"She's making me nervous. Is she making you nervous?" asked Tali, watching Kaidan worriedly from behind the glass of her helmet.

Shepard glanced back with a grin. "Oh I don't want you to be nervous Tali. I need your hands to be steady when you hack into the garage."

"When I what?" she squawked, halting for a moment in the hallway. But Shepard kept moving forward, heading confidently in the direction of the elevators. Kaidan shook his head slowly despite the small smile on his face and gestured for Tali to keep following. "If Shepard's cooking up some crazy plan, you know it's going to work. It's how she operates, I've come to learn."

"You learn fast Kaidan," said Shepard. "I'll be passing command on to you soon."

Kaidan laughed as they got in the elevator. "Not a chance Shepard. I like my corner of the crew deck just fine."

"Wait, am I really hacking into the garage?" interrupted Tali, sounding somewhat panicked.

Shepard laid a hand calmingly on her shoulder. "No, you are just going to check out the system. You're going to hack it _later_."

"Oh wonderful," said Tali grumpily. "I was hoping to get arrested today."

* * *

It turned out to be easy to distract the guard long enough for Tali to do a quick scan of the security mechanisms to the garage. Shepard's initial questions about the security of Port Hanshan and the location of Matriarch Benezia aroused suspicion, they deflected attention from Tali. That attention was totally lost with one look at Kaidan, which set the young guard to blushing and stammering. With an evil grin (and only a slight jealous twist to her heart), Shepard pushed Kaidan forward, forcing him to talk and adding in exaggerated details of his recent exploits aboard the Normandy. At a slight signal from Tali, Shepard straightened from her lean against the wall and tugged Kaidan away. "Okay Romeo, you and the private are going to have to finish this discussion later. Time to feed the hungry Spectre." She saluted at the guard with a crooked grin. "Have a good day private."

The trio headed back to the Normandy where Shepard happily threw herself into plotting. Tali's scans had revealed a weakness in the system that would be easy for an expert quarian hacker to exploit. Liara watched quietly, observing the dynamics among the squad as they sat in the comm room.

Tali's confidence was blooming under the praise and encouragement from Shepard. Liara realized that different postures and tilts of the head conveyed Tali's emotions in ways that were every bit as expressive as her companions' faces. Wrex stood gruffly over the group, occasionally offering a helpful comment, mostly referencing past escapades. Though the krogan made her a little nervous, Liara noted how he blended with the group in a surprisingly easy way. He was a warrior; that was a language they all seemed to understand. Garrus was a little more of mystery; standing off to the side, arms crossed and eyes sharp. The asari itched to get her hands on the data his visor must have been picking up.

Then there were the three humans, so vastly different from one another. There was the distrustful Chief Williams, who always seemed to be hovering around Liara. At the moment she was bent over a holo, pointing at a schematic, a lock of hair falling across her face. She pushed it aside with what Liara recognized as absentminded irritation, the blue light glowing on her face. Kaidan Alenko leaned against the table, watching quietly, his brown eyes focused. There was a quiet strength to him that others recognized and deferred to and yet he looked to Shepard for command.

Shepard. Liara had not met many humans. Their expressions and behaviors often baffled her - and Shepard was the biggest puzzle of all. Liara loved a puzzle; it was what had drawn her to the fate of the Protheans. She had read about Akuze; she knew the commander was a spacer – and a powerful biotic, she'd seen glimmers of it - yet she restrained herself from that potential. She could be distrustful, irascible…and then kind. Patient.

And then there was her connection to the Protheans! To have been touched by an actual working beacon, to perhaps have the key to the mystery of the Protheans' extinction…Shepard had passed through the barrier curtain by all the Goddess! She was the first human Spectre, chasing down Saren…and Liara's own mother. Could she trust Shepard? Could she trust her mother? Liara brooded.

Of course Shepard noticed. Suddenly she was in front of the asari, waving her hand in front of her face. Liara jolted, making Shepard laugh. "Earth to Liara? Are we boring you?" she asked, amused.

"Oh-no Shepard!" exclaimed Liara, looking around at the group with wide alert eyes. They all looked varying degrees of amused as they turned back to their plans. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking."

"About how to get into Peak 15 I hope," asked Shepard wryly. "We know how to get into the garage, we can hijack one of their Makos and drive through the storm…"

"Not if you're driving," interrupted Wrex with a baleful red glare.

Shepard ignored that. "But the security at Peak 15 is bound to be tighter. I'm not sure even Tali's fancy fingerwork is going to be enough, not without knowing more about what's housed at the site and what Benezia might be doing."

"She'll let me in," said Liara with sudden conviction. She met Shepard's eyes resolutely. "She may have changed, but she reached out. She wants my help. If you can get us to Peak 15, I can get us inside."

Shepard looked at her, the sadness she felt at this impossible situation hidden from her gaze. "I don't know what we're going to find Liara. Your mother is the enemy at this moment. I have to go in there treating her as such unless she gives me reason to believe otherwise. Are you sure you will be able to be there?"

"What you are really asking is whether you can trust me when we get there," Liara said slowly, her voice quiet and low.

"It's a fair question," muttered Ashley to Kaidan.

"Saren is a threat to the galaxy. These Reapers apparently destroyed the Protheans, and Saren would like to use them to destroy us. This is not the moment for distrust or doubt." If Shepard's eyes flickered to Garrus, no one seemed to notice. "Your mother is allied with this rogue. Can you help us end this threat or not? It is as simple as that."

There was a long silence as the two women stared at each other. "You truly believe the Reapers destroyed the Protheans? And that Saren is trying to repeat the cycle?" she asked softly.

Shepard nodded slowly, those gray blue eyes neither forgiving nor sympathetic. She merely waited. Liara returned the gesture. "Then I will help you. And hope the Goddess can guide my mother out of this before I have to do something about it."

* * *

They started with the distraction. It was more of a ruckus really. Only Shepard was armed when they left the Normandy. She smiled pleasantly at the suspicious guards who watched her, Tali and Ashley. Together the three women strolled through Port Hanshan, heading for the garage. Stepping off toward the storefronts, Ashley winked before engaging an eager volus in a discussion of weaponry. Shepard smirked and continued on with Tali.

The young private was on guard duty again. She jerked to attention at Shepard's reappearance, promptly performing a quick sweep behind the commander, looking for someone. Shepard squashed the urge to chuckle and then strangle the young woman. Instead she smiled in a friendly way. "Lieutenant Alenko was hoping you would join him for a drink at the end of your shift. But I thought I'd help my friend out. I'd be happy to cover your post if you wanted to meet him a little early."

The private stared then shook her head, holding her weapon more tightly. "I'm sorry Commander, but I need to stay at my post until the end of my shift," she replied. Shepard would have believed the commitment if she hadn't heard the note of regret.

"Private, I am a Spectre. I promise I can guard a door easily enough. Go, enjoy your drink!" She clapped a hand on the guard's shoulder, subtly positioning her feet in a wide stance. "His voice is something else, isn't it?" she added conspiratorially.

The young woman sighed just a little and her hands loosened on her weapon. "He does know a lot about the new Crossfire assault rifle," she said, looking toward the door, "and he…"

Suddenly her rifle was out of her hands, clattering to the floor, Shepard's arm around her neck. "Sorry private, but first rule of combat: never let your guard down," muttered Shepard, holding her captive tightly. "You're just going to take a nice nap and stay out of the nice Spectre's way for a bit."

The young woman struggled both to free herself and to breathe, clawing at Shepard's arm and kicking ineffectually at her legs. "Tali, get that door open now!" ordered Shepard, gritting her teeth with distaste as she waited for the guard to pass out.

"On it Shepard!" answered Tali, already kneeling by the control panel, hands among the wires.

Slowly Shepard's captive sank to the floor. She checked to make sure her pulse was steady then used the guard's cuffs to bind her. "And part two in three, two, one…"

The fire alarm system blared and Shepard grinned even as she covered her ears. "Now that's what I'm talking about!" Shepard yelled over the sound. Her omni-tool lit up showing Ashley's grinning face. "Nice work Williams, now get your ass over here!"

"Aye aye Skipper!" she answered.

A few quick touches to her tool sent the signal to the rest of the team at the Normandy. She knew right now the guards would be thrown into chaos, trying to find the source of the alarm. It would make getting the rest of the team off of the ship a bit easier.

"We're in Shepard!" yelled Tali as the doors to the garage slid open.

"Joker, is the ground team off the Normandy?" asked Shepard, striding into the garage, eyes searching for a Mako.

"Yeah they're out there wreaking havoc as we speak," replied Joker over the comm. "Wrex looked a little too happy."

"A happy krogan makes a happy Shepard," she said, tossing a shotgun to Tali. "Kaidan, what's your ETA?"

"Five minutes Commander. The guards were distracted enough that we got into the Port but we're getting bogged down by the market," shouted Kaidan over the sound of battle. "We're not shooting to kill but they seem to have no such problem."

"We're not here to massacre Alenko, we're here to get to the Matriarch. Just keep pushing forward. We're securing the Mako now." Shepard stepped up to the vehicle, a foot already on the tire to climb inside. And then she saw the whisper quiet movement out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh shit," she murmured to herself. Suddenly she jumped down and shouted, "GETH!"

Her pistol was out and shooting before the word entirely left her mouth. The geth walker collapsed at her feet, spilling grey liquid and sparking.

Tali turned to watch two juggernauts claw their way out of boxes nearby. "Shepard!" she shouted in warning, ducking behind the Mako to avoid fire.

"Alenko, we've got geth here!" yelled Shepard, moving to cover.

"We're seeing that here too Commander," he responded, surprisingly calm over the increased sounds of battle. "They're coming out of storefronts, firing on everyone."

"At least the guards have a new enemy to fight," muttered Shepard. She turned to the quarian beside her, calculating in her head. "Williams, Liara, get here pronto. Alenko I'm sending Tali back to you. She can help you deal with these monsters. Once the port is secure, get to the garage and get your asses to Peak 15."

"Roger Commander," replied Alenko. "Liara and Ash are on their way, Liara's got a barrier bubble around the two of them."

"Works for me," said Shepard. She leaned out of cover to pinpoint the juggernauts' position. They were on their 10 and 2, advancing toward the Mako. "Tali, get going. I'll cover you."

"But Shepard…there's two of them…"

Shepard grinned and threw on her helmet. "That's what makes it fun. Now go Tali'Zorah, that's an order!"

The quarian nodded, gathered herself, and ran. Shepard slid out behind her, running across the garage as she fired, weaving around cover. Tali slipped through the door, leaving Shepard alone.

She waited, checking her pistol and gathering herself. Then she smiled. "I don't use these often enough," she murmured to herself, plucking something from her belt. Suddenly she ducked around the crate, a grenade in hand. She hucked it in their direction and then fired, distracting them from the bomb rolling around their feet.

An explosion left one juggernaut dismembered and smoking on the floor. The other staggered backwards, some sparks flying but still very much operational. It gathered itself and charged.

Shepard gritted her teeth and waited for the last possible moment before throwing herself out of the way, biotically pushing herself off of the juggernaut. It unnerved her that this did not even make the geth stagger, already slowing down to face her. But then she was firing again, hitting key points in its armor. It gave a gurgling yell and spun, shotgun firing. She ran, eyes sweeping the field.

"There it is," she said to herself, ducking behind cover. She eased around the edge of her protective wall and took aim at the fire containment system the juggernaut was about to barrel past. "One more step," she murmured, hands steady.

She fired and ducked. The resulting explosion and screech of the geth, followed by sudden silence, told her the job was done.

"Shepard!" came the yell through the smoke. The commander moved forward, passing through the haze to greet her approaching team.

"Nice work Skipper," praised Ashley, assault rifle in hand.

"How's the port?" Shepard asked, already moving to the Mako.

"The geth are everywhere, but Kaidan was organizing some of the guards who had been shooting at us into some kind of defense," said Liara, breathing hard. The sudden battle had startled her, though she attempted to hide that from Shepard.

"He has it under control Shepard. No primes or armatures. They're right behind us," added Ashley, holding open the hatch to the Mako.

"Well let's go then. The sooner we get the Matriarch, the closer we get to stopping this madness. Who knows what else Benezia brought with her," said Shepard, clambering inside.

Liara did not hesitate. She followed Shepard inside quickly, ignoring the suspicious glare of Ashley Williams.

* * *

**Okay, we're hunting for the Matriarch. Any guesses as to how this is going to go? What about Nate and Cleon? What is the Shadow Broker planning? Stay tuned! As always, comments, reviews, suggestions and reminders to post are welcome, encouraged and appreciated!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello! And on we go. I'll let you get right to it. Thanks to My Fluffy Scarf for the beta work!**

**All copyright belongs to Bioware. I'm just taking a spin through their universe.**

* * *

Chapter 16

"Is this how she normally drives?" asked Liara, bracing herself inside the Mako while Shepard executed yet another launch at a geth armature.

Ashley barked a laugh from the gun, trying to keep her balance. "The snow is actually slowing her down. I'm getting bored up here, Shepard!" she shouted.

Shepard grinned but did not look around. "We're almost to Peak 15. Liara, are you picking up anything?"

"The facility is well-shielded. I cannot locate her within the complex," she replied.

"Okay, then. When we reach Peak 15, Liara will hopefully get us inside. Then we will just move…Ashley, turret 1 o'clock!" shouted Shepard.

"Got it Skipper!" replied Ashley swiveling the gun. She took out the turret without issue and shook out her hands. "I am getting tired of being so good at this," she said with a laugh.

"Um, Ashley…I think that might not have been such a good one," said Liara, looking wide-eyed first at her screen and then through the small window outside.

"Excuse me?" Ashley started to say.

"Avalanche!" yelled Shepard, slamming her foot on the accelerator. Sure enough, where Ashley's blast had taken out the turret, a large block of snow and ice had dislodged and was currently about to intersect them. Further up the slope, more snow on the left and right appeared to be loosening.

Shepard mumbled curses under her breath and leaned forward, as if that could help the Mako move faster. "Shepard…" said Liara, an edge of panic to her voice.

"We're almost there," muttered Shepard, gritting her teeth.

The block of snow and ice began to crumble and slide just as they passed beneath the destroyed turret. "Shepard!" yelled Ashley.

"Liara, throw a barrier around us now!" shouted Shepard, hands tightly gripping the bouncing steering wheel. The wall of snow was going to hit them any second and the base was just ahead, Shepard could see it.

"Around the whole vehicle?" Liara asked in disbelief, panic streaking through her voice.

"Do it NOW!" Shepard screamed, turning her head to shoot a glare at Liara. The asari reached out and pushed out a blue cloud…but it was not enough.

It was pure instinct that made Shepard stretch out, placing her hands against the sides of the Mako. A second cloud expanded around her, her body glowing as she released biotic energy with a shout. Just then, the wave of collapsing snow surged against the sides, flowing up and around the barrier, creating a bubble of safety for the Mako and its occupants. "Ashley, take the wheel," said Shepard through gritted teeth. She and Liara groaned beneath the pressure as Ashley scrambled to take Shepard's place, her brown eyes wide.

It only took a few seconds for the Mako to power through the avalanche, protected by the biotic barrier. But for Shepard, it felt like some of the longest seconds of her life, her whole body protesting this unexpected use, shielding a large moving object from hundreds if not thousands of  
pounds of snow and ice.

Then they were through and Ashley was pulling up in front of Peak 15. But Liara and Shepard were frozen in place, all of their concentration on their biotic barrier.

"Um, Shepard? Liara?" Ashley asked tentatively, placing a hand gently on the asari's shoulder. "It's okay, you got us through. You…you can stop now."

Slowly the barrier faded, absorbing back into the two biotics. Silence reigned inside for a few moments, Shepard and Liara breathing heavily but quietly.

"Are you…all right?" asked Liara slowly, lifting her head to look up at the commander. Shepard sat still, her head hung, black hair falling around her face, her hands clenched tightly together.

No, she was not all right. Her stomach was revolting inside of her, her hands were white-knuckled with the attempt to not let them shake, and her mind was swirling with images of terror and death and panic.

But they were on a mission. There was no time to fall apart. So she forced herself to look up and unlock her hands. "Yes." She touched the comm. "Kaidan? What's the situation?"

"We've secured the marketplace and are searching the area now, Commander," responded Kaidan. "Tali had a suit leak from a gunshot, but we've isolated it and her suit is responding. We're going to return her to the ship, and once Port Hanshan is secure, we'll join you. How was the drive?"

"Eventful," she replied dryly. "Work fast, Alenko, I have a feeling I'm going to need the back up. Oh," she added as an afterthought, "you might have to come in the back way."

* * *

Liara stood before the door to Peak 15, snow swirling around her body. Shepard and Ashley stood a few feet back, armed and wary. Moving slowly, Liara stepped up to the keypad, fingers hovering above it. "Mother, I'm here," she whispered. Her fingers stroked the keys and then typed with purpose.

The door slid open and Liara hurried inside, Shepard and Ashley following behind her.

"How did you know the code?" asked Shepard.

She paused for a moment. "It's the year I was born," said Liara quietly, releasing her pistol to hold it with a surprisingly steady hand.

Shepard said nothing, but tightened her own grip, moving to point. "We're in the pursuit of a fugitive of the law and a possible co-conspirator of Saren Arterius. We find Matriarch Benezia, assess the threat, and attempt to bring her into custody. I'm not leaving this place until we find some answers."

"Okay, I'm ready to leave this place!" shouted Shepard, ducking behind a crate to avoid yet another squad of geth troopers. The damn facility was full of them, mixed in with a few krogan mercenaries. Ashley knelt and fired her assault rifle, taking out one of the krogan and a geth for good measure.

"User alert," sounded the monotonous alarm. "All Peak 15 facilities have suffered a great deal of damage."

"That voice is literally about to drive me insane," continued Shepard, leaning out of cover to fire at another trooper.

"Come on out here, little asari," growled the remaining krogan. "I know someone who would like to see you."

Shepard watched Liara's cheeks darken into a deeper shade of blue. She suddenly slid out of cover, hands glowing. "Stop calling me little," she snapped, pushing out and sending the krogan stumbling. But he was not a successful krogan mercenary for nothing. He regained his footing faster than anticipated and then he was firing. Liara dropped and Shepard and Ashley leaped into action, attacking in short but furious flurry. The krogan dropped and the women rushed to Liara's side. Shepard breathed a sigh of relief when Liara groaned and attempted to roll over before she cried out. "It's…my side," she panted, clutching a hand to the wound, blue blood soaking through.

"This is why I wanted you to wear armor!" chastised Shepard, still secretly reassured. "Here, some medigel will help for now until we can get you to Dr. Chakwas."

"It was my own fault; I was overconfident," murmured Liara, wincing as the medigel was applied, and then sighing as the sensation of pain faded.

"A lesson all rookies have to learn, and one a few veterans would probably do well to remember," added Shepard wryly, passing Liara a protein bar. "Eat this. Then we have to keep going."

If Shepard was expecting to see a look of weariness or surprise at the thought of continuing on, Liara dismissed that thought. She ate her bar, swilled some water and then stood gingerly, picking up her pistol again. "Then let's keep going."

* * *

The trio edged through the doorway and walked into destruction. The roof had caved in, and snow had settled throughout the hallway. Fallen tiles and tilting walls created plenty of cover for the next group of geth they encountered. This was an easier group to take down: the three women fired in silence, biotics quieted in an attempt to preserve strength.

When the last geth fell, Shepard led the group through the snow, listening to the strange creaks coming from the structures. She paused in the snow, her hand raised and brow furrowed. Her eyes scanned the room, her senses on high alert. "Williams," she said, gesturing forward. Ashley moved slowly up the stairs, rifle ready.

She turned back to look at Shepard and then fired right at her. Shepard yipped and dove to the side, prepared to fight, heart clenched at the thought of betrayal. Then she saw it.

A…creature loomed over her, an insectlike body that rose up about four feet, long tentacle like appendages flaring open like some sort of bizarre flower. The creature shrieked and spat a glob of green acid at her. Shepard rolled and suddenly the creature flew into the air, Liara lifting it and tossing it hard against the wall.

"We've got another one!" yelled Ashley, spinning to fire. But a spit of green acid hit her and she shrieked, her leg burning where the poison struck. Still she continued to fire as it advanced.

Shepard scrambled up and threw the alien on instinct, slamming its body into a wall and breaking its neck. Ashley slid to the snow as the danger passed, gripping her leg.

"Hold on, Ashley," said Liara, rushing over with her omni-tool lit up.

"My suit gave me some medigel but my leg still feels like it's on fire," said Ashley, grimacing under her helmet.

"This wound is like nothing I've ever seen before," commented Liara, examining her readings. "The acid is slowing down, but it went right through her armor…"

"Yeah, no shit," growled Ashley.

"She's just trying to help," said Shepard, examining the injury. The bit of Ashley's skin that was visible through the damage was bright red and bubbled. Shepard winced in sympathy. "You almost gave me a heart attack, firing at me like that," she said casually. "Not exactly a moment I want to repeat."

"Me neither, Skipper," admitted Ashley with a shaky grin. "But I saw that thing rear up behind you and I thought it was going to skewer you."

"You did the right thing, Chief," said Shepard, clasping her on the shoulder.

"Commander, I'm getting a result on this acid that should not be possible," said Liara slowly, her blue eyes wide over her omni tool. "It…it says this is rachni acid."

Shepard and Ashley stared at her, the haunting sound of the wind the only noise. "What did you say?" asked Shepard, her voice hushed.

"Rachni, Shepard," repeated Liara, the words resonating with an unknown fear suddenly made reality. "I think these are rachni."

"I thought the rachni were extinct? That they were wiped out by the krogan millennia ago?" said Ashley.

Shepard looked up at the complex, her mind racing. "What the hell is your mother doing in this research facility?"

* * *

Shepard managed to rally her wounded team and get them inside the base. Though she occasionally gripped her side, Liara gamely rebooted the computer systems and the VI, allowing them access to the reactor and landlines. The main research complex was further into the mountain, and these rachni were apparently on the loose with the geth. Several parts of the complex had been damaged, making Shepard wonder what they would find at main research facility. She and Ashley stood guard as Liara worked the computers, defending against the random rachni creatures that would come up through the ventilation shafts.

The comms weren't working anymore. Shepard tried to reach the rest of her team but was met with only static. "Storm must be interfering with the connection," she said with a shrug.

"Or someone is making sure we're cut off from any more help," added Ashley, her face starting to look bright red as if with fever.

"Are you feeling all right there, Chief?" asked Shepard, starting to feel more than a little concern at the state of her crew.

"Ship shape, Skipper," insisted Ashley, turning her face away. "Let's just get through this frozen wasteland."

"I've got it, Commander!" exclaimed Liara, looking pleased with her makeshift work with the reactor. "We should be able to access the tram now and make our way to the main research facility."

"Any educated guesses as to what we'll find there?" asked Shepard, taking point as they made their way to the tram.

"I can only hope that these creatures have not infiltrated other parts of the complex," said Liara.

"Yeah, it'd be nice to only have to deal with the geth," muttered Ashley.

Just then, there was the familiar screech of an ancient monster. Shepard almost sighed. "We don't have that kind of luck."

* * *

Two rachni, a squad of geth and a freezing cold tram ride later, Shepard shook hands with Captain Ventralis, the leader of a ragtag and exhausted defense team. Apparently, the facility had been stranded for several days: scientists and other team members were trapped by the attack of these creatures. The captain was hesitant to call them rachni, but he seemed hesitant about a lot of things.

Details were not exactly forthcoming. Like his Port Hanshan counterparts, he seemed reluctant to grant her access to the labs. All he would say was that Matriarch Benezia had left for the hot labs two days before and had not been heard from since. She felt Liara tense beside her, but the asari said nothing.

It was not exactly a comfortable atmosphere: listening for the sounds of another attack, trading extra gunfire for some rations and medical attention. Liara's side was properly wrapped up and they had time to take off Ashley's armor to clean her burns and bandage her leg. Her limp was becoming more pronounced, but the chief refused to complain.

After a few hours, Shepard noticed that the guards were continuing to watch her and her group. They were an edgy bunch and Shepard was beginning to suspect that they had been expecting her. Her Spectre status was not something she wanted to bandy about, but the announcement of her title met with little awe and still less cooperation.

"Do you feel like we're not getting the whole story?" muttered Shepard as they left the medic's office, her team feeling fresher but jumpier by the second.

"We need to reach the main laboratory," said Liara quietly. "That's where the Matriarch was last seen. We should also be able to find some answers about whether these are true rachni or some unfortunate experiment gone terribly wrong."

"Saren is a major investor with Binary Helix, and they're the ones renting this lab from Port Hanshan," said Shepard, her voice hard as the group marched down the hallway. "He's behind this and the Matriarch is involved. I want to know what they were doing and what went so wrong. And then I want to know where the hell Saren is in all this."

"You may want to speak to Han Olar, then," said a feminine voice from behind them.

Shepard spun, her hand already holding her pistol. An asari held up her hands, a confident smirk on her pretty face.

"Dr. Alestia Iallis, molecular geneticist." Though her introduction was polite enough, she did not move closer, folding her arms across her chest. Shepard eyed her suspiciously, less than impressed.

"Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy, Council Spectre," replied Shepard, still holding her pistol, her gaze steady. She did not introduce Liara or Ashley, not wanting to give this stranger any information she could manipulate. Alestia raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow but said nothing.

"All of Noveria got the alert that you had arrived, Spectre. We were all so grateful to hear the news."

"Yeah, you sound like it," said Shepard, holstering her pistol slowly. She could feel her team's tension beside her but knew that this woman held the possibility of answers. "Who is Han Olar, and why should we talk to him?"

"A volus who was there during the first wave of attacks. He might have some insight as to what happened when the creatures went on a rampage."

"Can you confirm that those were rachni? Actual rachni?" blurted out Liara.

Alestia smirked. "I can't confirm anything. Company secrets and all that. But I can tell you that they were not supposed to react like this. Good thing we have the Spectre riding in to save the day."

Ashley bristled beside the commander, but Shepard watched the strange asari, eyes narrowed and mind racing. Still she remained poised, calculating her options in silence, long enough for Alestia to fidget. Then the commander smiled warmly and said, "Do you know where we could find this Han Olar? I'd love to hear a bit more about this lab before I swoop in to save the day."

She turned around to walk away, steps echoing through the hall. Ashley and Liara, on either side, hid her movement as she loosened her pistol on her belt. Liara felt her biotics respond to the tension and let the light gather on her palms. "And then," continued Shepard, "you might be able to tell me more about Matriarch Benezia, _commando_."

The bright lights of biotics lit the hallway.

* * *

**I know, no Garrus. He's coming back with a vengeance though! I needed Ashley, Liara, and Shepard to bond a bit. Garrus and Shepard will reunite in the next chapter and we will start to see much more of him.**

**Your reviews, suggestions and comments are always welcome! Please let me know what you think of the chapter and what you're thinking of the story in general. Oh and we reached 50 followers! That makes me pretty darn happy :)**


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